by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Nov. 4, 2024) — You want to know what the Deep State looks like? Read on…
“Concerto No. 9, Op. 7 – Allegro” (2:30)
“Good evening , ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Imagine the power of the government, with all its resources, breaking into a man’s home and kidnapping his adoptive son – the rescued squirrel named ‘Peanut,’ only to euthanizing the little defenseless creature, who was no doubt afraid out of his gourd, not knowing about the Communist Governor Kathy Hochul and all the other trash bent on murder. To put it all in perspective, we asked Madam Shylock to join us. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“And thank you for the invite. Your opening said it all: if they can make a defenseless little squirrel disappear, what do you think they’ll do to you, or any of us, Democrat and MAGA alike? Same thing. Too bad the little critter couldn’t defend itself, but that’s why the Left, the Deep State, wants our guns, isn’t it?”
“That would be step 1, wouldn’t it?”
‘Yep, it will, following in the footsteps of Nazi Germany, circa the era of Adolf Hitler.”
“Look, I’m not going to mince words. Those government employees who murdered a poor defenseless little squirrel are the scum of the earth. Those are today’s Brownshirts, today’s GESTAPO; make no mistake about it, people who will follow any order, illegal or not, without question. That’s why we all must be armed so if the day ever comes that they come for us, we can fight back, fight the Deep State, fight the government goons in the only language they understand.”
“You are one brave fortuneteller.”
“Yep. If they come for me; I’m taking down as many as I can. I’m an American, not some CCP patsy. My law is the Constitution, and if anyone violates my space, they’ll pay the price, this I guarantee you, so help me God. I want to show you this. It’s a flag; it says ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ with a picture of Peanut the squirrel. How do you like it?”
“I love it. I’d be proud to run it up the flagpole.”
“I thought you say that. Here, it’s yours.”
“Why, thank you very much. And that’s all the time we have, so this is your Roving Reporter, along with Madam Shylock “Fortune Teller” (2:41), wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Garden Party” (3:58)
Roving Reporter
Here’s the update on the above editorial:
The REAL rat was exposed.
Talk about shallow.
Monica Keasler has been nominated as the most worthless human being on earth.
To complain about a squirrel having more Internet “hits” than she has got to be the epitome of a worthless life. She was jealous of a squirrel, for God’s sake.
We asked Professor Zorkophsky what kind of person would even contemplate that a lowly squirrel was somehow her “competition.” He said, “The human brain is an amazing piece of work, and this Monica Keasler character is a piece of work.”
Roving Reporter