by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Jan. 21, 2026) — “I’m not a violent person. I’ll walk away from a fight, and I have rather than spend the night in jail for disorderly conduct. And I’ve kept my mouth shut when maybe I should have spoken out. But had I been in that church that was invaded by the losers last Sunday in Minnesota, the only way any of them would have left that church would be on a stretcher.”
“Crying in the Chapel” (2:25)
“And that’s my opening. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The phrase ‘turning the other cheek’ doesn’t mean you have to take it. Lending a helping hand doesn’t demonstrate weakness; it demonstrates compassion. And it’s not our fault that the enemy is in the dark as to our motivations; it’s not our responsibility to instruct them on how to behave. With us to help sort it all out is Professor Wert, the well-known and respected author of bestselling children’s books. Welcome back on ‘Pulse,’ the most popular information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for the invitation. I’m honored and will do my very best to explain whatever needs explaining.”
“Then can you explain the recent Minnesota church invasion?”
“Haven’t a clue. I mean, how can one explain anti-American behavior without invoking such words as ‘delusional’ and ‘communism?’ One can’t. This is what I mean: you can’t reason with a crazy person because they are bereft of deductive reasoning.”
“Then how do you change their minds?”
“Who wants to change their minds? Look: really, now, does anyone give a hoot? No, there’s no one with an ounce of compassion for the voluntarily confused. TDS, ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ only affects the mentally lazy.”
“Back up. Explain ‘mentally lazy,’ I mean, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. Anyone who has never read the Constitution, doesn’t understand the ‘Bill of Rights,’ and doesn’t understand the ‘Ten Commandments’ is mentally lazy. Those documents are clear and understandable. No grey areas, for example, ‘Thou shalt not steal.’ See? Even stupid people can understand that much, which leaves out the Governor of California, Gavin Newsom.”
“He’s not stupid?”
“Stupid and dangerous, as in truly NAZI-style. Evil. Look, if you don’t think the Constitution is the best document ever written for a government, you’re in for a lot of disappointment in your life.”
“So, what you’re saying is that these protesters are commies?”
“What I’m saying is that they’re just your ordinary stupid people; you know the kind, people who cheat on tests, game the system and watch ‘The View.’ Total losers, every one of them, young and old, male and female, all stupids. By choice, because they’re lazy and easily swayed. Follow the leader, but if you think the mayor of Chicago, Brandon Johnson, is someone to follow, then I recommend a lobotomy.”
“For real? You’re not just sayin’ that?”
“No, for real.”
“Interesting. Well, what a great show. I’m Pastor Dunkin and along with Professor Wert, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“I Don’t Want to Talk About It” (4:48) (An ode to my first wife.)
Pastor Dunkin
excellent….my friends would go crazy if I posted this on my facebook feed.