by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021
(Jan. 29, 2021) — “La Campanella” (6:14)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is the well-known child psychologist, Miss Mary Zimmer. Welcome to the show, Miss Zimmer. What can you tell us about the word ‘despicable’?”
“It’s a fine word and I like it.”
“Ah, that’s nice but could you, maybe like, be a little bit more forthcoming?”
“About what?”
“Like, maybe, the origins of where the word ‘despicable’ came from.”
“Okay. The word is made-up of two distinct and completely separate words, ‘despi’ and ‘cable.’ Let me start with the end and work backwards. We all know about the word, ‘cable’, from ‘cable TV,’ right? But the word ‘despi’ is actually a Greek root that means ‘You or they spy.’”
“Look, maybe I made a mistake on having you on the show. I mean, this sounds a little bit, I hate to say it, but it sounds a little bit ‘bonkers,’ as if you’re off your rocker.”
“Not at all ‘off my rocker,’ as you so succinctly and eloquently put it. Remember at the get-go when Trump said he was being spied-on? Well, it turned out to be true, didn’t it? And remember the years of the Russian Collusion Hoax? There again.”
“Go on.”
“So you put the two together and end up with Obama-Biden spying on Trump, and then Biden-Harris spying on Trump, and then everybody spying on Trump. It got to be that the only people not spying on Trump were Trump and the people who were voting for him.”
“Tell us more about the Greeks.”
“Okay. They made a wooden horse; they made the Parthenon; and they made pi, the number 3.14. But it also can mean eighty. But what it means to us is the spying part: ‘pi’ rhymes with ‘spy.’”
“That makes sense.”
“Yes, doesn’t it, though? Now the ‘des’ part is not from the old Greek language, but from the new ‘South Side Chicago‘ ‘by way of ‘East St. Louis’ from the root ‘dis,’ which is short for ‘disrespect’; see?”
“It all seems to make perfect sense, especially when you explain it so clearly.”
“Well, it’s supposed to; after all, it’s my job.”
“Who pays you?”
“Oh, I work for the county full-time and do this language stuff part-time. Did you know we have 44 paid holidays a year, plus sick time plus vacation time? What that means is that I had plenty of time to further my education so I went to the colleges and universities around me for free, mind you, because the county believes in higher education for their employees, which they paid for.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what kind of work you do for the county?”
“Don’t be afraid. First of all, it is highly disrespectful to accuse a county employee of any kind of ‘work,’ as if we’re nothing but the hired help, like a maid or butler. We are ‘employees,’ is what we are. I’m employed at the airport: I order signs.”
“The blue and green ones?”
“That’s right, the blue and green ones.”
“So who deserves the Grand Prize for being the most despicable person in our country?”
“This is the first year where we had over ONE HUNDRED candidates, I’ll have you know. Usually we have in the 30-50 range, but because there were so many RINOs we had a lot more. Would you like me to list them for you?”
“I’m sorry; we haven’t the time. Who won?”
“No surprise now, is there? It was close with Biden and Harris tied for Second Place and a whole lot of others tied for Third Place, but the one who took home the trophy, for the last THIRTEEN YEARS IN A ROW, was none other than Nancy Pelosi, the most despicable person in the United States.”
“Now that does make sense, finally, for real. Thank you for being on the show. And that’ll do it and so we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. You know, if Biden were a man, a person who had an ounce of integrity, a smidgen of honesty, and a dab of self-worth, he would stand tall and say, ‘People, I made a mistake: Trump is the real president and I’m out of here,’ but he won’t because he isn’t. Burger time: my treat.”
“One Way Out” (4:53)
Professor Zorkophsky