“IT DOESN’T WORK TWO WAYS”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(Aug. 3, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting episode of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the one place you can be assured of political incorrectness, and if you doubt me then just let me say a marriage is between a man and a woman; anything else is a Civil Union, kind-of like the North and the South after the Civil War. Hello, my name is Roving, your host, and we have a great show planned. The line-up is a few of the contributors of ‘Pulse,’ so what do you say we get right down to it? First up is Madam Shylock via Skype; how do you do?”
“Hello, Roving and viewers. Look, Roving, I thought I made myself clear.”
“The check’s in the mail.”
“Better yet, drop it off at my mother’s and tell her to call me as soon as she gets it. Remember, Roving: cash on the barrel-head.”
“Consider it done. Next in line is Professor Wert, our very own intrepid world traveler. What’s happening, Professor?”
“I’m not going to Hong Kong until they get it straightened out. Look, when China refused to renew the 100-year lease with Great Britain, everyone knew it was just a matter of time before something like this would happen, and now it’s happening. No big surprise: China is a Communist country and the sooner we realize that they’re not our friends the better off we’ll be. Trump’s tariffs are the best thing that has happened since Nixon opened the doors for trade.”
“That was sure a one-sided deal, wasn’t it?”
“That’s right: Coca Cola, Marlboro cigarettes and Boeing Aircraft Company were foaming at the mouth, anticipating billions in profits. Trouble is, the money went the other way. The Chinese simply outsmarted us, that is, until Trump came along.”
“Okay, and thanks. Let’s take a break.”
“Hushabye” (2:36)
“And now we have Henry, Zyklon’s Ambassador. So, what gives, Henry?”
“Isn’t it obvious or do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Be polite, now. I’m afraid you’re going to have to spell it out for us; remember, we have to address the lowest common denominator among our viewers.”
“You mean like Joe Namath and Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
“Yes.”
“Very well. Here are a few vitally important lessons you need to know if you live on the planet Earth.
- If someone says that they’re going to kill you, take them seriously.
- If someone takes the time and makes the effort to write a blueprint – manifesto – of how they plan to conquer you, take them seriously.”
“Well, that was sure succinct. Thank you, Henry. Next is Chief New Leaf. So what do you say, Chief?”
“I say that your Dems are out of it.”
“In what way?”
“Used to be the Republicans and the Democrats would hash out ideas to make America a better and stronger nation. The Dems today are exposing philosophies that are contradictory to America’s ideals. Look, what the heck do you call an invading army? Illegal immigrants.”
“Yes, so Germany invading France in WWII, the Germans were the illegal immigrants.”
“And Norway and every other place they weren’t wanted. The long and short of it is that you can’t have a country if you have invaders living in it. Okay, not all of them kill you, but ask one, just ask one Angel Mom* if her son or daughter was ONE TOO MANY, will you?”
“I sure will, Chief. Let’s take a break.”
“Cherokee Morning Song” (3:00)
“At this time I would like to introduce you to an Angel Mom who lost her daughter by way of torture by machete.”
“Thank you, Roving, for allowing me to use ‘Pulse’ as a platform to state my case. In order to be an Angel Mom, you have to be an American citizen. We are neither Democrats nor Republicans, but we are Americans and all that we’re asking is to stand on the stage in any and IN EVERY political rally to remind the voters what’s at stake. And I like to do a special shout-out to President Trump for letting our voices be heard.”
“Okay, thank you. And we’ve time for one more. Oh, she did, did she? Okay, folks, we sent our driver with the cash money over to Madam Shylock’s house and, presto, here she is back on Skype.”
“Hello, Roving, and thank you for being so prompt on your financial responsibility. You know, I heard the Chief speak, and that reminded me of some mentally-challenged individual placing a teeter-totter on the fence between the USA and Mexico. I got news for somebody: it doesn’t work two ways.”
“What doesn’t work two ways?”
“The teeter-totter and what it represents. You see, if you look at it as one side represents law and order, while the other side represents corruption and the Macho-Sharia way of life, then you’d be looking at reality.”
“That makes sense.”
“Sure it does, but what doesn’t make sense is that these illegal immigrants aren’t illegally crossing the border to reach a lawful country; all they want are freebies. They couldn’t care less about law and order and, get this: after they’re here they make their neighborhood in their own image, just as corrupt and violent as the place they left.”
“So they’re here because of the Welfare and Food Stamps?”
“Treated better than our homeless Veterans. So this teeter-totter image sitting in the wall is unequal as all get-out. One side is raise a family, work, pay the taxes and honor the heritage that is America while the other side is lawlessness, disrespect, mayhem, murder and no – none whatsoever – allegiance to the United States. So what we end up with is the Democratic Party sitting on the teeter-totter on THE WRONG SIDE OF THE FENCE, and I can’t make it any plainer than that. Now, if you want me to speak more, you’ll just have to pay more.”
“No, thanks: I think we heard it all, besides it’s that time for me to wish all of our viewers, on behalf of the crew, a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Angel Mom: the truth of the matter is that not one Democrat will have an Angel Mom within a mile of them, while Trump will have them on the front row or on the stage. Something to consider, for sure.]
(His Latest Flame) (4:02)