by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Mar. 9, 2023) — “Smooth Operator” (4:19)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Indeed, the inmates have taken over the asylum and it’s up to us to take it back, one way or the other. The Deep State is the ‘Land of Mordor’ and the ‘all-seeing eye’ is every facet of the government violating citizens’ Constitutional rights every minute of every day.
“We open our borders to our enemies which is the excuse of law enforcement for asking for bigger budgets; crime goes up at the same rate as the police budgets go up: same coin with two different, not separate, sides. Like the Dems and McConnell on the same team, so too are the crooks and the cops. Within the Beltway, AG Merrick Garland and FBI Director Christopher Wray are known to be ‘government gangsters.’
“Currently, the Deep State is in control and it is up to us to take it back before they take our guns. The equation is simple: no guns equals no freedom. And here’s another equation: if your wife or daughter is unarmed and raped, then she was helpless because she was unarmed. Maybe the rapist has AIDS. ‘But guns are outlawed where I live.’ So? The crooks don’t care so why should you? And that’s my opening statement.
“Tonight’s guest is no stranger to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. Hello, Professor Wert; welcome aboard.”
“And so glad to be back, thank you.”
“Back? I didn’t know you left.”
“The ‘jet age,’ Roving; we live in the ‘jet age.’ I went on a sightseeing trip in Ukraine, a riverboat down the Danube. Very picturesque, peaceful, and relaxing.”
“Please excuse us while we take a quick commercial break.”
“Für Elise” (4:08)
“We’re back with Professor Wert. What about the war?”
“What war? Since the travel agency is owned by the Deep State we had a free pass down the river. Food was great and the music, well, let me tell you that I love waltzes now. Find myself humming them all day long.”
“But what about the tanks and planes?”
“We saw one plane the whole time and caught a glimpse of a tank; the plyboard camouflage fell due to a gust of wind, but other than that, nothing. Made friends with all the passengers.”
“I was going to ask you about the passengers. Where were they from and how many?”
“Sixty passengers from all over; I was the only American, and when they learned that I was a Trumpster I was the ’toast of the boat’ by the Russians, believe it or not. Had a great time; highly recommend it.”
“Was it expensive?”
“Very, but think of all the people that have to get paid off. Heck, just to start there’s Schumer and McConnell, the Joint Chiefs, various bureaucrats, not only in our government but in Ukraine and Russia as well, the ‘Big Guy’ and Putin.”
“So, you had fun, right?”
“A blast. Anyway, the passengers were mostly interested in physics with a smattering of anthropologists. Had some rather interesting discussions. I gave a lecture on ‘Dark Matter’ which was well-received, although there was no applause.”
“What was your speech about?”
“I proposed that energy has weight — well, what I really said was that gravitational waves have weight, but we don’t know how to weigh gravity, at least not yet. They smiled at me, which is better than being stoned, I suppose. As I said, it was just an idea.”
“So, did the boat have an orchestra to play the waltzes?”
“Yes, and they had a wonderful dance floor on the fantail of a ship. The young girl stewards provided dance partners for us older men without partners. They all spoke English very well, all Ukraine women.”
“So, what did the passengers say about the films of Jan. 6?”
“They thought Schumer and McConnell were a joke. There it was, a peaceful protest that was billed as the worst thing to befall America since the Civil War, worse than Pearl Harbor and 9-11 combined. They had a good laugh, but I didn’t laugh, knowing we have a gulag in Washington filled with citizens who weren’t guilty of anything. They were rather excited about Henry, I’d say.”
“Henry? No way.”
“They say the only one who will kick the Muslims out of the United States is Henry; they say the only one to kick the illegal ‘immigrants’ out is Henry; and they say the only one to put each and every criminal who had a hand in the stolen 2020 presidential election in prison is Henry. They say Henry will kick the queers out of the military while Trump will coddle the queers. They say Henry will have a Secretary of Defense who was in actual combat and not combat in the halls of Congress.”
“Really? They know more than we do?”
“Since Biden the world has become, exponentially, a more dangerous place. Biden doesn’t have a clue and if you doubt me, just look at our borders, from Arizona to any of our international airports. The expressed purpose of the chaos is to destroy the United States, to make the people turn on one another, to introduce anarchy and keep it alive. The weak link has always been the judge and lawyers. If I may, I will quote William Shakespeare.”
“You may.”
“From King Henry VI, Part 2: ‘The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.’ He could have just as easily said the same about the judges.”
“I think he did. Well, I’m sorry that we’ve run out of time. Any last words?”
“Don’t fall for the ‘pandemic’ lie’; the ‘COVID-19′ lie; the ‘Clot Shot’ lie’; the ‘Jan. 6 insurrection’ lie; the ‘Ukraine’ lie; the ‘fair and honest election’ lie; the ‘wind turbines* are good’ lie’; the ‘electric vehicles are good’ lie; the ‘Socialism is good’ lie; the ‘trans’ lie; and whatever the ‘Deep State via the Fake News and the government puts out’ lies’. There are others, but I understand that you have a time constraint. Wait, I forgot one: the Jan. 6 footage of the ‘peaceful protesters not on a rampage and not beating to death a policeman’ is not a lie; it’s the truth. Take that, Chuck Schumer** and answer me this: when did the truth become a lie? How about standing on the floor of the Senate and see if you can explain the First Amendment away.”
“And that’s all the time we have. It’s not politically correct to say the word ‘crisis’ although we’re in one. Good reminder to always be armed. Remember that the Constitution has been circumvented by our DA’s and judges, that the criminals have, basically, carte blanche on our women, money, and property, so always protect your family, community and, when the time comes, be prepared to protect your country because it’s looking a little more dire each day, no use sugarcoating it. Okay, that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse’ so, on behalf of Professor Wert, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Wind turbines: They kill birds, okay? Come on, we can’t live without murdering thousands of birds every day? Talk about ‘sustainability’: let’s talk about insanity instead and see which one wins the debate.]
[**Chuck Schumer: You are cordially invited to come on ‘Pulse’ anytime and make your case that Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, was born in Hawaii; show us the BIRTH CERTIFICATE, not the fake one that was posted days prior to LTC Terry Lakin being released from Leavenworth Penitentiary. You may also state your case why you think that Mike Pence certifying fraudulent votes would make Joe Biden the president. You may also explain why you the video of what happened on Jan. 6 at the Capitol scares you so much. What gives, Chuck? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid your kickbacks from China will end if Trump ever gets back in?]
“Take the ‘A’ Train” (2:54)