by Roving Reporter, ©2022

Wokipedia, public domain

(Jun. 15, 2022) — “Uncle Albert” (4:46)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our first guest has a rather interesting story, so let’s start by introducing Jay, a professional projectionist from our nation’s capital.”

“Thank you for having me on your show, the most-watched information show in its time slot. My story is I got this call to bring over a couple of ‘mule’ tapes to the auditorium in the FBI building.”

“Excuse me for interrupting, but what’s a ‘mule tape?’ Is that what 2000 Mules is called these days?”

“No, not at all. They are tapes of the Borax 20 Mule Team TV show. So, as I was saying, I bring these tapes over to the FBI building and there’s only one person in the auditorium, so I run the tapes, little over an hour’s-worth. And that’s it.”

“Didn’t that strike you as just a little bit strange?”

“You bet it did, and I asked someone about it. They said it’ll give that audience of one — turns out it was William Barr, the former Attorney General — what they call ‘deniability,’ believe it or not.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. They said now Barr can answer truthfully about seeing a ‘mule’ movie and then say that he saw no fraud of an election.”

“But he wouldn’t see any fraud of an election; it’s a TV show about the Wild West back in the 1800’s, for cryin’ out loud.”

“And that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Fake News here; Fake News there. Look, any darn fool knows that ‘2000 Mules’ showed enough evidence to hang a horse, for goodness’ sake. You got to be dumb beyond belief not to realize that the whole movie is composed of the government’s own tapes. Come on, now, enough is enough. What do they want, an engraved invitation? If anyone doesn’t know by now that the Dems cheated, then that person must be as brainless as a rusty nail in a barn door, maybe somewhere in Wyoming, maybe Liz Cheney.”

“Maybe Barr is that dumb, I mean as dumb as Cheney; almost as dumb.”

“Could be; I mean, one would think after being in Washington for as long as he has, he’d learn by now to keep his mouth shut.”

“Good point. Thanks for being on the show. Let’s take a commercial break; be right back.”

Moody River” (2:41)

“And we’re back. So, it looks as if Barr is really pretty stupid, after all. A real swamp critter, that Barr. Our next guest needs no introduction because it’s our own resident shrink, Professor Zorkophsky. Welcome aboard, Professor.”

“Glad to be here but, if you would, please, call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.”

“Then ‘Zork’ it shall be. I understand you’re writing a screenplay. What’s this one about?”

“It’s Franz Kafka’s The Trial,’ but circa 2022. I’m using the same story line, which just so happens to coincide with the Dems’ ‘Dog and Pony Show’ so-called insurrection trial.’ Matter of fact, I took the stage setting from the one the Dems are using now, an exact copy.”

“You say ‘circa 2022’; does this mean that you’re going to be using real names?”

“Not only real names, Roving, but real facts as well. Unlike the soap opera conducted by Liz Cheney, where only fake, incomplete and damaging so-called evidence is presented, my production will have just the facts; nothing added or subtracted. Interestingly, some of the footage is of actual Soviet trial settings to show the audience that the difference between Cheney and Russia is negligible, seeing how both deal in lies.”

“So, you’re the screenwriter. Who is the producer?”

“I am, I’m proud to say. We’re still looking for a director and the lead actor, which isn’t as easy as it once was. First off, they must be rational people and not suffer from any sort of syndrome, which happens to be pretty prevalent these days.”

“You mean like ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome?’

“And any of the others, like ‘Hate America and her Constitution Syndrome.’ They’re out there, but even if they’re not, they’re afraid to admit it for fear of being ‘blackballed.’ It feels just like the McCarthy Hearings back in the ’50’s. We’ll figure it out.”

“Really, now, how close is the story line between the book and today’s reality?”

“I’ll tell you this: the similarities are amazing, which should scare the pants off of anyone. I may film it in black and white; I haven’t made up my mind on that point yet. Maybe the characters who are truthful will be in color, the rest in black and white.”

“Sounds like a worthwhile project. What’s the main objective?”

“Good question. The main objective is that when you have marginal people in power, the havoc they can cause is quite extraordinary. Why, just look at Biden: in less than a year he has managed to cause worldwide panic, destruction, and death. He has managed to take a country that was an energy exporter to one that is an energy importer, overnight. The Dems talk about ‘weapons of war,’ but they fail to look at today’s black market in real weapons of war. If we can figure it out, how come the politicians in Washington can’t?”

“A question for the ages, I’m sure. And with that, on behalf of Zork, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: Targets of opportunity designated, or so I’ve been informed.]

Still the One” (3:48)

Roving Reporter  

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