In Tune or Outta Tune (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2018

(Oct. 11, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ seemingly the last vestige of genuine ‘what-it-is’ in the world today. Hello, my name is Roving and…what in the world do we have here? No kidding; it’s that retired General who pushes his chalkboard down the sidewalk. Hey, General, top of the mornin’ to you.”

“You’re supposed to come to attention and render a hand salute, soldier, when addressing a superior officer.”

“Gee, General, I’d really like to but I’m out; I’m a full-time civilian now.”

“Nonsense. You took the Oath, didn’t you? Sure you did; we all did. Did you see an expiration date? I didn’t see an expiration date and no one else saw an expiration date because there’s isn’t one. If the Oath had an expiration date the Army would’ve issued one, but they didn’t, did they?  The answer, soldier, is, ‘Yes, sir! You are correct, sir! Understood, sir!’ And wipe that grin off your face, soldier; you’re being addressed by a superior officer.”

“Sorry, sir. Ever hear of a whiteboard? Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

Celtic Birthday Song” (0.38)

“Son, I even heard of an M-16 but I’m not trusting my life with a plastic Mattel-Toy infantry assault rifle; no, thank you; give me a Garand M-1 anytime, day or night; dust or mud; dry or wet. None of these Tinker Toys they have nowadays. Give me a wrench to tighten a tank tread and you can keeps your computer chips. Do you know that there’s parts of a F-16 Falcon that’s MADE IN CHINA?”

“Yes, sir, I did know that, sad to say.”

“And I’ve a bone to pick with you, son.”

“What’s that?”

“The other day you listed some of the popular contributors to ‘Pulse’Chief New Leaf and even that dog who you say talks; I don’t believe the dog talks, myself — I think it’s some kind of camera trick, like Mr. Ed, the Talking Horse – but how come I didn’t see ‘Army General’? Why is that?”

“Let me explain – for the umpteenth time – the dog doesn’t actually do the talking. What the dog does is she uses telepathic communication with the Vietnam Veteran and the Vet is really just the mouthpiece for the dog. That’s how it works, General. Excuse us, please, while we take another commercial break.”

 Grazing in the Grass” (2:36)

“You’re on, General.”

“Well, by golly, I just wish someone would’ve explained this Talking Dog to me from the beginning. And here I thought the dog talked American English. Ever been to England, son? Can’t understand half of what they’re saying, and if you ever go up to Scotland or over to Ireland you better bring an interpreter. Which reminds me. Excuse me while I make a note of it here on my chalk board: request all movies made in England have subtitles.”

“You were saying…”

“I know what I was saying; I’m just retired, I’m not senile. I was saying that you failed to mention me.”

“Not me; that was an omission by our secretary/receptionist/transcriber, Cheryl.”

“Good, son, well done: always pass the blame. You’ll go far, maybe even make General some day. Want me to draw lines around North Korea? Maybe Iran? I can draw a straight line to Switzerland if you’d like me to.”

“What does Switzerland have to do with anything?”

“Money, son: the key to just about everything. The leaders of Iran have been robbing the people blind for decades. First the Shah was robbing them blind; now it’s the Ayatollah’s turn: billions, son, and a lot of it from that imposer, Obama, of WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE fame. Want to hear more?”

“I want to hear all of it.”

‘Remember LTC Terry Lakin?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Apparently a lot of people, but not the Mainstream Media, that’s for sure, since LTC Terry Lakin’s Court Martial was never reported by them in the first place.”


“And that’s it. ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ If there hasn’t been a pardon by now there never will be. Did you know that’s why I was forced to retire? The Army said my billet was no longer in service; fat chance of that happening. I protested Lakin being railroaded in the kangaroo Court Martial orchestrated by the Joint Chiefs of Staff who were following the orders of Attorney General Eric Holder via Barry Soetoro aka Obama via Valerie Jarrett.”

“What was your job; your billet? But first we have to break for another commercial; then you can answer.”

I Cried a Tear” (2:34)

“I was in charge of MUD.”


“MUD, short for Muslim Deportation Program which, in PHASE I, deport all the Muslims that immigrated after January 20, 2009; after the completion of the first phase, PHASE II would commence and all the other ‘peaceful and misunderstood’ people would be sent back from whence they came.”

“Never even heard of MUD.”

“And no one else has, either. See, it was a secret government project put together just before the 2012 elections. Back then there was this candidate* who would’ve deported our Muslims; then Canada’s and gone into Europe and done the same for them, so the Pentagon got a heads-up, for once, and created MUD. And so I became the head honcho, but then some whistle-blower said I supported Lakin’s request to see the usurper’s BIRTH CERTIFICATE and that was that.”

“Too bad, for sure, ‘cause we really could use you, and the same goes for everywhere else there’s been the invasion of the Islamists. Have you been paying attention to the horrors the Muslims are responsible for, not just here but everywhere there’s a dilapidated grocery store turned into a mosque with the accompanying animal torture chamber where they wantonly abuse animals to death that they sell as Halal-certified food?

“Son, keep in step. One is either in step or outta step; in tune or outta tune. Look, you’re doing real good here on your corner; keep up the good work. I’ll be looking at that Talking Dog in an entirely different light from now on, that’s for sure; you can count on that. You’re dismissed, soldier.”

“Just great, General, and thanks for accepting the Talking Dog for what she is: the conscience for a lost generation.”

“Hippies, isn’t that what the Taking Dog is, or was?”

“I wouldn’t know about that, but I do know that the Vietnam Vet had one wonderful weekend in San Francisco [“If You’re Going to San Francisco” (2:59)] at the height of the hippie movement. Here comes your train, General: good luck wheeling your chalkboard aboard. And the next time we list our contributors, we’ll be sure to include you.

“Some show. So what did we learn? Well, we learned that Iran’s leaders have a heck of a lot of money stashed out of the country; we learned that the Pentagon at one time backed deporting the Muslims from Western Civilization; and we learned that there’s no expiration to the Oath of Allegiance to the Constitution. Okay, I could go on but I’m afraid that our time has expired and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Okay, from now on we’ll include the General in the list of contributors. What do you say we schedule the General and the Talking Dog on together sometime? I’ve a feeling that would be something to see. Burger time: my treat.”

[*candidate: OPOVV]

If I Oh I” (2:57)


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