by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Oct. 20, 2022) — “For You Blue” (2:32)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Stand by for what I think will be an eye-opening interview with the ‘Unused Window World Record Holder,’ Miss Gertrude McGillicutty from Ireland. First off, thank you for agreeing to be interviewed on ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“And thank you for having me, Roving. ‘Pulse’ is a big hit in my country, but I couldn’t even find it listed in my hotel room. Why is that?”

“Search me. So, you’re listed as a World Record holder; what’s that all about?”

“My dear old Dad taught me – he died, you know; SADS — to excel at something, doesn’t make any difference what, but to stand out somehow, so I chose ‘windows.’

“Windows? Look, I’m afraid to ask and I just know I’m going to regret it, but what about windows?”

“Easy as pie: just don’t use them. Listen: when I moved in to my new house I had all the windows boarded-up, see?”

“If that was a pun we’re allowed to shoot people, right here on ‘Pulse’; did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t know that, and it wasn’t meant to be a pun anyway, so there. Now, as I was saying, if you don’t use a window that window isn’t used, understand? So, when I moved in to my new house, I had all the windows boarded-up, inside and out, and since then I can attest to ‘un-used windows, as-new condition.’ Understand?”

“Not a chance, lady. You mean to tell me you got some kind of recognition for ‘not looking out your windows?’ Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Not ‘trying,’ Roving; I said it.”

“And that’s what scares me. I’m armed and willing to protect myself from the nuts of the world. Fair warning.”

“Fair enough. Wait, put that away. In addition to having pristine windows, I also never got the ‘Clot Shot,’ don’t wear a mask, and don’t believe there was any ‘insurrection’ unless it was Mr. Judas himself, VP Mike Pence backstabbing his boss and us at the same time. Nice going, Mike, you Judas. I’ve said enough so I must run.”

“We’ll be right back after this short intermission.”

Blue Hawaii” (2:33)

“I thought you were leaving.”

“I was but I remembered I got more to say.”

“Such as?”

“Look, everyone knows the so-called insurrection of Jan. 6 was a government sting operation and there’s nothing more to it, unless you want to talk about government employees violating their Oath to the Constitution.”

“That’s understood.”

“But what isn’t understood is this next election. Forget money: there’s just two competing ideas, and that’s it: Third World status or not. Dem = Third World; Republican = Third World; MAGA = USA. Now I’m leaving and thank you for allowing me to be on y0ur most popular show.”

“You’re quite welcome, I’m sure. We’ll be right back.”

“And not one more billion to the Biden Crime Syndicate.”

“Explain, please.”

“Kickbacks to Biden via Ukraine, and then Biden spreads out the crumbs to the politicians who voted for the ‘Aid to Ukraine.’ Now I leave.”

“We’ll be right back after this short message.”

Blue Velvet” (2:48)

“I thought you left.”

“I did, but I have one more thing to say.”

“Go on.”

“Well, it’s like this: they keep on pushing the so-called ‘vaccine’ and boosters when we all know it doesn’t do a darn thing except maim and kill, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, if we all know it’s nothing but a big lie, why are they doing it? Why is this corrupt Biden Administration kicking a dead horse?”

“One word: power.”

“Right. And this Ukraine thing, kickbacks, and death.”

“Reminds me of Vietnam and Afghanistan: death for the innocent and money for the corrupt. And look at what Australia and New Zealand have become, in the footsteps of the Führer, for cryin’ out loud. Now I can leave.”

“We’ll be right back.”

Don’t It Makes My Brown Eyes Blue” (2:31)

“I thought you left.”

“Almost. One last subject: I want to mention: crime. The criminals have guns, but they don’t want the honest law-abiding citizen to have guns, right?”

“Right.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re crooks themselves?”

“That’s right: the cops who inflate the price of drugs or the drug dealers for changing what they charge, if that makes any sense.”

“It does. So, you’re saying that the cops set the price of drugs?”

“You just won yourself a gold star and now I’m outta here. And thanks for letting me spout. Bye.”

“For good?”

“I’m already out the door.”

“And so are we after this last thought: if the shot mandate passes for kids, will the politicians be arrested for child abuse? Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Blue Moon” (2:13)

Roving Reporter

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