by Henry, ©2025
(Sep. 5, 2025) — As you can see, we’re at Pastor Dunkin’s little church down on Hawthorn Street about to witness a one-act play titled “The Second Coming.” We’re back up in the balcony, out of the way, filming for prosperity. The house is packed, and now the lights are extinguished revealing the candlelight provided by sconces all around the perimeter. The warm glow is relaxing like a fireplace on a chilly night. Pastor Dunkin walks down the aisle and steps upon the altar, turns and faces the congregation.
“As a token of respect for the subject at hand, please turn to page 219 in the hymnal and sing along with our choir that is up in the balcony along with Henry and ‘Pulse’s’ film crew.”
“Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” (3:02)
“That was very well done, all of you who rejoice in the Lord; yes, indeed. I have it on good authority that Jesus himself will not be making an appearance here today, I’m sorry to say. But what I want each of you to do is think of just one word: justice. Do you think that your justice would be the same as Jesus’s justice, and if not, why not? I cannot speak for Jesus any more than I can speak for you. All I’m able to do is speak for myself, and when I think of the word ‘justice’ the word ‘payback’ comes to mind.
“By now most of you have come to realize that you’ve been had, but surely you must have thought it somewhat odd that there was no admission fee, no tickets handed out, no seat assignment. That’s right; you’re not an ‘audience,’ you’re a ‘congregation.’ Face it, you’re in church, like it or not, and the sermon you’re about to hear is about the ‘Golden Rule.’
“The Golden Rule states to treat others as you would wish to be treated, but what about how others acted in the past? Would Jesus throw them in ovens, hog-tie them and cut off their heads? I would in a heartbeat, and I suspect you’d do the same. Payback, the ‘what goes around comes around’ philosophy, works, at least for me.
“Jesus may play the ‘long game,’ send them down below after they’re dead. But we the living would prefer our justice done in our lifetimes, in the here-and-now and not in the hereafter. We want to see the evildoers suffer.
“As some of you may be aware, any member of our church who suffers from combat-related PTSD may be treated free of charge by Professor ‘Zork’ Zorkophsky. The other day, Zork told me that the first step for any sort of cure is for the patient to forgive himself. Well, the first step to let Jesus into our lives is to open our hearts. Zork also says Jesus is a big help to any who need Him, especially those with PTSD.
“I was talking about payback, of getting justice. Many PTSD sufferers have a hard time forgiving themselves for what they had to do to stay alive, for what they had to do to keep their sanity in an insane environment. If anyone thinks that war is normal, it’s not. People go nuts; trust me, and if they don’t go nuts when it’s happening, they’ll likely go nuts later, hence PTSD.
“Those who have PTSD are not good candidates to make investments in the future because, truth be told, they have no future. Why not blow grandpa’s inheritance if they’ve but a short time left? Trouble is that the ‘short time’ becomes years and then decades. From looking at ‘Death’s Door’ to looking back on a wasted life is but a series of nightmares, divorces and liters of drugs and booze. Guaranteed that a homeless Veteran on the street never considered being anywhere near alive in 2025.
“But they are alive with no one to blame but themselves for both options: alive or dead. The thing about a Western Civilization’s death is the concept of Heaven, of reuniting with lost loved ones. Suicide is a ticket to miss all those who have died naturally. Suicide is a one-way ticket with no stops, no way stations, no time-outs, straight to the depths of depression from which there is no escape, even in death; so, trust me, the 72 whatever, sheep? aren’t worth it.
“I mentioned a timeline for life, notwithstanding surprises. A victim of PTSD is as innocent as a newborn; it’s not their fault. Saying that, in order to stay on the theme of the Second Coming and the Golden Rule, I’d have to say that those who committed atrocities on October 7th deserve to be punished in the EXACT SAME WAY they committed murder. Please turn to page 5 in your hymnal and sing along with our excellent choir.”
“What a Friend We have in Jesus” (2:38)
“Thank you; now wasn’t that fun? In closing, all I want to say is it would be nice if we all walked in the footsteps of Jesus but, I’m afraid, that’s a hard act to follow, for sure. But we can at least think about it, the Golden Rule, I mean. Even when driving, a simple act of courtesy may get you to your destination on time rather than after a six-month stint in the hospital. What I mean is not to expect any immediate returns on being nice, but in the long run your life will have improved.
“Getting back to PTSD, I knew a guy who left his wife and was afraid to ask her for forgiveness because he feared she’d say ‘No,’ so, instead of asking, he just went out and got a divorce. Now here’s the point: had he had Jesus in his corner, he would’ve at least taken the chance, but as it was, he didn’t, and now he’ll live the rest of his life wondering if he made the biggest mistake of his life. It’s good to have Jesus as a crutch, just as it is good to have a lifelong partner in life that we Christians call a marriage between a man and a woman.
“It’s like this, and even this simple: you don’t want to be in a foxhole alone; we all need our back watched. Each of us needs a partner in life, someone we can implicitly trust with our life. Let it be known: you can trust Jesus, and living a life guided by the Golden Rule is the real ticket to Heaven. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed our non-play. Please join the choir on your way out.”
“Oh Happy Day” (5:55)
“And that’s it. Thank you for watching.”
“The Devil and the TVA” (2:04)