by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Jan. 10, 2022) — “Time Won’t Let Me” (2:45)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is ‘Un-buff Ken,’ the premier disguise expert for the FBI. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. So, you’re a camouflage artist for the government; is that how I’m reading it?”
“Yes, that is correct. We travel wherever there is some sort of gathering that we can stir up for the Fake News. The fake kidnapping of the Michigan governor was the dress rehearsal of how easy it is to lead stupid people to do stupid things, like what was the relationship between Mike Pence and a tour of the Capitol? There wasn’t any, so there.”
“Yes, we know that and if we were there we would have told the fools that and tried to stop them, but we weren’t so we didn’t and Ashli Babbit was murdered for trespassing, right?”
“Yes, she was murdered and she was trespassing, but I’m here to talk about my professionalism on disguising FBI agents to look like normal people, people who have at least half a brain to know that Trump was the best thing that happened to the Constitution in a century.”
“Well, you’ve been pretty successful; I mean, look at Ferguson, Baltimore, Seattle and Portland. And we especially appreciate your efforts on the quality of the crying and whining when it comes to registering to vote. I mean, you have to have an ID to collect Food Stamps and Welfare, so obviously they have an ID already, right?”
“But of course; they know that and we know that, but that’s not the point. The point is to get the opportunity to do it for the Fake News.”
“So Baltimore and Minneapolis out of control is good?”
“It shows that the Democrats are in power.”
“And that’s good?”
“Well, not really, but it makes the stupids feel part of the solution, and that is good.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m losing the trend of our conversation.”
“That’s because you’re thinking in a logical manner. Have you ever watched ‘The View?’ No matter; they do not think in a logical manner; they follow some sort of guide that always takes them to the wrong conclusions.”
“Give us an example.”
“Let me just say anything to do with honesty, the Constitution and Trump. How about the ‘Russian Collusion?'”
“Try another one, more recent.”
“The fraud of an election?”
“Newer.”
“Okay, then how about Nancy Pelosi not testifying about why she didn’t honor Trump’s request to have the National Guard in Washington?”
“Back to the disguises: you want the agents to blend in?”
“Oh, no, can’t do that; I mean, what if we have to shoot one of the marchers? Can’t be shooting our own, now, can we?”
“So how do you do it? How do you insert the FBI in a parade without them being recognized?”
“Look, I’ll be honest with you: there are no longer parades. I mean, maybe there are parades, but nowadays we call them ‘riots.’ Here’s an example: Jan. 6 was a peaceful protest (parade) but, because this ‘Ain’t America no more*’, the peaceful protest is now called an insurrection, or riot. But to answer your question, we just scuff up their shoeshine a little; that’s it, which is how I got my handle.”
“’Un-buff.’”
“You got it.”
“Thanks for being on the show.”
“Enjoyed it.”
“And that’ll do it for us so I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Ain’t America no more: What next, mail-in voting from non-American citizens, from anywhere in the world? The thing is, if there’s no line, there’s no law.]
[Little People report: Waiting to pounce on the traitors.]
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[FYI: There was no ‘insurrection’ on Jan. 6; COVID-19 is the Chinese flu that there is no vaccine for, so don’t ever get The Jab.]
[By the way, there WAS insurrection, but it was by Joe Biden on Jan. 20.]
“Teenage Crush” (2:18)
Roving Reporter