“THE WHOLE WORLD ISN’T FAIR”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(May 17, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your one stop for your brain to take a break from the chaos that surrounds us all. Going through the mail the other day, I came across a letter accusing ‘Pulse’ of ‘skirting around the bush’ — as it was written — as if we’ve been holding back on what we really think. Okay, fair enough: each of us is entitled to our own opinion, but when that opinion endangers the well-being of my family, friends and neighbors, well, that’s when the gloves are taken off; that’s when talk is out the door; and that’s when action speaks louder than words. So we’re back on our beat, standing under the awning across the street from the railroad depot to interview our neighbors – commuters – as they head for the city. Well, well, if it isn’t our favorite General. What a surprise. Good morning, Sir.”
“Your people called my people last night and said if I got here early I’d be first in line to be interviewed, so here I am. Look, I know you’re a civilian now, but could you at least come to attention when addressing a superior officer, or is that too much to ask?”
“Way too much, Sir; I put those days behind me when I walked down the gangplank for the last time. I’m glad I served but I’m also glad I’m out. I see you brought a couple of chalkboards with you; mind telling us what they say?”
“Not at all, Roving. This one here is a diagram of the timeline and the players of the attempted coup of our government by the Deep State, aka One-World Order.”
“Very impressive; I see you have all the names, and some I’m not familiar with. And, my gosh, how many countries were involved?”
“We have, actually, 11, but there may be more. Look, this whole mess is complicated with many-an-overlap, so we’re constantly updating the info, which is why this chalkboard is so handy.”
“I bet. Any update on Barry’s BIRTH CERTIFICATE?”
“Of course; it’s just not on the board yet. Were you ever a Lieutenant Colonel, by any chance?”
“Almost, Sir. Thanks for the in-depth reporting, General. And now we must break for a commercial.”
“Extreme Ways” (3:59)
“Excuse me, Miss, care to be interviewed on live TV?”
“Do I win a prize if I answer the questions right?”
“I’m sorry, but we don’t give away any prizes and there are no correct or incorrect answers.”
“Well, my time is valuable so I’d expect to get paid; I mean, isn’t that fair?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s got nothing to do with being fair. Look, lady, the whole world isn’t fair. If the world was fair, Nancy Pelosi would have been in jail for the last 20 years, and for sure for the last 10 for the fake Obama vetting, along with Howard Dean.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me a question, like maybe what’s my job or something?”
“Okay, what’s your job?”
“Ever see the National Debt Clock?. Well, I’m designing the same thing but instead of the money that is owed, I have numbers clicking away of how many of us are being murdered by illegal migrants and in another window how many of us are being murdered by Muslims. And then there’s a window where the counter is keeping track of rapes; another one counts child molestations and I even have a counter keeping track of child brides below 14 years old, and another one from 10-14, and yet another one for four-year-olds.”
“Four-year-old brides? Are you kidding?”
“No, of course not; not about this stuff. It’s the kind of thing they don’t want you to know, that and so-called “honor killings,” as if there’s a scintilla of honor in murdering women and children.”
“What, you work for some kind of nut-outfit?”
“Just your moderate American citizen.”
“Good answer. Let’s break for a commercial and do one more.”
“Right or Wrong” (2:08)
“And we’re back with Jeff who is — what are you, Jeff?”
“I’m a retired nuclear energy employee and now I’m a lobbyist for the industry.”
“Oh, great balls of fire; a real live lobbyist from, where, ‘K’ Street?”
“Used to, but nowadays with email and direct deposit it’s all done from home. Ever watch one of those TV programs of Congress in session, when they’re making boring speeches or when they’re voting on something? Well, what are the other 99% doing? I’ll tell you: they’re texting numbers or ‘yes’ or ‘little-bit-more’ to lobbyists just like me, that’s what.”
“So, tell us, how are things going with your industry?”
“Well, now, I’m really glad you asked me that. Let me put it to you this way: we’re not as despised as the COAL STRIP-MINING COMMUNITY. I’m sorry, I have to run: this is my train.”
“Bye, Jeff, and thanks for taking the time to talk with us and so, ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Another great show, don’t you think? Let us know. Oh, one last comment: the Democrats are definitely unhinged if they say the border crisis is ‘fake news,’ all right? Burger time: my treat.”
“He Stopped Loving Her Today” (3:17)