by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Oct. 11, 2022) — “Something” (3:02)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest runs some sort of summer camp up in the Adirondacks, a location we are all familiar with since that’s where the ‘Little People’ come from. Your name is… Am I reading this correctly, Hernán Cortéz? For real?”
“I had it changed.”
“From what?”
“Charlie Fry.”
“But why?”
“All my life I had a dream of being some sort of ruler, so after I started my summer camp, I changed it and it was the best thing I ever did. My business expanded to year-round.”
“Okay, I can go with that. I understand the summer part, swimming and hiking — outdoors stuff, but what about the other seasons?”
“In the autumn we have the ‘Will you just look at that’ (tree watching); ice skating and igloo building in the winter; and spring introduces gardening techniques.”
“Wow, I had no idea. Any particular niche you want to tell us about?”
“Interesting that you should ask that, because the straight answer is yes, we do have a hidden agenda. You see, when the guests arrive, they’re given a test and if they fail, well, then we resort to a sort of ‘Boot Camp’ curriculum.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Let’s take the last couple of years, for example. If anyone shows up wearing a mask, they go to the left fork, the barbed wire section with the Quonset huts; all the others go to the quaint little log cabins.”
“Could you be a little bit more specific?”
“Do you want me to spell it out for you? Dems, the stupid Dems go to Boot Camp to get their mind straight. My God, man, we have a chance to save them, so we at least try. Many turn around and try to escape, but once in, the only way out is to get the brain ‘deprogrammed’ so they at least act like halfway normal human beings and not some crazed robot that believes in the ‘Clot Shot’ and all the other ridiculous nonsense that the Deep State is trying to push down our throats.”
“And they all, what, pass some sort of test to get out of your barbed wire compound?”
“Well, now, some cases are too far gone to be able to be put straight. You have what we call your ‘Over-the-Edge Liz Cheneys’: those are helpless, as are the ‘P&Ps’: that would be your Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi idiots.”
“Please excuse us while we take a short break.”
“Cowboy Music” (1:29)
“And we’re back talking to the camp director. So some can just leave?”
“Only if they pass this test: ‘Please answer: what is preferable, to be the captain of your destiny or to let others choose for you? Or, for the really slow learners: If you touch a hot burner, will it hurt? We actually have a hot burner at the gatehouse and if they answer ‘No,’ they have to touch the burner and not show any discomfort, then they can go.”
“That almost seems like some sort of kidnapping.”
“No doubt.”
“And you get away with it?”
“Sure, because once they learn how to think on their own, they don’t want to go back. We like to call it, ‘From a Sheep to a Shepherd’ brainwash.”
“No kidding? And it works?”
“As I said, some are just too far gone and those we kick out, say about half.”
“You mean to say that half the Dems are lost forever?”
“I’m afraid so; helpless and hopeless. CNN addicts; Mainstream Media junkies; ‘Clot Shotters.’ Oh, by the way, we don’t accept anyone who got the ‘COVID-NOT-A-VACCINE’ shot.”
“I’m afraid we’ve run out of time. You’ve been a wonderful guest and so, on behalf of Mr. Cortéz, this is you Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. I like the burner bit: ‘If you vote Dem, you’ll get burnt.’ Burger time: my treat.”
“Heart of the Country” (2:23)
Roving Reporter