by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Nov. 25, 2023) — “Book of Love” (2:18)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. People are slowly waking up to the fact that Muslims murder for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Muslims murder Jews and Christians, all infidels, animals, neighbors and family members — that they try and disguise the premeditated murder as an ‘honor killing’ — and every other living thing just for the sake of killing. Back in 2012 there was a presidential candidate who had a plan, and he is with us today. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the ever-popular information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for the invite, although I must say it is rather distressing that I was eventually proven to be so right.”
“And that’s a shame, it really is. You foresaw the future, but no one listened.”
“Although a few listened, not nearly enough did. My plan, as soon as I was elected, was to engage our army to deport our Muslims and then invade Canada and do the same to them.”
“Did you say ‘invade?’”
“You better believe it. What, you want missiles lobbed into the USA for no reason except to kill us? I don’t think so.”
“So, you invade Canada.”
“That’s right, kick all their Muslims O-U-T. And then send the troops to the British Isles and do the same there. And then move on to Norway, Sweden and march across Europe and do the same there, and after we’re done, come home. And do it fast, as in NOW. Move ‘em out.”
“Rawhide” (2:02)
“But that would’ve meant that Obama be deported, too.”
“Now that’s a fact.”
“But Obama won.”
“And the rest, they say, is history, but what if Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, didn’t win, what if somebody else would’ve won and made the United States and Canada and Europe free of Muslims, what then? We’ll never know, but there is someone on the horizon who, coincidentally, has the exact same plan.”
“No way.”
“Yes, way, and that person is Henry.”
“You mean…?”
“I do. So what if he’s a frog?”
“You mean he’s French?”
“No. He’s an American frog; has a history, parents and all. Many cousins.”
“I like the idea, cleansing the world, or at least the civilized countries of crazy people going around wanting to kill everything that walks, talks, and barks. Well, you’ve been a breath of fresh air and, for one, I’m glad your idea is gaining acceptance. The Dems are a problem, but what’s new, right? And so, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[From the Rumor Mill: There’s some speculation that Henry’s cape may have magical powers. Mind you, this is just talk and has yet to be substantiated, but the sister of the mayor has a daughter whose boyfriend’s cousin says that Henry’s cape can let Henry fly as fast as a jet plane. Now we all know frogs are a lot smarter than they let on, so maybe — just maybe, mind you, and I’m not saying it’s true or not, but how many frogs have you heard talk? — so maybe there’s something more going on that meets the eye is all I’m saying. As you know, Henry is a Presbyterian and supports Israel, and here I’ll quote Henry, ’til the bitter end,’ which I wholeheartedly agree with. If you’ll recall, 12 years ago Hezbollah was throwing missiles into Israel from Lebanon at which time Yours Truly volunteered to join the IDF, only to be rebuked by Netanyahu who told me, ‘You’re too old.’ I have the letter of rejection somewhere but still feel shortchanged.]
“Your Cheatin’ Heart” (2:45)