by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Feb. 21, 2023) — “Jazz Piano” (3:15)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We received a communique from Henry to meet him at a location not far from the airport, in the warehouse district. My, that’s a big building; you sure this is the right address? Well, here goes… Hello, Roving for ‘Pulse.’”
“Oh, yes, please do come on in. If you would go through the door at the end of the hall and up the stairs, Henry will be right with you.”
“Froggy the Gremlin Plunk Your Magic Twanger” (0:14)
“Thank you. Okay, through the door and, what, three flights of stairs? What is this place; smells like hay. Last door. Hey, it’s a room full of elephants. How many are there?”
“Let’s just say many.”
“Oh, you startled us, Henry; didn’t see you. What is this place and why all the elephants?”
“It’s a waystation, and soon these elephants are going to my new home just outside of Cassadaga, FL. These are discarded critters from zoos and circuses and some orphans from Africa whose parents were murdered for the ivory trade. Why our Special Forces can’t go over to Africa and wipe out the poachers has always been a mystery to us frogs and, I hope, to everyone else.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more. Give our troops a chance to do some real good for a change.”
“You don’t think blowing up pipelines isn’t such a good idea?”
“You are one funny frog. So, when you called to say you had an elephant in the room…”
“I know, what can I say; I like elephants.”
“This must cost a bundle.”
“Had you said ‘bale’ I would’ve laughed. No, Professor Zorkophsky is using this as a tax shelter, which is fine by me and, I’m sure, the elephants.”
“That’s nice. I’m sorry but we’ll be right back after this quick commercial break.”
“Shenandoah” (1:21)
“And we’re back with Henry. I see the elephants are numbered; any significance?”
“For sure. Elephant #1 is BRANDON: STOLEN ELECTION; #2 is HARRIS: OPEN BORDERS; 3 is MAYORKAS: HUMAN TRAFFICKING & FENTANYL; 4 is HUNTER: PAYOFFS FROM CHINA.”
“Okay, we get it. So, it’s all about the money.”
“Of course it’s all about the money. Do you think anyone gives a flying hoot about the Constitution these days? You got to be kidding. Why, even the Joint Chiefs of Staff demanded that all the troops be vaxxed and soon keel over dead from myocarditis. The scheme was to use tax dollars to pay for the research to kill Americans and steal the election, which is why they orchestrated the make-believe ‘pandemic.’ Most of the time they called it the flu season. Trump bought into it because he believed what they were telling him.’
“You didn’t?”
“I’m a frog and I was in the Navy, so I figured it out long ago. Think back to ‘voter ID’ and you’ll get the picture, or just read the editorials in The P&E. Not hard; got to get your information from somewhere, so why not go to the source?”
“Good point.”
“Other places of truth are Judicial Watch, Breitbart,The Gateway Pundit, Geller Report, and ACT for America. There are others, too.”
“Do your elephants do any tricks?”
“Yes, matter of fact: they vote. No, seriously. They’re all registered; they use my house as their address.”
“Do any of your elephants speak English?”
“Well, one is from India, but the accent is so think she needs subtitles, just as all movies from England should be required to have, at least those distributed in America.”
“We couldn’t agree with you more. What is that contraption over there in the corner?”
“It’s what I call my speech-maker. It’s modeled after that pie and cake display on the counter at the drugstore in Iowa, remember?”
“I remember; very effective.”
“Yes, my sentiment exactly, so I had one made in a colossi-gargantuan-jumbo size out of plexiglass, 12 feet tall with corresponding plastic pies, cakes, and donuts. What do you think — pretty neat, eh?”
“Very. I like it. Let’s pause for a message from our sponsors.”
“Son of a Preacher Man” (3:44)
“And we’re back. So, you stand above the crowd when you give your campaign speeches on your cake and pie display. Very clever; I tip my hat to you.”
“Thank you.”
“So I take it you’ve made up your mind to run, is that right?”
“Yes, but what I think would be best for the country is that I become Trump’s VP, maybe Secretary of State but, at the very least, Secretary of Defense, for sure.”
“So, no president?”
“Maybe probably not. Have to face reality sometime. Imagine a stolen election resulting in WWIII?”
“Yes, I do, only because the level of incompetency of this administration. Biden should turn over the reins of the presidency to Trump, but Biden doesn’t have one scintilla of truthfulness or honor in his being, not a trace, so it’ll never happen. Pigs will fly before Biden finally gets it, and then it’ll be too late, if he ever does get it, which he most likely never will. Let’s face it, Biden is an unmitigated disaster and it’s getting worse by the day. Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, nothing but cesspools of sanctuary refuse heaps of discarded humanity surviving without hope, just animal day-by-day survival, living among the rats so that the humans and the rats become indistinguishable from one another, preying on the weak, pouncing on the helpless.”
“Gavin Newsom and Lori Lightfoot come to mind, worthless individuals, the equivalent of what they represent: masters at gaming the system, taking but never contributing, believing that spending other people’s money will solve insolvable problems by using the same failed tactics year after year after year. Generations of ignoramuses who can’t read, can’t speak, and can’t do sums but can vote for more of the same. Let’s hear it for the Teachers’ Union as long as we’re on the subject. Keep those kids ignorant on history, by all means. Kneel during the anthem; disrespect the Constitution, the only document, the only key any of us have to ever have a chance to reach for the stars.”
“That makes sense.”
“I’ll say one more thing about that. Refusing to take advantage of any beneficial resource is, at best, stupid and, at worst, counterproductive, and there’s no better example than the NAZI Party discarding ‘Jewish science.’ Who knows how far the Germans would have gone had they not been so stupid by discarding the winning lottery ticket? Reminds one of another group who discard the contributions of what women can provide. But, face it, you can’t fix stupid; why, look at Mitch McConnell and Ilhan Omar, two who would not be allowed in the lifeboat. Sorry, you had your chance to be compassionate human beings, but you blew it. I’m serious: we’re not letting you in our lifeboat.”
“Really, now, who is the elephant in the room?”
“Why, that would be the ‘Big Guy,’ elephant #1, Joe Biden.”
“And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. Let’s review: Henry made himself a podium that duplicates a pie and cake display that you’d find on a luncheonette counter, except his is ten feet tall; we learned that the elephant in the room is probably the most dangerous person in the world for the harm that he has done and the harm he will do unless, apparently, pigs fly. And so, on behalf of Henry, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. An elephant sanctuary. Oh, was that Madam Shylock? She just dropped off some fresh flies for Henry? That was nice of her. Burger time for the crew and me: my treat.”
[Note: Be safe by being armed. Protect yourself, your family, home and community.]
“Gypsy Woman” (2:36)