by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(May 12, 2022) — “You Cheated” (2:24)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky is back with us with, what, a book or a play?”

“Neither, because it’s a screenplay. That’s right; I’m going to Hollywood, not physically, mind you, but in spirit, just as I was at our nation’s capital on Jan. 6*, in spirit, protesting VP Mike Pence’s backstabbing our president and our nation, which makes Pence a real 21st century Judas.”

“So you wrote a screenplay; are you going to produce it, too?”

“Not only am I going to produce it, but I’ll also be the director. I shall demand complete cooperation and silence when called for. It’ll be a movie as popular as ‘It’s a Wonderful Life,’ I’m sure of it.”

“What will be the name of the movie?”

“The working title is, ‘The Definitive IQ test for Biden,’ but don’t hold me to it.”

“We won’t. Can you tell us what’s on the test, maybe tell us a few of the questions?”

“Here’s one: If the price of a gallon of gas was less than $2 when Trump was president and now it is more than double that, is that Trump’s fault or Biden’s?”

“That’s a good one. Another?”

“Can you tell us which is correct: A vaccine prevents whatever it is intended to prevent or causes teenagers to die of heart attacks?”

“Any questions about China and Ukraine?”

“A couple. Here’s one: Answer T or F: Trump never took one bribe, but Biden took multiple bribes from China.”

“That’s a good one.”

“Getting back to the CDC: When you got those shots staged for the TV, were they:

      a: Vitamin B-12 shot

      b: COVID ‘Clot Shot’

And the follow-up question is: Ivermectin worked: did you:

     a: make Ivermectin available

     b: try and make Ivermectin impossible to get”

“I like it. So, what is it, a mystery, drama?”

“Neither: it’s a comedy.”

“Doesn’t sound very funny to me.”

“Oh, but it is. We supplement it all through with a laugh track of Kamala Harris’s cackling.”

“How long will the screenplay be?”

“Forty-five minutes.”

“I’ll tell you this: no way could I stand to listen to Harris’s cackling for over a minute, let alone 45.”

“Good point; I’ll make a note of it: ‘no Harris cackling.’

“Still doesn’t sound so funny.”

“Then how about this one: Which one is correct: Biden is the president of Delaware or Delaware doesn’t have a president?”

“I like that one.”

“If someone is in Ohio, do they say they are in Indiana or in Ohio?”

“Your questions seem to get a lot tougher.”

“There are two babies: one is an American citizen and one is an illegal immigrant and there is only enough baby formula to feed one. Which one gets fed?”

“Any more?”

“Do we care more about Ukraine’s border or our own?”

“Another tough one. What about the Fed?”

“Should the Fed be subjected to a public audit?”

“And you expect Biden to know what you’re even talking about?”

“Truthfully? No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Then how about any concern of Iran getting a nuke, maybe buying an ICBM from North Korea?”

“Too complicated.”

“Any questions about the ‘laptop from hell?’”

“Again, too complicated. Look, give the mentally unhinged old man a chance; I mean, let’s get real. If the cognitively-impaired doesn’t have a clue what the question is about, how do you expect him to answer it? After all, we want the movie to be as realistic as possible.”

“But it’s an IQ test, for goodness sake. He’s supposed to know about current events.”

“Not Joe; are you kidding? Look, let me tell you a few more of the questions. Here’s one you might like: T or F: The Biden family benefited monetarily from Joe being in politics.”

“I guess you’ve covered every subject that is affecting the American people in every possible way.”

“That’s true and I think we’ve just about covered everything, so I guess I’m done here.”

“That sounds like a pretty good idea and with that, on behalf of Zork, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Jan. 6: A date that will live in infamy. On that date, VP Mike Pence certified enough fraudulent votes to make Biden president, thereby stabbing President Trump and the American people right through the heart. That’s what the peaceful protest was all about, Biden stealing the election. Never, in the history of the United States of America, from Benedict Arnold and all the spies and traitors since, has America (and, consequently, the world) suffered more and paid a higher price than from the actions of our very own Judas, Mike Pence.]

[Note: This author believes that everyone who had a hand in the fraudulent election should suffer the same fate as Benedict Arnold.]

The Thrill is Gone” (3:47)

Roving Reporter

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