“JUST DO IT”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(Nov. 27, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ your pit stop to recharge your mind. Hello, my name is Roving and we’re back at the university in Professor’s Zorkophsky’s office, and to top it off, we have Madam Shylock on the horn to interview them on their first collaboration: ‘The Vietnam Legacy: Don’t Say You’re Going to do It; Just Do It.’ Welcome to the show, Professor Zorkophsky and Madam Shylock.”
“Glad to be here.”
“Please, Roving, you can call me ‘Zork’; we’re among friends.”
“So tell us about the book. I understand it’s written for a myriad of customers.”
“I’ll take this question, Madam Shylock, if you don’t mind. Yes, that’s right. We wrote it for all the nuts out there and for all of those who are curious about all the nuts out there.”
“Now I’m curious: is the word ‘nuts’ an accepted professional psychiatric term? I mean, it seems a little amateurish.”
“Oh, no, it’s a great word that covers a lot of ground. Why, if we had to really describe a patient’s diagnosis, with all their loose synapses and multiple neuroses, all we’d be doing is writing in charts all day, which is why when we refer a patient to a colleague, all we have to do is write, ‘Here’s a nut for you.’ If they’re really off-the-wall — another accepted term, before you ask – we write, ‘This one’s a real loony.’”
“What’s the nuttiest?”
“That’s a good question, Roving. As I’m sure you and your viewers are aware, a great debate has been going on, going on, really, since Freud, between the use of ‘loony-bin’ and ‘off-the-wall.’ I’m partial to ‘off-the-wall’ myself.”
“And what about you, Madam Shylock?”
“I agree. Matter-of-fact, the psychiatric clinical phrase, ‘off-the-wall,’ has its basis in gypsy lore, as depicted in this ancient fortuneteller’s song:
He came to have his fortune read,
And paid in cash and a tip,
Who would be the maiden to share his bed,
Be docile and give him no lip.
He was told if he didn’t change his attitude,
And live by the Golden Rule,
He’d spend the rest of his days sad and blue.
So listen to this tale and take heed,
For someday you may be a person in need.
Each of us has a calling, so take care one and all,
And don’t end-up off-the-wall.”
“Yes, that was very nice and I’m sure our audience loved it as much as I. Moving along, about this ‘legacy’: what’s it all mean?”
Commercial break: “Jean” (2:37)
“It means that threats don’t cut it in the real world. Don’t say you’re going to do something: just do it. I once had a patient who told his cheating wife that he was leaving in two weeks, which is how long it took him to get his stuff together — oil change, that sort of thing — and, on the dot, he left. He was a Vietnam Veteran and that’s what Vietnam taught him: don’t talk it to death; just do it.”
“Zork here: yes, I’ve heard that before: talk is cheap. One thing I’ve learned is that when someone makes a threat to a Vietnam Vet, they’re always surprised how quick and violent the reaction is: usually immediate, if not sooner, except when the Vietnam Vet is in a really good and compassionate mood. Then they’ll say, ‘Don’t push it’. But that’s only if they’re being nice. Reminds me of a true story: this Vietnam Vet was surrounded by a group of war protesters at O’Hare Airport. The protesters were yelling baby-killer and the Vet said, ‘What’s your point?’ The protesters backed off, although the Vet was outnumbered ten to one.”
“So tell us, what’s the conclusion of your book, The Vietnam Legacy?”
“Simple: if you say it, do it. If you say you’re going to release the documents, DO IT.”
“That’s right, and I’m sure our viewers would agree and so, on behalf of our viewers, thank you for such an insightful and comprehensive interview. Our time is up so it’s time for me, on behalf of the crew, to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Goodnight, Madam Shylock, and thanks. Hey, Zork, it’s burger time: my treat.”
“Rainy Night in Georgia” 3:53
Sharon Rondeau has operated The Post & Email since April 2010, focusing on the Obama birth certificate investigation and other government corruption news. She has reported prolifically on constitutional violations within Tennessee’s prison and judicial systems.