by Roving Reporter, ©2023

(Jan. 20, 2023) — “Sweet Georgia Brown” (4:17)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest has always been a favorite of ours, Chief New Leaf. I understand that the Chief has donated the use of his RV for Henry’s campaign which I thought was pretty darn nice of him. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“And so very glad to be back, Roving. I must say, Henry is one go-getter; seems to never need sleep. Amazing. And speaking of the little devil, here he is. I thought you said you were tired and needed a nap.”

“Not while the world is going to you-know-where in a handbasket. I want to say that the whole world is being played. People like Biden and the Prime Ministers of Canada, Australia and everywhere else are just puppets whose strings are being pulled by those who are really in power. Think of the works by Kafka, in example, ‘The Trial,’ and you’ll get the picture.

“To start, I take it we all know what their end game is: destroy the middle class, right? Vote Democrat, cry for Hillary and get shot-up-boosted and die. But not for me, and if you’ll vote for me, you’ll be votin’ for yourself and not for the crooks.

“And here’s another thing: all these billions gone ‘missing?’ Why, not one penny is ‘missing.’ Every penny is accounted for in the bank accounts of McConnell, Schumer, and the rest of the gang, including all those Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, paid off in his so-called ‘Stimulus Package’: you know, as meaningless as the ‘Inflation Reduction Act.’ Think ‘Ozone Hole’ and ‘Climate Change.’ All they are is just sleight-of-hand antics to fool the gullible and bewildered: don’t be one of them and vote for me, Henry.

“Yes, I see your point. We’ll pause for a quick commercial break.”

“Ask Me” (2:16)

“Remember when Obamacare first came on the scene, ‘Keep your doctor?’ and the hundreds of millions to get the website up and running? All payoff money is what it was. Any halfway competent computer programmer could’ve achieved the exact same results for less than $10 million, believe me. Theft right out in the open on primetime news.”

“What about the Muslims?”

“China has the permanent solution, same one they used on their drug dealers.”

“What about pollution?”

“Look to China: they ignore everything. Look, they’re not smart, just stupid, cruel people in charge, for now; ‘prima donnas,’ strutting around just as Mussolini used to do.”

“They hung Mussolini, didn’t they?”

“A just reward for tyrants, I’d say.”

“One way to fight China is to boycott them. If every country would put its pocketbook where its mouth is, well, I think China’s human rights and pollution warrant the world’s immediate circumspection, right? Of course, I’m right. Target the CCP in every way possible and do it now, starting today. Imagine, our government greased without Chinese kickbacks, payoffs, and bribes, but with such a thing called patriotism.”

“Fat chance.”

“But, even though highly unlikely, possible.”

“True.”

“Expect the worst while hoping for the best.”

“Always a safe bet.”

“Is it possible to ever hear the truth from the Biden Administration?”

“Never happen. And speaking of ‘never,’ if we would boycott flying maybe the government wouldn’t push the ‘Clot Shotand the stupid masks that don’t work.”

“Fat chance. Just like a deposit on plastic bottles and returning used oil from an engine in order to buy new oil. Never happen. You see, bottom line is that people just don’t want to be inconvenienced.”

“You have an opinion on everything, don’t you?”

“A president must be well-informed. Germany is lost, so, too, England, and the Swedes don’t know it yet. Canada is going down fast and we’re on the horizon of ‘once was’ unless we act instead of talk about it.”

“Give us an example, if you would.”

“Okay, close the border. Sure, sounds good, but what sounds even better is kick them O-U-T, every one of them, including the DACA invaders. And while we’re at it, take the NGO’s who are aiding the invasion and send them to the Taliban or somewhere and make them disappear forever and ever.”

“Do you think Trump will fix it all?”

“Will he name a Secretary of Defense who knows a thing or two? Think about it. I guess that answers your question. I’m not saying one word about the ACLU except they used to be Constitutionalists but now all they are is a bunch of Communist dogs, nothing against dogs.

“And here I would like to interject an observation, if I may.”

“Go ahead after this short break.”

Waltz in A Flat Major Op.39 No. 15” (2:00)

“When my great-great-great-great-grandfather was growing up in Chicago, there was not one homeless frog or human. There were no humans living in cardboard boxes. There was no human waste on the sidewalks and needles in the parks where little kids and dogs played. If you were a vagrant, you were arrested or run out of town. There were no hobo villages downtown, no ‘Occupy Wall Street.’ I have a framed photograph of tents on Wall Street under a sign that reads, ‘NO OVERNIGHT PARKING’ with two of New York City’s finest in the background, leaning against a building.”

“The ‘woke’ generation.”

“Yes, indeed: the homeless and lazy; the ‘can’t-speak-the-language’ and ‘Affirmative Action’ junkies; the ‘I went to Harvard where they accept liars’ and ‘I graduated from the  University of Michigan where they lowered the standards so I could graduates.’ Understood?”

“Where, in your opinion, is today’s ‘Ground Zero?’

“No question about it: Arizona. If Katie Hobbs is allowed to be the governor, then Trump or no Trump in 2024 won’t mean a hill of beans. End of story. Georgia is ripe with voter corruption, as are the other ‘Blue Cesspools.’ End of story. End of America unless we take the bull by the horns and stop blabbing about it and do to them what they are doing to us.”

“Thank you both for stopping by and being part of the family of ‘Pulse.’

“Croak. Oh, sorry, I meant to say, ‘Thank you for having us.’ One last point: this wild talk about ‘reparations.’ What about a fine for being stupid which ought to even it out.”

“Good way to end this episode of Pulse.’ And a hearty goodnight to you all: Goodnight.

“Good show. Fresh flies for the frog and burgers: my treat.”

Slightly Hung Over” (4:48)

Roving Reporter

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