by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Jul. 11, 2022) — “Sarabande Piano Version: Suite No. 4 in D Minor” (3:56)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Tonight’s guest is Jackie Mead, the head of the ‘Department of Billeting the Unwanteds.’ I don’t know about you, but that seems a little too ominous for me. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ Miss Mead. Now, if you would, please tell us about this new department; I, for one, never heard of it. What’s it all about?”
“Where you been, Roving? We’ve imported millions since Obama, plus, for the last year and a half, we’ve had another 10 million come across our southern border. Well, guess what? They got to live somewhere and before we can build them concrete monstrosities, every empty bedroom in our country will no longer be empty.”
“No way.”
“Listen: during the 2010 census, each house in the United States was visited by a census worker and GPS pinpointed at the front door, so we know how many people are in that house, and through tax records we know how many bedrooms.”
“And, you what, are going to force people to take in strangers?”
“Think of it as ‘new citizens needing a helping hand,’ if you want.”
“Well, speaking for myself, I don’t want. You know what I think? I think it smells a little too much of Amendment III of the Constitution: ‘No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner…’ Well, I have a couple of empty bedrooms and I’m not giving my consent, understand?”
“Biden will write an ‘Executive Order’ and some federal judge will declare it all legal-like, so there.”
“I don’t think so; I think all the Muslims and the illegal invaders need to get out of here.”
“Well, you’re not the president, Mr. Roving Reporter.”
“Okay, here’s the deal. I have my Constitutional right to protect my home and family and I will, so take that.”
“Well, then, I guess we’ll have to take your guns.”
“How, how will you take my guns? You going to send scared police, from Columbine, Colorado; Parkland, Florida, to Uvalde, Texas, to come and take them so I’m defenseless from home invasion? Is that the future of America?”
“That’s about it. I suggest you get used to doing what you’re told to do.”
“You mean to take the ‘Clot Shot?’ No way, and masks don’t work. I’m sorry, but this interview is over.”
“You ought to reconsider your position: you don’t have one. You better start paying attention to what’s happening in the rest of the world, like the invasions taking place. Biden sold out to the Chinese, so get used to it. We won; you lost.”
“I’m sorry to hear you say something so stupid: we all lost, the whole world lost, all those who died for freedom lost, and you lost as much as I did. The only difference is I know it and you don’t. I’d like to be there when it finally dawns on you that you’ve been had. Anyway, thank you for being on ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. And now is the time when, on behalf of our guest, Jackie Mead, this is your Roving Reporting wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Some show, eh? Burger time: my treat.”
“Blue Tarp Blues” (4:39)
Roving Reporter