“GONE BANANAS”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Feb. 21, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that leaves you pleased that you learned something useful. As you can see, we’re back in Professor Zorkophsky’s office to discuss his latest bestseller, ‘The Peter Pan Legacy Flourishing in Hollywood.’ The scuttlebutt is that a movie deal has been signed by some producer in Bollywood; are we hearing that right?”
“Yes; the papers were signed last night and it’ll go into the can by this Christmas season.”
“The ‘can?’”
“Reels of film in metal containers. And before you ask, I’m boycotting Hollywood, USA, until the time when they trash the hype and deal with facts, like responsible adults do.”
“Yes, for some reason the majority of actors seem to find it difficult determining what is real and what is not. It seems as if the more successful one is, the more separated from reality one becomes; isn’t that so, Professor Zorkophsky?”
“The English called such people ‘eccentric,’ even if they are looney as a bat. By the way, Roving, you can call me ‘Zork’ since we’re in my comfortable office. And I want to make a statement before we begin this interview: constructive criticism is not blaspheme, if for no other reason that common sense has to mean something, like punishing the victim for a crime that they had no control over doesn’t make any sense.”
“You mean like if an illegal immigrant runs a red light and T-bones you it’s your fault, you mean like that convoluted warped reasoning?”
“Yes, and that’s really a pretty good example, because in the mind of one from south of the border, flashing yellow means to floor it. It’s a macho thing. But what I was alluding to is that a woman who is a victim of rape should not require ten witnesses and then be found guilty of being the victim, simple as that.”
“So if a woman suffers rape it’s her fault? Excuse us while we throw in a commercial.”
“Let It Be Me” (2:42)
“We’re back live; you can answer now.”
“Yes, for being born a woman.”
“But that’s completely stupid; it would be like blaming the rain that caused the saw that was left outside to rust.”
“You see? That’s what I mean. It’s convoluted reasoning to blame the victim of a crime that they had no control over, like convicting a woman who was carrying her purse of purse-snatching after a thief ran away with it.”
“You got to be kidding me.”
“Try producing multiple witnesses to a rape; try explaining that the wife is not the ‘property’ of the husband to do whatever he wishes to be done to her: beatings, disfigurement, rape and murder.”
“Murder, as in ‘honor killings?’”
“Yes, the phrase ‘honor killing’ replaced ‘premeditated murder’ so us non-believers will accept the lie, the subterfuge, the excuse that allows a male to murder any female at any time for absolutely no reason, anyhow.”
“’Anyhow?’”
“You don’t want to know, but no matter what the method, it’s as torturous and barbaric as their imagination will allow them to be.”
“But why?”
“Simple: it’s how they were raised, as their father was raised and his father was raised. The ‘Wahhabi’ school of thought: no constructive criticism allowed, trapped in the seventh century forever.”
“So a woman surgeon can’t operate on a male?”
“No women surgeons to start with, Roving. And if a woman is drowning, a male lifeguard is not allowed to save her.”
“Why, that’s crazy.”
“Of course it is: it’s how they think. Can’t have strange men (lifeguards) touching the drowning daughter.”
“Nuts.”
“It’s how they were raised, the value system of their way of life. Their values let them murder all people, from non-believers to believers alike: they are an equal opportunity extermination force that tortures and kills the young and old, male and female.”
“But why?”
“Because that’s who they are; it’s what makes a Muslim a Muslim: 1,400 years of killing any constructive criticism in its tracks: behead those who insult Islam, behead those who deliver and administer something as benign as a polio vaccine or teaching all children to read and write and have access to any book ever written.”
“So there’s no libraries in Muslim countries?”
“Caught with a Bible is a death sentence.”
“So much for the free exchange of ideas. Isn’t it telling that Christians allow the Quran to be read but Islamic states deny the Bible? Islamic countries deny equal opportunities to women, and if that isn’t senseless I don’t know what is. It’s as self-defeating as the Nazis denying ‘Jewish Science,’ which turned out to be a good thing, at least for our side.”
“We never would have gotten to the moon without our women contributing.”
“And we won’t be going back without our women.”
”Well-said, Roving. Which leads us into the mind-think of those in Hollywood who are – and there’s no other term, professionally or otherwise – nuts, as in ‘gone bananas.’”
“I’ve never heard that term before, ‘gone bananas.’ Is that a bona fide accepted psychiatric medical term describing a specific human mental condition?”
“Yes, although this is the first time I’ve used it, although I’m sure I’ve seen it in some of the medical texts in my rather extensive library, speaking of which is where my latest gadget is. Care to see it?”
“Sure thing, but first how does all we’ve talked about fit in with the Hollywood crowd who have ‘gone bananas,’ as you described them?”
“The ‘suspension of reality’ is a very real human trait and the more one is removed from the normal everyday existence of your fellow humans, well, you end up like Marilyn Monroe, a person who believed the hype, the lies and the fantasy-world in which she lived; made her so nuts she went bananas. Look, simply put, those Hollywood types don’t have any redeeming characteristics, for if they had they’d be able to think for themselves rather than let their lives be run by talking points. Bottom line: more Americans are off Food Stamps since president Trump was elected.”
”Oh, I agree; you’re talking to the choir. Now let’s go see your latest gadget. Oh, this is a big room, filled with real books, books that haven’t been censored as they are when read off the Internet. And what’s that big round ball in the center of the room? Is that what I think it is, the infamous ANT BALL that was in the university’s gymnasium for the past couple of years?”
“The very one. Pretty neat, don’t you think?”
“I’m speechless; it’s beautiful, really a work of art. But I don’t see any ants.”
“No, no ants; they moved. But look at this: instead of ants, the globe is covered with LED’s that I can program to mimic ant migration, just as Muslims are migrating. Do you see the red lights blinking? Those are the reported Muslim rapes.”
“Why, Germany and Sweden are all red. My gosh, that bad?”
“You’d be surprised at how much is not reported, I guarantee it. And if a Muslim is caught, they ALWAYS make the excuse that some sort of mental illness is to blame, and not the belief system that condones rape and murder.”
”So how does all this tie in with the nuts in Hollywood?”
”First, it just doesn’t pay to hate something from birth until death; I mean, come on, now, you’ve got to grow up at some point. Think about it: are we on the way to Mars and enlightenment or are we regulated to wallow in a sea of hate forever? The choice is clear, at least to my way of thinking.”
“But the Muslims think otherwise?”
“Like I said, ‘constructive criticism.’”
“So the nuts in Hollywood are like the Nazis: believing the lie. Good luck on your new book about the mentally immature* in Hollywood. And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse’ and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*mentally immature: and there’s no better example than Jim Carrey who has demonstrated his ‘gone bananas’ more than adequately to be declared legally nuts.]
“Volare” (2:29)