by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Jul. 13, 2023) — “Budweiser Funnel Song” (1:03)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Back from another undercover overseas assignment, Professor Wert is here to explain the mess in Ukraine. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most popular information show in its time slot.”
“Where on earth is your show, anyway, Roving? I’ve looked everywhere until the cows came home, and no one can find you anywhere. Please explain.”
“All I can say it’s one of the mysteries of the universe. So, you went to Ukraine and what did you find?”
“Are you for real? I went as far as the Internet on my computer in my office at my home and found that Ukraine is another word for ‘corrupt’ beyond anything that New Orleans ever had or, for that matter, Chicago.”
“Surely you exaggerate.”
“Not likely. Ukraine is where the Nazis ran to after WWII to escape the hangman for war crimes. It’s a dictatorship, and the only similarity it has with Biden’s administration is the love of stealing money.”
“But people need money; certainly you agree with that.”
“Don’t be stupid, Roving; of course people need money, but thy don’t need to cheat and lie and strong-arm and threaten and act as if they’re GESTAPO GOONS, and then prove it. Let me tell you a story to make my point. I knew a house builder who built in an exclusive location, but he just couldn’t do it honestly. He had to keep separate books; he required kickbacks on everything, and he had to exaggerate his billing by exorbitant amounts only to act magnanimously when he would lower the price as he submitted the bill with a smile on his face as he told them he was ‘cutting the price because they were such good customers.’ And when they found that he was a cheat, they ostracized him.”
“Excuse us while we take a short break.”
“Walk Like A Joe Biden” (2:41)
“And we’re back with Professor Wert, who is about to tell us about the mess in Ukraine. The floor is yours, Professor.”
“Thank you. Here’s the deal: it’s WWII; the Russians are fighting their way to Berlin, and the NAZI war machine is trying to stop them.”
“But that was in 1945, a few years ago. What about now?”
“Not to them. To them, it never ended; still going on. The edge the NAZIs have this time around is that the Biden Administration is footing Ukraine’s bill after taking the appropriate kickback. The old saying is, ‘Follow the money,’ right?”
“Right.”
“So, let’s see who has stock in any war machine manufacturer, shall we? Does the ‘Biden Crime Syndicate’ have a dog in the fight?”
“Dog?”
“Stock.”
“Oh, I see; yes, of course.”
“And members of Congress, most likely those who voted for the billions to Ukraine.”
“So, this Ukraine thing is all about money?”
“It is now. Look, we don’t care how it all started or who is right and who is wrong. The point is that America is making billions subsidizing the war. And that’s all we need to be concerned with; are you with me?”
“Yes, we understand that this administration is funding a ‘shell game’ scheme, and shame on our elected representatives for buying into it, pun intended.”
“It’s not a question of taking sides as long as you keep the eye on the ball, which is close our borders and deport the illegals. We don’t care at all about NAZIs and Commies, but we do care about the chemical weapons released by China. What a coincidence: Biden is owned by China. The enemy is the Obama/Biden administration; OUR enemy is our very own government. Biden is the bad guy; Joe Scarborough is the bad guy; the FAKE NEWS is bad and the election officials in Georgia need to be taken behind the woodshed and taught a lesson. If you’re a cop in Georgia I suggest you take a refresher course on the Constitution; I can’t possibly say it any more plainer than that. Russia is not the enemy, but our own Military Industrial Complex is. The Pentagon and the Joint Chiefs of Staff are our enemies. You want a photo of STUPID, just look at the JCS photo, or maybe they didn’t get the memo that MASKS DON’T WORK. Our own stupidity is our enemy, and if we’re not careful, we’ll have lost the greatest gift that our forefathers gave us: an intact Constitution.”
“Well said, Professor Wert, and with that, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[Remember to keep your eye on the ball: Taiwan; ALWAYS be armed and not helpless.]
“Mack the Knife” (3:07)