by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Feb. 25, 2026) — “There are those who wander amongst us who are unhinged beyond redemption. They may look like us and even talk as we talk, but their brain waves are so far out of kilter one would think they’re balancing themselves on a teeter-totter the way they view reality, for reality to them is of another world to us. Welcome to the psych ward of the county sanitarium.”
“In the Hall of the Mountain King” (2:28)
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. As you can see, we’re at the county’s sanitarium, in the ‘NUT WARD,’ and if you don’t believe me, there’s the sign: ‘NUT WARD.’ And here he is, our featured guest, Professor Zorkophsky, author and practicing shrink, to show us around.”
“Glad you could make it; just starting my rounds. Care to join me? Please call me ‘Zork’; it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere, don’t you think?”
“Yes, you’re right, of course.”
“Zork.”
“Zork.”
“Good. Here we are at Room 412. Mr. Robert No-Last-Name. Admitted in 2016; blabs incoherently about ‘Orange Man.’ Cries, too. Good day to you, Mr. Robert. (Mr. Robert starts crying). Why the tears, Robert?”
“He’ll destroy Democracy. He’s making America great again. He closed the border and Jeb Bush said they come here for love.” (Falls on his knees and starts sucking his thumb).
“Well, he’s out of it. Imagine ten years, the same every day: ‘Orange Man Bad.’ Never-ending.”
“Is there a cure; I mean, is there no hope?”
“I’m afraid not. We read him the Constitution and all he did was cry. We expose him to viewpoints other than MSNBC and CNN, and all he does is cry. No, he’s hopeless.”
“Is he violent? Will he hurt others or maybe even himself?”
“He’ll never hurt himself other than shooting himself in the foot. Oh, yes, he may hurt others. The nurses must wear Biden hats and Miss Cackle pins. I’m afraid he’ll be here until he croaks.”
“Let me ask you this: is the word ‘croak’ accepted by professional psychiatrists such as you?”
“By all means; every day, worldwide. Let’s go to Room 423, a unique case.”
“How so?”
“Her name is Gloria M., and she thinks she knows what’s going on but not quite. Here we are. Knock-knock.”
“Come in. Oh, hello, Professor; who is that with you?”
“I’m Pastor Dunkin.”
“Gonna give me my Last Rites?”
“Who knows? Could be.”
“Aren’t you a bed of roses?”
“How are we feeling today?”
“My grandfather was a Dem; my parents were Dems, so I’m a Dem.”
“I didn’t know political affiliation was hereditary.”
“Good question.”
“Do you know that if JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr., were alive today the DNC wouldn’t let them speak at a convention?”
“But that’s crazy.”
“Which is why you’re here, locked in a padded room.”
“I’m crazy?”
“Crazy as a loon.”
“Just because I support the Dem agenda of destroying the United States? Open borders and illegals voting in our elections?”
“Yep.”
“But it’s right there on the TV: Trump is the ‘Destroyer of Democracy!’”
“FAKE NEWS.”
“I don’t believe it. That guy down the hall, Mr. Robert No-Last-Name, now, he’s nuts, not me.”
“Let’s just say he’s ‘nuttier.’”
“Okay, I can live with that. Am I as nuts as, say, Chuck Schumer?”
“Not quite; you may have a chance of seeing reality someday, that Trump is the best thing since sliced bread and M&Ms rolled into one.”
“That’s nice to hear. So, what you’re saying is that Schumer has no chance whatsoever of seeing reality.”
“Never.”
“But he doesn’t cry like Robert No-Last-Name.”
“He does but doesn’t know it. He doesn’t know that if he would support Trump, we’d have a better world, let alone country.”
“I think I’m getting better.”
“I hope so.”
“And I’ll pray for you.”
“Like now? Could you give a short prayer for me, please?”
“Very well. Dear Lord, please help this wayward soul to find redemption in the truth. She watches such trash as ‘The View’ and her mind is scrambled, bless her heart. In this we pray. Amen.”
“Thank you, Pastor Dunkin.”
“Get well. See you next week. Well, now, Pastor, what do you think?”
“I think Schumer and all the other Dems need to be in a padded room, is what I think.”
“Couldn’t agree with you more than I already do.”
“That’s great, and we’ve just run out of time. This is Pastor Dunkin, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Did you catch the State of the Union speech? I thought so, too: A+. Burger time: my treat.”
“Climb Every Mountain” (2:42)
Pastor Dunkin