by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(May 17, 2023) — “Trump Won” (3:30)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our featured guest is a ‘professional barker’; I think I read that right. Welcome to the show, but what is a ‘professional barker?’”
“Thank you for having me on your show. Hi, mom.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t be saying ‘hello’ to your mother. Take it back.”
“Take what back?”
‘Saying ‘hello’ to your mother, that’s what.”
“No, I won’t do that; besides, it’s too late. It’s already out there; heck, in an hour or so the people on Mars will hear it.”
“There are no people on Mars.”
“Ever been there?”
“Well, no.”
“So how can you say there’s no people there?”
“Look, just say to your mother that you weren’t supposed to say ‘Hi, mom’ and we’ll call it even.”
“I can do that.”
“Good. Now, would you please tell us what a ‘barker’ is?”
“A ‘barker’ is someone who is selling an idea too good to be true.”
“Give us an example.”
“The Durham Report is a good example. Bunch of hot air with no backing. Everything in it we knew, but so what? Yes, Trump was spied on. Yes, the ‘Russian Collusion‘ was just a hoax, but we knew that. It’s like this: you know your house needs painting, so you call for a free estimate. That’s what the Durham Report is: nothing more than a free estimate.”
“That’s it?”
“That was it. Bunch of hot air, but free. No charges.”
“So, you’re a barker.”
“I write the TV commercials that should prompt you to change stations whenever they pop up.”
“So you’re the one. Okay, that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. Goodnight.
“Good show. If any of you out there need a free estimate, call Durham. Burger time: my treat.”
[Note: Any so-called ‘Republican’ running against Trump is not MAGA, and if you’re not MAGA you’re the enemy of the Constitution.]
[Another note: The Little People are on the move and as soon as I know, you’ll know.]
“Justice for All” (2:24)
Roving Reporter