by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021

(Jan. 21, 2021) — “Lullaby” (3:01)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to what is left of ‘The Pulse of the Nation’; from satellite to cable, to shortwave radio to the printed word in The P&E, it’s been a rocky road. We’ve traveled thousands of miles and interviewed thousands of our fellow citizens to culminate in my latest bestseller: ‘Face It: You Can’t Fix Stupid,’ a collaboration with none other than Madam Shylock. And speaking of our very own soothsayer, here she is, Madam Shylock. Did you bring your crystal ball?”

“No need, Zork. Oh, sorry; may I call you ‘Zork’? No, I did not bring any accompaniments or teaching aids; all I have is my saffron fortunetelling robe, as you can see.”

“Very nice. I particularly admire the black cat and witch’s hat.”

“Thank you. I first noticed a steep decline in my clients’ ability to see the world as it really is, when Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, became the usurper president. And then when the Russian Collusion Hoax hit it became another ball game. Talk about going over the deep end.”

“Yes, let’s talk about ‘going over the deep end.’ Why do they do it in the first place?”

“I’ll tell you why: because they never had an original thought in their life and when a new idea comes along that they think they may like (as long as others do), they’ll latch on to it and never let go. Which is why The View has never apologized for the ‘Russian Collusion Hoax,’ the ‘Ukrainian phone call hoax,’ or for the ‘Capitol riot hoax.’”

“Why is that? Wait, excuse me, but we’ve got to throw in this commercial.”

Crow Jane” (1:53)

“We’re back; so, to answer the question…”

“Because the major advantage of being stupid is never having to own up to fabrications and lies. Anything goes.”

“Care to give us an example?”

’We have to pass the Obamacare bill to know what’s in it’ by Pelosi; ‘You can keep your doctor’ by Obama; ‘I blame Benghazi on the video’ by Hillary. Every time the Biden-Harris tag-team opens their mouths, all we get is lies. If they say ‘good,’ you just know it’s bad; if they say ‘Democracy,’ you know China is to blame.”

“You don’t have much respect for Biden-Harris, do you?”

“Let me put it to you this way: it’s late at night, a storm is fast approaching and up ahead I see Trump pulled over on the right and Biden-Harris over on the left with hoods up. I only have enough room for the Trumps or two to whom I wouldn’t even bother to give the time of day.”

“I guess that answers that question. Let me ask you this: when inflation hits, wages drop, crime rises, which will the stupid people blame? Themselves? Biden-Harris?”

“Neither: they’ll blame Trump for everything wrong with their lives. They’ll blame Trump for Biden-Harris falsifying the votes; they’ll blame Trump for picking a weak-kneed vice president*; and they’ll blame Trump when their daughter and wife get sold into slavery or murdered.”

“Now why is that?”

“It’s called ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ a disease that will live in infamy. Buy the book.”

“What about a message of hope?”

“There is none, not for the believers in ‘an honest election,’ the Biden-Harris admirers and the ‘I get to blame Trump for being stupid’ stupids.”

“No hope?”

“You can’t cure the brainwashed except by facts, which they don’t believe in. With them it’s feelings; forget facts.”

“No hope? Won’t they ever get better and realize that Socialism is but a dream born out of a marijuana high, believing that everyone is honest and pulls their own weight?”

“With the ‘Biden Crime Syndicate’ raking in millions off the backs of the American taxpayer? Not a chance.”

“Well, Madam Shylock, I think we piqued our audience’s curiosity to the point where they will surely want to learn more about just how stupid the stupid among us really are and want to go out and buy the book.”

“I hope so too, Zork, although they’ll never believe it.”

“Some will.”

“Yes, some will but all should, and with that we’ll wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“That was pretty good. Burger time: my treat.”

[*weak-kneed vice president: NOT a Christian, that’s for sure. Pence, when it really counted, turned his back on partial-birth abortions. Mike Pence, a traitor, turncoat and a blasphemer.]

Fortune Teller” (2:27)

Professor Zorkophsky   

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  1. One can’t believe anything coming from the media…any media. So much disinformation, fake news pieces meant to trigger reactions from readers. Its all one big lie, fabricated to keep everyone guessing. Its best to ignore and see your news rather than read it…this country is headed for disaster…that is what I SEE!