by Henry, ©2025
(Aug. 15, 2025) —
Land Grab: 1800’s: just move them out; use the Army
2000’s: just move them out; use fire
“This Land is Your Land” (4:30)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. From Hawaii to California, if you’re ‘in-the-way,’ you automatically forfeit your life. The time of honesty has passed; the time of kickbacks has dawned. The ‘poster child’ of ‘handouts’ is the mayor of Los Angeles, followed by the rest of the ‘game-the-system’ crooks, from California to Baltimore, mayors, governors, and those in Congress. Our featured guest is Chief New Leaf, someone whose ancestors went through the same thing many of our fellow citizens are going through today. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most- watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for having me on your most popular show. I liked your opening, and if it wasn’t BlackRock, some other sleaze group of ‘investors’ would try and do the same, burning people out, refusing to issue building permits, and taking over the land through eminent domain, the greatest fear of any landowner.”
“Will the fires in Hawaii and California ever be investigated?”
“Oh, sure, just like Kennedy’s assassination was. It’s one thing if ‘forked tongue’ white man would lie to American Indians, but they also lie to their own kind, like blacks stealing from blacks. Think of the City Council members of Detroit, Michigan, and you’ll get the picture.”
“Yes, I believe we are aware of the ‘perks’ elected officials take advantage of.”
“I read somewhere that there’s an ‘American Indian Olympics’ happening somewhere; are the rumors true?”
“Not anymore they’re not. There was a major brouhaha over the canoe racing teams. It seems that some squaws demanded to be included but Injuns no permit squaws to have paddle. Not allow in Indian etiquette.”
“No paddles.”
“And no talk. There are no back-seat canoe squaws. Not permitted. Squaw allowed to answer question and emergency ‘whelps,’ but no more.”
“Sounds like Indian Chief ‘male-chauvinist-pig.’”
“Not so. Squaw in canoe bad enough but only allow in dire circumstances, such as catch fish. Hollywood silver screen depiction of Indian show squaw in canoe, sometimes talking, having conversation. All make-believe from ‘Tinsel Town.’”
“I see.”
“Maybe see, maybe not see. Bottom line, Indian Olympics cancelled. But there’s more.”
“More?”
“The canoe races were to be held at a town called Rangeley on Rangeley Lake, Maine. Trouble is, the woke Governor of Maine, Janet Mills, long-time sufferer of TDS, ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome.’ Zork,‘ I mean Professor Zorkophsky, says she is a hopeless case. Anyway, she put her foot in where it doesn’t belong and demanded that we allow women to be in men’s racing canoes. We say not happening, so we cancel Indian Olympics.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yes, it is. Comanche tribe the fastest which make all other tribe even faster. We put all canoes in water, tell braves to paddle around to see who fastest. When they see Comanche canoe behind them, they freak. They so fast make rooster tail.”
“Why is that?”
“Comanche most feared, even more feared than the Sioux or the Apache Chiricahuas. All Indians know that the Comanche women the worst of anyone, anywhere, at any time. Most-feared torturers ever.”
“Any more thoughts?”
“You Americans are the wackiest people in the world. You make excuses for bad people. Other people of the world don’t impose meaningless age limits like you do. A boy commits a crime, but he can’t be charged as an adult. Get real. A crime is a crime, and age has nothing to do with it. Only in America.”
“You know, you’re right.”
“There’s more.”
“One more; we got but one minute left.”
“Very well. It’s called ‘Greek Prophecy Against Women on Ships, including Canoes’ (to be absolutely truthful, I added the ‘including canoes’). It, officially, started when Jason sailed to go look for the ‘Golden Fleece.’ Every time they sailed with a woman on board, the ship sank. Every time. Maybe it was rocks, freak wave, terrific storm, or a whale; it sank. Maybe it was just coincidence, but whatever it was, whenever they had a woman on board, the ship sank. So, rather than tempt Fate, Injun no allow squaw on brave’s racing canoe.”
“That’s what I like about our show, what you can learn.”
“Now what I’ve told you, about women on ships, is true for any ship, especially ships designed to be manned by men, as in fighting ships. Your Navy, for instance, is acting like banana woke governors. I never suspected the Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, as ‘being one of those,’ but I’m beginning to wonder. If I were thinking about joining the Navy, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t join unless women get off ships. Just sayin’, but that’s how I really feel.”
“And we thank you for your honesty.”
“Last point: this Gavin Newsom character is a REAL Hitler in the making. My advice? Don’t give him an inch. Fair warning.”
“Which we all thank you for, for sure. We just ran out of time, so this is Henry, along with the Chief, wishing each of you a goodnight: goodnight.
“Good show. I see you’ve deer jerky while I’m having a ‘Fly Shake,’ houseflies and fireflies blended with pond scum.”