by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Jan. 1, 2024) — “Trump Won” (3:30)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. In homage to our past, unlike the mayor of Jacksonville, FL, we find ourselves back on a sidewalk, under an awning, waylaying people as they walk by. And no, we’re not back in a suburb of Chicago that is filled with way too many stupid people for our taste, thank you very much. Excuse me, Ma’am, Roving for ‘Pulse’; mind if I ask you a few questions for our human interested audience?”
“Oh, my, you startled me. I know you; you’re that guy that’s always bothering people. Used to watch you with Sparkles, my cat. She died and I moved. No more snow for me. You can keep your snow.”
“It’s not my snow.”
“Well, it’s somebody’s snow; if it’s not mine or yours, whose snow do you think it is?”
“Look, lady, I’m not talking about snow, okay? I want to ask you about the thousands of people watching college football while thousands of illegal immigrants are invading our country.”
“And I want to talk about snow, so there. What are you going to do about all those lawbreakers crossing our borders? I’ll tell you: nothing. The Joint Chiefs of Staff don’t care, and if they’re not going to lift a finger to protect our country from being invaded and taken down and ruined right before our eyes, what are you going to do, buy another box of ammo?”
“What about our politicians?”
“Fat chance. It’s been three years since Biden stole the election and nothing’s been done except perpetuate the lie that the election wasn’t ‘stolen’ and that Trump is somehow responsible for the Capitol Police goons beating up and killing people. We know the FBI was in on Pelosi’s lie; we know that VP Mike Pence is a spineless weasel, and we know that the only law that was broken was by stupid people acting stupidly.”
“Give me a specific.”
“You want a specific, I’ll give you one. My next-door neighbor, well, two doors down the hall on the other side, has a daughter who just got married last year — or was it a few years before last year — I forget. Don’t you just hate it when you know something but can’t remember? I even sent a card with a brand-new $10 bill that I went specifically to the bank for. I told the teller that my neighbor’s daughter…”
“Stop! Look, lady, we don’t have all day. You were saying that the daughter got married.”
“That’s right. I’m surprised you knew, but of course it was in the paper. Beautiful picture of the happy couple cutting the cake, didn’t you think so?”
“Lady.”
“Anyway, her husband applied for a job with the FBI, and you know what the first question was on the application?”
“Please tell us in 500 words or less.”
“You may think you’re funny but you’re not. Sparkles always thought you were rude. I have her on one of my kitchen cabinets, the little one above the refrigerator.”
“The application?”
“That’s right, I’m surprised you knew, but then it doesn’t take a whole lot to surprise me, not at my age. Now, as I was saying, the first question was, ‘Would you fire on US citizens?’ What do you think of that?”
“Not a whole heck of a lot.”
“But he did, and he works in Washington. He travels all over arresting sightseers, is what he does. Kind-of odd arresting people who were just walking around, don’t you think? There weren’t this many stupid people in my day, trust me. How do they all get so stupid so quickly? Can you tell me that?”
“Mainstream media, that and nobody reads or, heck, cares anymore. There’s no Draft and no respect for our flag so the stupid people kneel during our National Anthem*.”
“I’m an old lady and I feel really sad for the future generation who won’t have a country, but they reap what they sow, right?”
“Right on. They let a usurper, Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, take over as president, and the result is that when we left Afghanistan, we gave the Muslims billions of dollars’ worth of weapons to destroy Israel and eventually us.”
“No one listens anymore, do they?”
“No, lady, they sure don’t.”
[National Anthem: Truth of the matter is that neither I nor any of my friends watch the NFL anymore; couldn’t care less. You disrespect my country, you’re nothing but toast to me.]
“Justice for All” (2:24)
I guess it’s appropriate to also include in this article an eye-catching graphic that shows a USA flag displaying most of the 50 white stars being displayed in an incorrect geometric layout against the blue field to coincide with the unpatriotic insanity cited in this article.
Clicked on the mentioned flag graphic source and found a lot of graphics on that website to be annoyingly unpleasant and repulsive.