by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Mar. 8, 2025) — “Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” (3:25)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We heard through the grapevine that Bishop Dunkin has been promoted to Archbishop so let’s say we give him a congratulatory call?”
Sounds of dialing followed by ring, ring.
“Hello? Is that you, Roving? My phone tells me I’m getting a call from ‘Pulse.’”
“Yes, it’s me, and we’re live on air to offer congratulations on your promotion. I was just reminiscing back when you were a lowly minister.”
“Yes, those were the days.”
“So, what do we call you now?”
“I’ve decided on ‘Archie Dunkin.’ I think it has a nice ring to it, don’t you?”
“For sure.”
“And before you ask, I’m keeping the little church down on Hawthorn Street as my headquarters and expect to minister to my flock just as before. I foresee only two immediate changes. The first will be a slight increase in the rental fee of the church for weddings and plays; the second will be my speaking fee on the ‘chicken salad circuit.’ Beyond that, I don’t know; we’ll see.”
“You’ll get a pay raise, right?”
“Well, yes. The extra money will go for a new robe and hat and then I’ll increase my donations across the board.”
“Forgive me for asking, but did you write some kind of commemorative sermon for this auspicious occasion?”
“Well, you’re supposed to, something to be remembered, so I gave it a try. Want to hear it? Come by the church tonight. 8 o’clock.”
And now, by the miracle of recording, we bring you to a view from the balcony in the church down on Hawthorn Street.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to an exclusive broadcast of our newly- bestowed Archbishop among us. The archbishop is approaching the pulpit for the first time, so let’s listen in.”
“Glory halleluiah, what a day! Praise the Lord! Thank you, one and all, for sharing my first sermon as your Archbishop. Here’s the thing: I’ll make it short but memorable. The subject will be one of forgiveness, something we should do more often than not.
“Let me give you a couple of examples. By the time I forgave my wife for cheating on me she was already remarried. And here’s another one; this one you’ll remember. A young Jewish mother and her two little boys were some of those kidnapped on Oct. 7. Hamas murdered them and, as in all of Muslim executions, they recorded the beatings and murders of the baby and toddler in front of the mother before they murdered her. The Muslims recorded all the murders of the hostages, just as they recorded the beheading of Daniel Pearl back in 2003. So much for forgiveness.
“Some may question why I didn’t say ‘Hamas’ instead of ‘Muslims.’ I’ll just say this: an Iranian Muslim is the same as an Indonesian Muslim; ‘Hamas’ is the same as ‘Boko Haram’; ‘Hezbollah’ same as the ‘Houthis.’ The 1953 Muslim hatred of the Christians and Jews is the same as the Muslims’ hatred of the Jews and Christians in the time of ‘William Shakespeare’ in the 1600s and a thousand years before. Nothing has changed and nothing will ever change;s that’s just the way it is and forever will be.
“Will the Muslims ever be able to refrain from killing? Will they continue to use their ‘religion’ as a coverup for torture, rape and murder? I think we all know the answer to those rhetorical question. Do We the People understand the threat that looms before us while our politicians, law enforcement and the military go through another day with their heads in the sand? If we can recognize the threat, why can’t our elected representatives? Are we to follow in the footsteps of England and give up our freedom of speech because we want to spread the truth, to warn our fellow citizens that there’s a cult of death looming and it’s being totally ignored?
“Hijabs in commercials, made obvious, so forget the subliminal indoctrination; now it’s full-blown in your face, MAGA or no MAGA. Get used to it. Targeting the ‘Deep State’ while totally ignoring the Muslims in government jobs, in the military and even judgeships. The writing is on the wall but is anybody listening?
“And that’s my first sermon as ‘Archie Dunkin.’ Thank you for attending and making me proud to serve you. I’ve just been handed a note stating I must be addressed as ‘Archbishop Dunkin.’ Very well, I shall comply. Let us pray:
“Dear Lord, please insert a bit of common sense into those we have tasked to protect us. Let them deport the Muslims and all others who wish harm upon those who believe in the ‘Golden Rule.’ Amen.”
“And we’ve run out of time, so this is your Roving Reporter wishing everyone a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good sermon, don’t you think? I think they’ll be serving dogs and burgers in the basement; won’t you join me?”
The followers of Islam won’t stop until we’re all dead, and then they’ll turn on themselves, just as they’re doing today in Syria.
Derangement laid on the table for all to see.