by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Mar. 18, 2025) — “Cattle Call” (2:47)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. One of our traveling reporters, ‘Eleanor the Rabbit,’ sent us this report from somewhere in the Midwest and, according to the note we found in the package, ‘Please do not reveal the postmark location.’ Fair enough, and so we don’t inadvertently destroy any continuity of the report, we’ll dispense with the commercial forthwith and go straight to the tape.”
“Two Gunslingers” (3:06)
The tape opens to a scene of a small-town center gazebo with a large banner reading, “Welcome, McCorley Family Reunion.” To the right dogs and burgers are cooking over charcoal while on the left picnic tables are set up with paper covers where chips and drinks are being served; one table has a large punch bowl. About 50 people are in attendance, ranging from youngsters to retired folks. It is a bright and sunny day with the large thermometer on the gazebo reading 76oF. A distinguished-looking man climbs the steps, turns with hands raised and addresses the crowd.
“May I have your attention, please. Everyone, gather around. You kids over there near that big oak, come on over here. Welcome to the McCorley Family Reunion. I’m Judge McCorley.”
A cute little girl yells, “No you’re not, you’re Grandpa!”
Everyone laughs.
“That’s right, Mary Beth, I’m your grandpa. I just want to say how happy all of you have made June and me for being here, and it’s really good seeing you all again. We’ve enjoyed watching you all grow. What’s this?”
Just then, four large tour buses, escorted by three black SUVs with blue lights flashing, pull up in the NO PARKING in front of the park. A couple of FBI-looking dudes step out of the first SUV and approach the gazebo.
“Yes? How may I help you?”
“Are you Judge McCorley, the judge who signed the order not to deport the illegal immigrants?”
“That would be me. Why do you ask?”
The agent signals to the buses where 20 men exit from each one, chained at the ankles, wrists and one chain connecting them from neck to neck. The 80 men, necks, faces and heads covered in tattoos, walk halfway to the gazebo and stop, intently staring at the women. The guards carry shotguns, and half of them approach the group gathered in front of the gazebo.
“Hold it, right now. What do you think you’re doing, spoiling our reunion and making the womenfolk nervous as all get out?”
“Keep your hat on, Judge, and shut up. Guards, divide the women equally and put them in the buses, followed by the prisoners. After the buses are loaded, pass them the key to the handcuffs and give them the envelope that contains $20,000 cash and send them on their way.”
“Hold it; now just wait one gosh-darn minute. You can’t do that.”
“Then change your order, Judge, stop this ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ and start doing what’s best for America.”
“Judge McCorley, just rescind your stupid order or don’t come home tonight or any other night, ever; you hear me?”
“And this is where the tape ends. Interesting, don’t you think? And that’s it. I’d like to thank Eleanor for sending that to us. This is your Roving Reporter wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.”
[Hey, Pete Hegseth, kick all the Muslims out of our military yet?]
“Riders on the Storm” (4:54)
Roving Reporter
Picture Judge James Boasberg letting his daughter, Katherine, being put on one of those buses and taken by Tren de Aragua because that’s what he’s wishing for your wife and daughter