by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020
(Dec. 23, 2020) — “The Sound of Music” (1:51)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today, via Skype, we’ll be visiting Miss Bernard’s class in Ormond Beach, FL. How are you and the kids doing, Miss Bernard?”
“We’re all doing fine, Professor Zorkophsky. The kids are really excited to be on ‘Pulse.’ We were expecting Roving [Roving Reporter (RR)].”
“Please feel free to call me ‘Zork’; as for Roving, he’s incommunicado; said he needs a rest from it all.”
“Don’t we all? The kids have a bunch of questions for you; first up is Sue. Go ahead, Sue, ask Zork your question.”
“Mr. Zork (laughter), what’s going on with our country? It seems to me that the country is divided into those who drink the ‘Kool Aid,’ served by the Fake News, and those that get their news from real reporters who tell the truth. My parents used to watch FOX but now they watch Chris Salcedo and The War Room. Why can’t other parents be as smart as mine?”
“That was a very thoughtful and well-articulated question, Sue. The answer is pretty simple, and it’s called the ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ which I recently wrote about in a bestseller. If you go on my website, you can buy a copy 10% off list price, as good of a deal as you’re ever going to get. You can also purchase authentic Indian trinkets that are sold under the Chief New Leaf label; and last week we introduced authentic needless knickknacks made by the Little People of the Adirondacks. Next question?”
“If I may ask a follow-up, do those who are bonkers understand that China wants us to be a satellite of theirs?”
“Not a clue. Next.”
“Mr. Zork (laughter), what percentage in Pelosi’s campaign coffer is from China? I heard somewhere that most of the money that the Dems have to spend on their reelections is from China; is this true?”
“Wouldn’t be a bit surprised. Next question, please. Please state you name.”
“Hello, Zork (laughter), my name is Nancy and my question is why are Americans so stupid on maps and history?”
“It so happens that there’s two kinds of history, Nancy, real and revised. School curriculums these days teach the Marxist point of view: no borders and everyone lives in poverty, except the ruling class, as in Venezuela, Cuba and China, to name a few.”
“So everyone wants to be in the ruling class?”
“Yes, that’s right. Those ANTIFA idiots all think that they’ll be the ones to lord it over everyone else; little do they know that the ones pulling their strings now will still be the same ones pulling their strings in a Socialist country. Next question?”
“My name is Jill, Zork (laughter), and I would like to know why traitors such as Pelosi and Schumer haven’t been convicted of treason and aren’t in jail.”
“That’s a question that’s asked by every patriot every day.”
“And I want to ask what in the heck does the Attorney General do besides absolutely nothing?”
“Another excellent question, all from Miss Bernard’s class here in Ormond Beach, Florida. I’ll answer your question after we take this short commercial break.”
“Fool Hearted Memory” (2:39)
“And we’re back to answer a question from Jill who asks how come traitors haven’t been arrested, convicted and incarcerated. The short answer is that most of our judges are craven cowards, afraid of their own shadows. It is rare indeed when a judge doesn’t answer to the District Attorney or the mayor, but perhaps the biggest disappointment was that of our ex-Attorney General, William Barr. Next question.”
“My name is Kathy with a ‘K’ and my question is will Trump drain the swamp or will it be more of the same?”
“As long as slimy low-life swamp creatures are allowed to slither through the halls of Congress, it’ll be more of the same. As long as Pelosi and Schumer are allowed to spew their hatred of the United States, nothing, but nothing, will change, and the next so-called election will be the last. Next question.”
“My name is April, Zork (laughter), and my question is, in your opinion, what is the biggest threat to America today?”
“The biggest threat to us today can be expressed in the equation: Fake News + Ignorance = a lot of really naïve people who believe in the DNC, RNC, BLM and ANTIFA idiots. Next question.”
“My name is Joe, Zork (laughter), so what about the RNC?”
“History is what the Republican Party is these days and the reason why is that there’s just too many RINO’s among them. Remember John McCain; he was a RINO, like Paul Ryan and Chris Christie. What we have now is Trump and everybody else. I’m a Trumpster and proud of it. Our enemies are many who share one despicable trait: they all hate the United States Constitution to its core. Basically, they really are as stupid as they act. I’m sorry, students, but the ‘Pulse’ clock has just run out so l thank you for such an enjoyable question-and-answer period.”
“Goodbye, Zork (laughter).”
“And that’s all the time we have and so, on behalf of the kids and Miss Bernard, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time.”
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” (3:00)