Yet Another Extinct Species (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2025 

(Mar. 14, 2025) — “Heart and Soul” (1:53)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Chief New Leaf is on the warpath, and he’s mighty upset so let’s see what’s up. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“Not bother with ‘How’ because already know: not how.”

“’Not how?’ Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mean I tell you, you no listen. Not you you, but you generally.”

“You mean not me but ‘them?’”

“Then it’s ‘not how them.’”

“Now that makes sense. What’s your point?”

“Point is trash this climate nonsense, focus on pollution.”

“What kind of pollution?”

“Start with ‘potty mouth’ and then go from there. Maybe make it ‘lying mouth,’ maybe go back to the tried and true ‘forked tongue’ and let it go at that.”

“Okay, at least that’s a start. We’ll start with that, with the ‘forked tongue.’”

“Fine, then. What do you say we substitute the phrase ‘climate change’ with the phrase ‘soil your own cage’ and be done with it. This WW III scare is just a sleight of hand excuse to avoid doing what’s right for expedience’s sake.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean heaven forbid if anyone would badmouth the plastic industry. Plastic pollution is bad, I tell you, an ecological ending event but there’s nowhere to run; don’t you understand? Burning dirty coal in China comes to Denver, yes? If you nuclear bomb anywhere the radiation eventually goes everywhere. You are destroying the ‘Garden of Eden,’ but you’re too darn stupid to know it and too darn blind to see it. Here, I’ll give you the example that will show you how you are accelerating the human species’ demise. Look at this (picture of bulldozers constructing a 4-lane super highway straight-dab through the center of the Amazon Rain Forest).”

“Yes, I saw that. Rather upsetting.”

“It’s the beginning of the end. The last straw. Over the edge. If you haven’t learned by now, you’ll never learn.”

“That bad?”

“Think it over; look around and tell me what you see. I see developers clear-cutting, not saving one tree, one bush, one wildflower, one blade of grass. It’s your attitude; you’re lording over what you should be ‘caring over.’ The almighty dollar is the ‘King of the Jungle’ and will be the end of us all. You want proof? Look no farther than the trail of trash left by the illegal immigrants from Panama to the United States. In the Southern United States, what used to be a pristine desert is now a landfill complete with rodents carrying deadly diseases brought to us from third-world countries, places where sanitation is nonexistent, where tuberculosis is as common as the common flea.”

“I see your point. I’m sorry we must pause for a short commercial break.”

“Honey Don’t” (2:56)

“And we’re back. Now, you were saying?”

“I was saying that the United Nations is but a money-laundering scheme to convert U.S. dollars into pounds, pesos and marks. They are a worthless organization because they spout one thing yet do another. Besides being a Muslim Admiration Society, they’re a hindrance to common sense, no matter how you look at it. Waste of time, money and a whole lot of waste of consideration. We should kick them out of our country. It was a nice thought when it was first introduced, but the corruption runs way too deep to try and save it. The last straw was the ‘Oil-for-Food’ program back in 1995. I rest my case.”

“And for the last 20 years we’ve known they were all crooks?”

“That’s right, so one can only conclude that some of the payoffs are coming our way, I mean in the pockets of corrupt Americans. Anyway, all they have to do is change this ‘climate change’ nonsense to ‘pollution’ for real and we’ll have our feet on solid ground. At least it’s a start in the right direction, but it starts right here at home and not just in the Amazon rain forest.”

“That makes sense.”

“I have one more thing to say. We may have crossed the point of no return, and that’s precisely my point. We’re playing with fire because we don’t know how much damage the earth’s ecosystem can take before it shuts down so we all die, and then in a couple million years the cycle starts all over again.”

“So, you think the human race has messed up in the past?”

“I think we’ll know as soon as we find evidence of humans having visited the moon and Mars before us.”

“I see we’ve run out of time and so this is your Roving Reporter, along with the Chief, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[Here’s a shoutout to Sen. Chuck Schumer: Retire with a splinter of decorum instead of ending your career as a colossal jerk. The sooner the better. You’re becoming the perfect poster child of the Oct. 7 crowd, aren’t you? Have you no shame, morals or decency left? I guess not. Not much of a legacy, is there?]

[Ever listen to old rock and roll tunes on a four-channel amp and all the speakers have 15” woofers? Try it.]

“Death Bell Blues” (2:51)

Roving Reporter