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by OPOVV, ©2016

(Jan. 11, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to yet another exciting edition of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ As we were walking out the door this afternoon to stand under our favorite awning across from the railroad station to waylay unsuspecting people on what’s happening in their lives, our editor sent us back to an RV park outside of town for yet another exclusive interview with Chief New Leaf.

“First of all, thank you for thinking of us to carry any message you may want to share with the American people. I take it as a great honor. I must say, it sure as heck gives our ratings a boost, so thank you very much. Now, what gives?”

“How. Listen, you hypocritical heathens out there in television land. I now speak to you from ‘Platform of Truth,’ and not some ‘Feel-Good,’ mumbo-jumbo make-believe that you think yourselves to be.”

“Well, ah, that’s a little bit strong, wouldn’t you say, Chief?”

“I no ‘tone-it-down’ to satisfy any political correctness nonsense. I am spokes-Chief for all Indian tribes in the United States and therefore represent many peoples from sea to shining sea and from the Inuit in Alaska to the Chiricahua Apache in Southern Arizona.

“I say this: we are fed up with all your talk: you all nothing but Hot Air. You pass law after law, but you can’t find it in your heart to enforce the laws already on the books. Your IRS is so anti-Constitution it makes our heads spin, and add to the way your Bureau of Land Management has become a den of Big Business after the water rights of individuals, controlling above- and below-ground aquifers, rivers, streams and little creeks it boggles the mind, and then, to top it off, you pollute the very water you say you protect. Now your nonsense is creeping onto Tribal Lands, so I come to speak.

“Our ancestors found it within their collective wisdom to sign treaties with the white man: it was either that or be exterminated. So we sign on dotted line that we would live in peace with white man but white man change the conditions of all the treaties ever signed: Indian Treaty with Constitution. We no dishonor the Constitution; white man in Washington dishonor Constitution.

“You say ‘What of it?’ Indian no-fly commercial airline any more, is what. We fly private airplane or we drive. You cannot violate our FOURTH Amendment rights because we won’t subject ourselves to TSA violations. You crazy white people don’t even give it a passing thought, which is how you treat your eroding freedoms: not even a passing thought.

“You have the best railroad system in the world, but you let it go to waste. You think it’s better to add lanes in dealing with your highway congestion problem. You lack the common sense to live in proximity to where you work. You sit at red lights, engines idling, just burning up millions of barrels of oil a day by getting nowhere. If it isn’t at the red light then it’s your stop-and-go traffic on your Interstates: to-and-from, every day. Your arguments don’t hold any more water, I’m afraid. Politicians award huge road-building contracts, yet problem remains the same.

“You drive battery-powered cars, but you don’t think that the energy to charge the batteries come from the same source. Horse need food so you can ride it: you seem to think that hay from barn ‘A’ not the same from barn ‘B,’ but no one tell horse.

“You no honor the land. Within every county in the USA there’s at least one, perhaps hundreds of disaster that occur on a yearly basis. A road in Volusia County, FL has caterpillars crossing in the millions, same time every year, yet you can’t bring it upon yourselves to close the road while these caterpillars are on the go.

“There’s a road in Tennessee the turtles cross but you can’t find it within yourselves to make turtle viaducts or close the road for a week or so. It’s the same everywhere, from spiders crossing a road in New Mexico to more caterpillars in the Rockies; from insects to amphibians to fish to mammals, you refuse to acknowledge that you live among all of God’s creatures and many of these living organisms migrate, but you just don’t care one hoot of an owl. Well, we Indians DO give a darn.

“You have no regard for pollution. You clear-cut even while building a 200-unit apartment complex: kill every tree; destroy every habitat for every bird and lizard: destroy all so the developer and the investors can maximize profits.

“However, there’s a line that one should not cross when building for the future, and you’ve crossed it. You think you’re making a better world by bulldozing your way to expediency, but all you’re doing is digging an early grave for yourself.  That’s okay, but you’re directly affecting the Indian lives even as you destroy your own.

“The muskrat home that you destroyed; the beaver dam and the nursery for the ducklings are taking its toll. You cut giant swaths of destruction when you log in the Northwest and while you strip-mine in West Virginia and Eastern Kentucky. Acre after acre; day after day; year after year it adds up to one big mistake, with no correction in sight.

“You are so far gone that you can’t see that 70 mph is an admission that any semblance of the conservation of energy is but a pipe-dream. You build on 100% of the land, leaving none for Mother Nature. You destroy all natural habitat so the next forest fire is the worst in memory, and so on, year after year; decade following decade.

“You’ve the ‘Tree Huggers’ and the ‘Think Green’s,’ but they live in buildings that know not the word ‘cross-ventilation’ or taking into consideration the sun or prevailing winds. You build houses that are death traps and energy money pits: decade following decade; millennium after millennium.

“You breed as field mice but you’ve cut down all the houses of the owls so diseases spread that normally wouldn’t: you know that the Black Plague was spread by fleas living off of rats but it’s all become too complicated for you because you can’t make the connection between your God and Mother Earth. You pump oil out and pollute the very air you breathe and the water you drink.

“You place the blame of you failures on everyone except yourselves. You live in one of the most violent countries on the earth. A woman walking alone through many of your neighborhoods, even in the daytime, wouldn’t stand a chance, and you blame Muslims for not treating women with honor. A white woman walking in South Side Chicago on a Saturday night wouldn’t make it out alive, or she would be kidnapped to be a sex slave for a pimp, while your ‘Serving & Protecting’ stuff their faces with donuts.

“You white people are hypocrites, and it’s too bad that an American Indian has to tell you how to behave. Your blacks whine, but they can’t excuse themselves for being more racist than even the dumbest among you. You are so afraid of telling the Truth that you make matters worse. Can’t say ‘black racist’ or ‘black-on-white crime,’ now, can you?

“Your Army used to be made up of the citizen soldier, but no more. You have laid the foundations of your president’s private army that answers not to the Constitution, but to a tyrant. You are so anti-Draft that you’ve blinded yourself to common sense and reason. You’ve become just what you used to say was your enemy. You’ve become the enemy and don’t even know it; you don’t even recognize the danger when it looks back at you from the mirror.

“You allow illegal immigrants to take the jobs of your law-abiding citizens, and your Chamber of Commerce is complicit in the deceit and destruction, as are your Teachers’ Unions by pushing Common Core: Johnny can’t read now and you’re going to make sure that Johnny won’t be able to reason. You have enough dumb people in your country without manufacturing more.

“But the worst is Obama’s eligibility: his father was not a U.S. citizen, which also leaves out Cruz and Rubio. What’s wrong with you people? Is it really mass hypnosis/hysteria for the gullible, dumb, easily swayed, ant-Constitutionalists?

“Ah, excuse me, Chief New Leaf, but we’re about to run over our time limit, so I’ll have to stop you there.”

“I have much to say.”

“I know, but we really have to sign off. Thank you for being on our show.”

“I get burger?”

“Oh, why, sure you get a burger. This is Roving Reporter and crew saying thank you for watching our show tonight and we wish you all a happy and safe goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Good show, Chief. Okay, let’s get that burger. My treat.”

Semper Fi


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