by Henry, ©2025
(Aug. 24, 2025) — “Cupid” (2:29)
It’s all about the money, or fresh water. Afghanistan has no water to speak of, but plenty of Poppies, which means money and plenty of it. Some say the Russians went into Afghanistan to control the world’s heroine-morphine drug “BIG-BIG” business trade; others say the USA (CIA) weaseled in for the same reason. And no matter who the aggressor was, those Poppy Fields were “OFF-LIMITS.” Some say that those fields were some kind of “SAFETY SPOT” for the Taliban, kind of like the DMZ was in Vietnam for the Viet Cong (VC).
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky will be our featured guest who will tell us how to buy your very own tank. Interesting, for sure. I mean, a ‘for real’ tank? Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“Ah, would you mind being a little more forthcoming in your answer?”
“Not at all. Now I don’t know what kind of deal Obama made with the Taliban.”
“You mean Biden.”
“No, Biden’s been — excuse me for using a professional psychiatric term — ‘out-to-lunch’ since before the 2020 stolen election, understand?”
“The Dems don’t.”
“Anyway, as I was saying, Obama, being a Muslim and wanting nothing but good for them, told Biden to give all our military stuff in Afghanistan to the Taliban as we left posthaste. Which we did, on live TV. Good ratings. Thirteen American military dead, 45 wounded and many more expendable Afghans dead and wounded. Hey, who cares, right? In the Quran it even says it’s okay for Muslims to kill other Muslims in the pursuit of Jihad, or the killing of Infidels (nonbelievers).’
“Yes, our audience is well aware of that fact.”
“Well, what happened was, all of a sudden the Taliban had all kinds of state-of-the-art military stuff, too much, matter of fact.”
“We saw it all go down on live TV.”
“That we did; people falling off planes was not right; I don’t care whose side you’re on. Well, anyway, the Taliban had no qualified drivers for the tanks and no pilots for the helicopters, so they dismantled them and put the parts on the Internet for sale, and that’s how I got my tank, in parts.”
“But surely Customs had something to say about it.”
“Not if the parts are labeled ‘FARM EQUIPTMENT’ they don’t.”
“All right, I can understand how everything else for the tank would get through, but what about the barrel?”
“I have to admit that was a tough one until I decided to call it ‘Oil Drilling Equipment,’ but that got some frowns, so I changed it to ‘Oil Drilling Farm Equipment’ and then it breezed through Customs.
“Unbelievable.”
“But what’s a tank without ammo? you might ask. So, I pasted some American flags on the ammo crates with ‘4th of July Fireworks’ labels and they breezed through. Piece of cake.”
“No way.”
“But I’m not the only one. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if every mosque in the United States has a tank or two.”
“Unbelievable. So, what kind of tank did you get?”
“I’m tellin’ you, top-of-the-line ‘Made in the USA’ M1 Abrams main battle tank with optional flame- thrower capabilities. 120mm cannon, that’s like a 5” naval gun, one heck of a weapon. I haven’t fired it yet but as soon as I find a target up to 15 miles away, I’ll do so. It’ll be loud so maybe I’ll wait until the next 4th of July.”
“That makes sense. Last question: why a tank?”
“I wanted to make a statement, is what I wanted to do. Parked it in my front lawn to protect against burglars. But I put a ‘FARM EQUIPMENT’ sticker on it in case there’s any questions.”
“Makes perfect sense. Well, I see that’s all the time we have. I’m Henry and along with Professor Zorkophsky we wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. A tank. Always wanted a tank. Ever get the feeling that Omar won’t be deported, that the State Department will never deport the Muslims and same with the Secretary of Defense not deporting Muslims from the military. Heck, he can’t even get the women off the Navy ships. Makes one wonder what’s going on, or not. What do you say we go down to the bait shop for a snack: my treat.”
“Love Me Tender’’ (2:42)