Roving, Eleanor, Little Turtle & New Leaf (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2017

(Apr. 20, 2017) — “He asked me if I’d take a bet on a week free from the ‘Aloha Akbar’ insanity and I told him no way.”

“You spelt ‘Allahu’ incorrectly.”

“No, I didn’t, and there’s no way this side of common sense anyone would take that bet. You mean we’re ‘ON?’

“Oh, hello there, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the television show that’s sure to get your, what? Dander up?

 What’s a ‘dander?’ Anybody know what a ‘dander’ is? Bob knows.”

“Dander is what animals shed, like feathers and skin and stuff.”

“Do turtles have dander?”

“I suppose they could get some.”

“A comic turtle; almost unbelievable, but, as you know, on this show anything’s possible. Today we’re back on the corner for a new format. ‘Little Turtle who sits on Rock in Moonlight,’ aka ‘Bob;’  ‘Chief New Leaf’ and ‘Eleanor the Rabbit’ (along with Yours Truly, Roving Reporter, that’s me), are waiting for passersby to ask us questions, for a change. Excuse me, sir, care to ask any of us a question?”

“I’ve a train to catch. Unlike some, I work for a living.”

“And what the heck do you think this is, relaxing on the beach? You try and stand out here in the cold, rain and sweltering weather and see how you like it. Ungrateful ingrate. Probably voted for Obama and then Hillary. Most likely hates America; doesn’t stand for the National Anthem or puts his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance; never memorized the Preamble or the Gettysburg Address; never had a library card and says he regrets never have served in the military, as if it’s a foregone conclusion he would’ve made it through Boot Camp in the first place, let alone not being fragged or found ‘missing at sea,’ and, finally, get an Honorable Discharge. Yes, Chief?”

“You frighten little children; you make adults nervous with your ranting. You need to take a breath and let others answer people’s questions.”

“Okay, deal. Who wants to ask a question of the rabbit? How about you, little girl? By the way, how old are you?”

“I’m just about-almost 12 and I’d rather talk to the turtle, if I may.”

“Why, what a well-spoken child and, yes, you may. So, what’s the question?”

“Mr. Turtle, what are the reasons why the ‘mainstream media’ refuses to call a terror attack a terror attack, like what just happened in Fresno, California?”

“Good question, kid. How old are you again?”

“I’m 11 and a half, going on 12. I’m practically 12 already.”

“Aren’t you a little young to be concerning yourselves with such, eh, dire news?”

“What’s dryer news?”

“It’s news that’s been through the wringer; it’s news that’s been sanitized so that what you hear isn’t the truth but a cover-up, just as Hillary’s loss was a cover-up. It was open borders; Dreamers and amnestyemail servers, not to mention the whole Middle East; the Muslim Brotherhood; Libya and our Ambassador and three other Americans murdered, and not any other sorry excuse EXCEPT the Democratic Platform that is anti-Constitution and, therefore, anti-American.”

“So why did she get so many votes from our big cities? I mean New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles and others?”

“You want the truth, kid? I’ll tell it to you but you’ve got to promise me you’re not going to cry, promise?”

“I promise.”

“It’s because stupid people live everywhere. Why, just look at Iowa, for example, but mostly stupid people live in big cities. Not all people who live in big cities are stupid, but most are. They’re stupid because they don’t have a clue where their food comes from, is why. They have no concept of the work ethic and what a backbreaking job it is to grow crops and raise chickens and animals. They think that corn come from a grocery store, or a hot dog from a hot dog stand; peas come from a can and peanuts from a sack.

“They believe Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren’s lies about how good Socialism is, not mentioning that without people who actually do the work we don’t eat. You see, the whole economic cycle works only if there’s enough food on the table, at the grocery store, in the warehouse, at the granary and holding pens, and on the farm. The loonies on the Left paint the picture that Socialism provides ‘everything’ as ‘free,’ when we all know — well, most of us know — that everything has to be paid for, that nothing is ‘free.’

“And as far as ‘God is Great’ goes, that just ain’t news, kid. Why, just look around you: just look up. If the moon doesn’t blow your socks off, what will? What about that butterfly on that flower, the one in the flower box, right behind me? What about yourself and everyone else? And how about the ‘Talking Dog?’

“I’ll answer your question: because the ‘Left-Wing’ reporters are shallow and ignorant people. They are pushing a story — adults use the word ‘narrative’ as if it’s suppose to make the lie more palatable; that is false. Islam is death, and you can talk to the cows until you’re blue in the face but there’s no way around it. As long as we have Muslims in our country we’ll have week after week of senseless murders by psychos trying to tell us what we already know: indeed, God is great, but killing people as a means to spread the news certainly isn’t the brightest idea that humans have come up with.”

“Okay: I understand. Thanks for answering my question, Mr. Turtle. There’s my train; I got to go. Bye.”

“Bye, kid.”

“Well, Bob, so you’re now officially ‘Mr. Turtle;’ how about that? What’s that? Oh, yes, our time is up and so, on behalf of the crew and everyone involved in our new and exciting format, and that includes the Rabbit, the Chief, Mr. Turtle and Yours Truly, Roving Reporter, that’s me, I’d like to wish each and every one of you a goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Great show. Burger time: my treat.”

In the Misty Moonlight



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