by OPOVV, ©2020
(Nov. 3, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky just wrote another bestseller, so we invited him over to the General’s house to see what the excitement is all about. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ Professor.”
“And thanks for the invite, Roving. Oh, by the way, please call me ‘Zork’; it makes me feel more relaxed and we like relaxed. Matter of fact, that’s what my book is all about.”
“I would say that’s good advice for everyone.”
“For sure, but those in our military are a special breed with special problems that require special therapy, which I, with my unique expertise, provide.”
“Now why would you be any more qualified than any other shrink?”
“Because I myself am a PTSD sufferer, that’s why, so I attack the problem with an expertise born of experience. Simply put, I apply to my patients what I applied to myself.”
“Now that is interesting and you’ll have to tell us after this commercial.”
“We’re back with Professor Zorkophsky, the well-known nut psychiatrist who has written quite a few books on PTSD. By the way, Zork, how many books have you written about PTSD?”
“I think it’s like eight, but don’t quote me.”
“Tell us the gist of your new book, if you will.”
“I recommend writing a letter to yourself explaining yourself (why you’re nuts) and then wait a week, take it out, read it and make amendments, if necessary, which, in all likelihood, will be. But enough about my book; what I want to talk about is stealing votes. Look, this election is the choice between freedom and Communism, between America and the CCP.
“This is the way I see it: I mentally visualize my vote for Trump as being a bullet for good, for America, for the Constitution. And then, if I see a ballot for Trump destroyed — who knows, maybe it was mine – then I see it as a bullet aimed at me and if I don’t take evasive action I’m dead meat. Once upon a time I was in a real disagreement between North Vietnam attempting to overthrow the government of South Vietnam and someone shot at me, so I shot back; I guess I don’t have to tell you who won that fight. Anyway, I just wanted to make it perfectly clear to those who are messing around with Trump votes: do so at your own peril.”
“Well, that’s as fair a warning anyone could expect. Good luck on your new book, and if by writing some kind of log will save even one of our injured military, I say at least give it a try; besides, it’s a lot easier to pick up a pen than a gun.
“And now we have a surprise for our listeners: I’ve invited Rook Dunkin to give us a salutation to our program on this auspicious election day; take it away, Rook Dunkin.”
“Thank you, Roving, and thank you, Professor ‘call me “Zork” Zorkophsky’ for giving a helping hand to our wounded Veterans. Now let us pray:
Our Father, we beseech You to listen to our prayer. We know we’re not perfect, but at least we try and walk in the footsteps of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We care for our brethren, and for proof we have voted for President Trump to continue his excellent quest to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN (again).
Therefore, if you could extend the GOLDEN RULE to creep into the souls of those who hate, deny and to those who have become infected and inflicted with the malignant TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME; please guide their hand to cast a ballot that will save America and her fundamental CONSTITUTION.
We would like nothing more than our United States truly becoming one of United People by everyone voting for Trump. Now we all know there are always some of us wandering in the wilderness, so to expect 100% of the votes going our way may not be realistic, but it would sure be something if every single vote was for Peace and Posterity.
This we humbly ask in your Name, Amen.”
“Thank you, Rook Dunkin, for such an uplifting prayer and so, on behalf of the Rook and the Professor, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”