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by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: FrankWinkler at Pixabay, License

(Jul. 7, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Hello, this is your Roving Reporter (RR) taking over the reins from Chief New Leaf, who had an interesting discussion with Henry yesterday after the show. And, amazing as it seems, we just happen to have the Chief and Henry here at the studio to make an important announcement. Take it away, Chief.”

“Thank you, Roving, but Henry here is the driving force behind the collaboration so he’ll be the designated mouthpiece; take it away Henry.”

“Thank you, Chief; thank you, Roving; and thank you, ‘Pulse,’ for giving us the opportunity to make the following announcement: we have formed a new political party. The only requirement is the love and respect of our Constitution, and the only initiation is the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance and standing for our National Anthem.”

“I‘d say that just about covers everybody.”

“Dems excepted.”


“Black Lives Matter; Nation of Islam; Muslims; ignorant people; uneducated people who can’t seem to think for themselves; people filled with repatriation delusions; people who have no work ethic; Affirmative Action and DACA losers; those who hate the military and law enforcement; those who accept hype over facts; and those who feel sorry for themselves who have greed on their mind and envy in their heart.”

“Okay, but before you go on, let’s take a commercial break, shall we?”

Rhythm of the Rain” (2:37)

“We’re back live; please continue.”

“So the Georgia governor calls up the National Guard after the fact, after the looting and burning and a child murdered. And the mayors of Chicago and New York City blame everyone and everything on their utter abject failures to protect their citizens: just look at the death toll: if you elect stupid people you have to expect stupid results.”

“That makes sense. So what’s the name of this new political party?”

“We call ourselves the ‘Hopping Mad’ Party because the Chief here is mad as all get-out, and I am, too. To tell the truth, the Chief is about to go on the warpath.  As an accredited Ambassador I am not allowed to take up arms, although I am licensed to give speeches, like I’m doing now.”

“What’s the number one issue on your platform?”

“Reason: like if you don’t think for one New York minute that this ‘Black Lives Matter’ is an unreasonable* scam, better think again. This is where I hand it off to the Chief.”

Chief: “How.”

Roving: “How what?”

Chief: “Just ‘How.’”

Roving: “You mean like ‘Hello?’”

Chief: “Maybe.”

“So you’re the other half of the ‘Hopping Mad’?”

“I’m the last half.”

“Would you mind telling us more about your platform?”

“Just the ‘quite a bit beyond the obvious,’ meaning let’s start with this ‘sanctuary city’ nonsense. Besides, we Indians have a tradition of not welcoming Mexicans; just ask Geronimo. If the United States had a lick of sense they would’ve joined forces with the Apaches, but not much has changed, has it?”

“In what way?”

“That you allow yourselves to be used by people who are using your own laws to do you in, to overthrow your country, but you’re so blind you can’t even see what’s happening right before your eyes. People gather and ten hours later a statue finally topples and your governors and mayors and police just sit around and look the other way.”


“Little kids killed: the minority’s problem-solving method of choice is violence, isn’t it? Night school vs. the bar; staying at home reading a book or hang out; improving oneself or treading water? Choices to be made every day: do drugs or go straight? Feel sorry for yourself or picking yourself up by the bootstraps and making something of yourself. Why, even you got your act together, didn’t you, Roving?”

“Yes, that’s true, once my nightmares ended. So what’s your plan?”

“The plan is to RV around the country and give talks to whomever will listen. We have one scheduled for this weekend for the ‘Mom and Pop’s Hardware Store Owner’s Association’ down in Metropolis, Illinois.”

“That sounds like a pretty sensible plan. Do you have bumper stickers and banners in the works?”

ArtTower, Pixabay, License

“No, not yet, although Henry suggested a bloated picture of him hopping over a city in flames for a T-shirt.”

“Do you think people will take you guys seriously? I mean, not to knock frogs, but one of you is one.”

“Give me a break: as much as people pay attention these days, they won’t think twice about it. I mean, if you want stupid, just look at the kooks out in Hollywood.”

“Point taken. So you are backing Trump 100%?”

“Make that 110%.”

“Well-said; I wish your new party all the success it deserves, and thank you for making the announcement on ‘Pulse.’ Well, that just about does it and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“One heck of a great show, wouldn’t you say? Burger time: my treat.”

[*Unreasonable: All lives matter.]

Mull of Kintyre” (4:28)


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