by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021

(Jul. 18, 2021) — “Tchaikovsky Valse sentimentale” (1:58)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we’re at Madam Shylock’s ‘Fortune-Telling Emporium’ in Cassadaga, Florida, to ask her about this fraudulent election. So, any thoughts?”

“You get what you pay for, just like everywhere else. You want justice; you have to pay for it. You want a lot of justice; it’ll cost more. I prefer new, crisp twenties, without the drug residue, if you don’t mind. On the table, please. Thank you. Now, I’ll tell you what you want to know and if you want to know more you’ll just have to fork it up, although I’m leaning towards payment in silver or gold only in the near future.”

“I’d like to know the secret code to unlock the election fraud.”

“That will cost you one ounce of gold.”

“But I thought you said you’ll be collecting payment in gold in the future.”

“So I did and the future is now. Look, Zork, the past was yesterday and the future is now.”

“You mean there is no present?”

“Only the moment you die; any other time, the here-and-now is the future. Live with it.”

“Okay, fair enough. Here is a real-life American Eagle.”

“Thank you. Now, listen up: if you say the words Ba Ram You’ to a traitor they have to tell the truth.”

“What’s a ‘traitor?’

“A traitor is a Mike Pence; a Romney; a Hillary; a Dem and Obot; a Brennan and a Pelosi; a ‘Morning Joe’ and a Rachel Maddow; a Hillary and a Kerry; a BLM supporter and a Chamber of Commerce member; a card-carrying Teacher’s Union idiot and a mask-wearer driving in a car alone.”

“Oh.”

“So your money bought the secret password, okay? All you have to do is to get one of the cheats on the stand and ask him or her, ‘How much did you cheat and lie about the election?’ and then say the magic words: ‘Sheep be true. Baa Ram Ewe.’”

“What happens then?”

“They tell you how they cheated the American people, that they don’t give a hoot about the Constitution, and what snakes they really are when they’re forced to tell the truth. So, do you think you got your money’s worth?”

“Undoubtedly, and thank you. Seen Henry lately?”

“Stopped by for breakfast; fresh fly and a June Bug or two.”

“Well I guess that’ll do it and so, on behalf of Madam Shylock, this is Zork wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Fortune Teller” (2:51)

Professor “Trash the masks” Zorkophsky

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