by Madam Shylock, ©2021
(Apr. 18, 2021) — “Once upon a time…”
“Can I have some cookies and milk before you start telling me my bedtime story?”
“Say, ‘May I,’ then I’ll bring you what you requested.”
“Why do you always have to correct me? Can’t I just talks?”
“No, I’m afraid not, and I’ll tell you why. Words have meaning. Take the word ‘talk,’ for instance, a word that is plural by design, like in ‘let’s talk.’ You don’t say, ‘Let’s talks.’”
“But I just did. I just did say the word ‘talks.’ Why, that’s what we’re doing, aren’t we: ‘talkings?’”
“You know, I’m beginning to understand the definition of ‘woke’; it really means to ‘dumbs-down,’ doesn’t it?”
“It’s like ‘Affirmative Action,’ Daddy. It means to ‘dumb-down.’”
“You mean to tell me that the words ‘woke’ and ‘Affirmative Action’ mean the same thing, to ‘dumb down?’”
“That’s right, Daddy, they mean the same thing as the phrase, ‘entitled to.’ Get with it, Daddy. Forget the milk and cookies; I’m tired, so just tell me a short bedtime story, please, without any needless interruptions, if you would, please.”
“Well, since you used the word ‘please’ I guess I’ll have to.”
“I thought you would.”
“Once upon a time…”
“What time is it now?”
“It’s bedtime.”
“Don’t be silly, I know it’s bedtime, that’s why I’m in bed. But what does the big hand and the little hand say?”
“They say half past eight.”
“That’s almost nine. Mommy will be upset with you for keeping me up so late.”
“Not if we don’t tell her.”
“I won’t tell, as long as you tell me my bedtime story.”
“It’s a deal. Now, ‘Once upon a time…’”
“Could you narrow it down a little bit for me? I mean, are there dinosaurs in this story?”
“No, no Tyrannosaurus Rexs in this bedtime story.”
“Why not? I like those ‘Rexs.’”
“’Rexs?’ Why?”
“Because they scare people and make big thumping sounds when they walk. Can you put a ‘Rex’ in the story?”
“What if I said, ‘Once upon a time, long after the Rexs walked the earth…’, will that work?”
“Yes, that’ll work. Will it be Halloween?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because my teacher, Miss Bernard, says that masks make it easier to rob 7-11’s and liquor stores, that’s why. She says that when the police have line-ups it’s a colossal waste of time, for a number of reasons.”
“Tell me one.”
“Because nobody goes to jail much anymore; they’ll just get let loose and come after you. You know you spend more time behind bars for threatening a person with a gun than being convicted of second-degree murder? Six-to-ten for a threat vs. four for murder.”
“Is that what you learn in school?”
“Yes, it’s called ‘Real World Education’; Miss Bernard reads it from a notebook that the School Board makes her read. Now tell me the bedtime story; you were at the ‘Once upon a time’ part.”
“Let me ask you a question before we get back to the bedtime story. Is that notebook that your teacher reads to you, is that associated in any way with being ‘woke?’”
“Yes; she told us to make sure our parents are ‘woke.’”
“You mean to say she wants your Mommy and Daddy to be ‘dumbed-down?’”
“She said, and I quote, ‘As dumb as BLM and ANTIFA nitwits are,’ unquote.”
“No kidding?”
“Cross my heart.”
“So that’s why the kids today are so stupid.”
“Miss Bernard, my teacher, said you would say that and she told us that you better, and I again quote, ‘woke up.’”
“She said that? Not, ‘wake up’ but ‘woke up’; she actually said that?”
“I’m really tired; could we tell the bedtime story tomorrow night?”
“Sure thing, that’s what we’ll do. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
“Sweet dreams.”
“Mommy makes me say my prayers.”
“Okay. ‘Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take, God bless everyone…’”
“Everyone?”
“Well, let’s leave the mean people out.”
“Name some mean people.”
“Biden-Harris, Dems and RINO’s.”
“Are you including zoo animals?”
“If you want to call Congress a zoo, I’m all for it. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
FINI