by Henry, ©2025
(Oct. 24, 2025) — “Alley Oop” (2:50)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Wert is here to hawk his latest children’s book, ’65 Million Years Ago,’ available in hardcover or coloring-book format. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for having me; it’s such an honor.”
“I think the little kiddies will get a kick out of it but I’ve a few questions, if you don’t mind.”
“No, none at all; ask away.”
“In the first chapter you explain the extinction of the dinosaurs, not by an asteroid slamming into the Yucatan Peninsula 65 millions of years ago, but by all the cats of the world purring at the same time, thereby setting up a sound wave that traveled around the world, culminating at the Yucatan Peninsula that fractured the earth, and that’s what caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. You also mentioned that an asteroid hit at the same spot at the same time and spread the element iridium around the world.”
“Yes, I see you read the book. Isn’t it amazing, the coincidence, the cats and the asteroid?”
“I’d say. Interesting theory, but what’s just as interesting is your prediction of what the world’s cat population may do in the future. What did you call it, a ‘Purrevent?’”
“That’s right, a Purrevent. Apparently happens every so often, although the only documented one is the one of the Yucatan Peninsula.”
“But that’s my point: you haven’t offered any proof that the felines of the world could do such a thing even if they wanted to, but why would they want to in the first place?”
“Well, we like to extend the imagination of the little ones, if we can.”
“What do you say we take a short break and then talk about the Sphinx? Be right back.”
“Walk Like An Egyptian” (2:50)
“And we’re back with Professor Wert hawking his latest book for the kids. In the second chapter you seem to make a lot more sense than in the first.”
“Thank you.”
“You wrote that the Sphinx is at least 20,000 years older than the pyramids of Egypt and that the head was once a lion’s head.”
“Yes, that is true. If the sphinx had a male lion’s head, then the rest of the body would be in proportion. As it is, they carved away the lion’s head to resemble a Pharaoh, most likely Khufu’s likeness, so the body is longer than it should be.”
“Well, now, that’s beginning to sound reasonable. I’ve often wondered about those proportions, I mean the front legs and the long body. On every other Egyptian sculpture everything is in proportion.”
“Except the Sphinx.”
“Except the Sphinx.”
“I see that our time has expired, and I hope your book sells.”
“I’d like to say a few words about the coloring book, if I may.”
“Make it short.”
“The coloring book is divided into two parts. Part 1 is the outline of the dinosaurs, 1 per page with the Latin name and the common name. Part 2 is outlines of the pyramids, the various temples and, of course, the Sphinx. The coloring book comes with a washable watercolor pan set with brushes. Part 3…”
“You have a part 3? What’s that one about?”
“The history of our NAVY, starting with the USS Constitution. Each page has the outline of a ship and crew. From the outset, I must say there are no outlines of women aboard any NAVY ships.”
“No women? But aren’t there women serving on NAVY ships today?”
“That may be but that doesn’t make it right. Look, this is a little kiddie coloring book, not some DEI woke inclusion propaganda hokeypokey.”
“I like it. Well, that about does it and I wish you the very best on the success of your latest children’s book. This is Henry, along with Professor Wert, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. I liked the idea of the coloring book. There’s a new deli nearby, delicious Reubens: my treat.”
“Drunken Sailor” (2:39)