by Chief New Leaf, ©2021

(Jun. 8, 2021) — “Highway Patrol Theme Song” (0:43)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I got on I-95 and headed south and ended up at Madam Shylocks Fortune-Telling Emporium,’ right across the street from the pond in Cassadaga, FL. And there she is, but without the fancy robe with the embroidered stars. Hello, Madam Shylock, taking the day off?”

“I expected you, Chief, but not the camera crew. No matter; I’ll put it on when we go into the crystal ball room. Come this way, please, after you pay up-front: usual fee. No, just twenties, please. Thank you. We all seated? Care for some water? Okay; ask away, if you want to waste time: I know of your question.”

“So what’s the answer?”

“’Nobody listens.’”

“That’s it? ‘Nobody listens?’”

“Nobody listens. You tell them; you offer proof; you give examples and they still don’t listen. You even give them the enemy’s attack plans and they don’t even look at them. You sound as if you’re a broken record so they close their ears, eyes and minds*.”

“Even if their modus operandi spans 1,400 years without change? They take over and that’s it, and they take over the same way every time: they enter, they demand, they conquer and once in power, there is no redress; no way out; toast.”

“Look, I’m amazed as much as you. Look at what happened to FOX NEWS, and the same thing is happening to the other conservative shows who are saying Trump lost/Biden won: the Deep State rules, not by facts, but by manipulating emotions. Admitting our election process is flawed would be to lay bare the accusations that Biden is a liar.”

“Look, Chief, I think you need to ask your question to the man who would know the inner working of the human brain, which is none other then Professor Zorkophsky.”

“Why don’t you just call him?”

“Sure, why not, as long as you’re paying.”

“Okay, the editor is paying for it anyway. Excuse us while we take a break.”

Be My Baby” (2:58)

“Hello, you’ve reached the desk of the eminent scholar and bestselling author of armchair psychiatry textbooks, Professor Zorkophsky. I am also an expert on PTSD nutty behavior, especially since I’m one of the afflicted ones. Please leave a message after the beep.”

“This is Madam Shylock with the Chief…”

“Hello, hello. Sorry about that, but I get a lot of unsolicited calls that drive me crazy; the one I dislike the most is about my car ‘being out of warranty.’ Let me tell you, my car is so old that it didn’t have a warranty to begin with, for cryin’ out loud. The payday loans ones are a close second. Hello, Chief and Madam Shylock. Now, how may I be of assistance?”

“After this short break.”

It’s Not Unusual” (1:59)

“Why do people ignore warning signs, I mean, real life-and-death warning signs?”

“I call it the ‘Ostrich-Coping Mechanism,’ which just happens to be the title of a bestselling book I wrote a few years ago that was made into ‘The Movie of the Week,’ by the way. It’s how some of us retain our belief system, no matter how warped and wrong it may be, such as the Dems’ hesitation to at least act curious as to whether the election was a massive fraud or not. You’d think they’d be interested, wouldn’t you? I know I would; I mean, what the heck are we paying our bureaucrats for if they can’t even run an honest election?”

“So what’s the verdict?”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly, after this short break.”

Just One Look” (2:40)

“They’re afraid of the truth; that’s all there is to it. Look, they were taught to give the other guy an equal break, but they never came across a situation when the other person despises them for freedoms, as alien as that may sound to us. They want to kill us for our love of Democracy and especially for our ‘freedom of speech.’”

“Why’s that?”

“Because they will not tolerate constructive criticism. Maybe a cold brew on a hot day wouldn’t be so bad, but according to them it would be a sentence of death.”

“But humans have been drinking beer for thousands of years.”

“Yes, and then there’s the double standard between girls and boys: boys can look at girls without being beheaded, but if a girl is caught looking at a boy, she gets honor-killed,’ which is just a fancy term for premeditated murder.”

“But we know all of this, or maybe not.”

“They say ‘It can’t happen here,’ as if 9-11 was an aberration, which it wasn’t. All 9-11 was was a normal day in the life of Islam’s war with the West. Look, somewhere in the world, nonbelievers, especially Christians and Jews, are being led to slaughter on a daily basis.”

“Every day? Don’t they ever take a break?”

“Never. For some reason it bothers them that you think different than they but, since you don’t care what they think, one way or the other, that upsets them; who in the world knows why. I mean, I don’t really care what anyone in Iran thinks about anything, as long as it doesn’t include hurting anybody anywhere, and that’s when I take umbrage.”

“Umbrage?”

“I don’t like it when there’s a bunch of little Hitlers running around loose.”

“So what’s the solution?”

“Broken record, again and again: don’t import: deport.”

“Never happen.”

“That’s right, Trump or no Trump, if you don’t attack the root cause, you’re just treading water.”

“So what’s the score?”

“Islam, ‘46’; Western Civilization, ‘0’.”

“So we’re toast?”

“Not unless Trump gets back in the White House and names me, OR SOMEONE EXACTLY LIKE ME, to be in charge of the Department of Homeland Security. Until then, as I said, all we’re doing is treading water.”

“Until we sink.”

“They sink us; they always do, and unless we put two and two together, what’s the point?”

“Thank you for taking the time to talk with us, Professor, and with that, on behalf of Madam Shylock, we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show, thanks to Zork. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Ears, eyes and minds: I visited the shrine in Nikko, Japan and saw the carvings of the monkeys, and I must say that a trip to Japan isn’t complete until you experience the serenity of the shrine and the grounds. It is truly a mesmerizing experience.]

[The fact of the matter is that every mosque is an armory; every ‘Islamoville’ is a cemetery for honor-kills; every Muslim hates the Constitution, Democracy, Free Speech and you. By the way, the Dems want to abolish the Second Amendment so we’re defenseless. The police will follow illegal orders to confiscate your guns but will not, under any conceivable circumstances, search a Muslim’s person, home or mosque for their guns.]

I’m So Lonesome I could Cry” (2:20)

Chief New Leaf

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