by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Dec. 6, 2022) — “Who Let the Dog Out” (2:59)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our guest today is one of our soldiers who made it out of Kabul, Afghanistan, days before the United States military turned tail and ran. I understand that you want your identity protected, so we’ll just call you ‘Captain’; would that be okay with you?”

“Make it ‘Staff Sergeant,’ will you?”

“Then ‘Staff Sergeant’ it shall be. So, Staff Sergeant Roy, what have you got for us?”

“I’d rather you call me ‘Staff Sergeant Dave.’”

“That’s fine. So, Staff Sargent Dave Smith, what’s on your mind?”

“What’s on my mind is let’s forget the whole ‘identity shenanigans’ and how about addressing me by my name, Staff Sergeant Dave Watson?”

“Will do, no problem. Now, rolling along, what did you do over there in Afghanistan?”

“I oversaw the nutrition requirement of the K-7 units.”

“Don’t you mean the ‘K-9’ units?”

“Yes, I do, but we called ourselves ‘K-7’s’ to confuse the enemy, but all we did was answer questions about the ‘K-7’ designation from everyone, and not just the Taliban. I made sure that none of the ingredients of the dog chow came from China.”

“Big responsibility.”

“You tellin’ me. I ran across all kinds of labels, some saying ‘Packaged in Newark, NJ’ or ‘Assembled in Dallas, TX.’ I even had one that said, ‘Best Intentions, Peoria, Illinois,’ if you can believe that. I didn’t, so I called the 800 number: never answered, not once in two years, day or night, Monday through Friday and on weekends, too.”

“So, what did you end up doing?”

“Simple: I order frozen steaks from one of our country’s cattle ranches, that’s what. My troops had choice steaks and so did the dogs.”

“But wasn’t that expensive?”

“What kind of stupid question is that? Didn’t we just give billions to that repressive regime in Ukraine? Get real, Roving, and you’re pretending concern about a few cows. Really, now.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. What else?”

“The Deep State, the Dems, the fraudulent elections, people voting for open borders, rape trees and Fentanyl. But let me remind your viewers, the Muslims haven’t changed their stripes in the last 1,400 years. What do you think they did with all those Army dogs that Biden left behind on purpose, by design? What do you think the Muslims do to the dogs they ‘adopt’ from our humane shelters? If you can’t figure it out, I’m not going to spell it out for you, something your editor would delete anyway. All I’m going to say is that America hasn’t figured it out and it looks as if you never will. You didn’t prosecute the statue-topplers, very few election fraudsters, and if Katie Hobbs takes the governorship in Arizona, you can kiss the USA goodbye, forever and for good. You can’t fight fire with good intentions.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the Rules of Engagement in Afghanistan called for not firing back into a house that you were taking fire from, but some of the officers would call in a 500-lb. bomb from anybody in the area and END OF STORY.”

“Bet you guys liked him. What happened to him?”

Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs is said to have won the 2022 gubernatorial contest against Republican Kari Lake among multiple reports of difficulties and errors both on and before Election Day.

’Red Tagged,’ fired on the spot. Sent home and discharged on the way. The successful soldiers who were killing the enemy got kicked out. Look, who in America has the moxie to tell the truth? I’m tellin’ you, if Hobbs is allowed to cheat like Biden and all the rest of the turncoats, this Republic is finished.”

“What’s the next step, or I guess you’d call it the last step?”

“If you have to ask then it just wouldn’t do any good to ask, now would it? Bye.”

“And off he goes. Thanks for the interview. And that’ll do it for us, too. Hope you enjoyed the show, although there surely wasn’t any ‘joy’ in it, now, was there? Goodnight.”

Water” (2:56)

Roving Reporter

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  1. TRAVEL ALERT!

    Stay away from Georgia, for they believe in rape-trees and Fentanyl.

    If you deport a murderer, rapist and child molester and this person who was ‘deported’ returns and rapes, murders and molests again, was he ‘deported’ at all, or did something else happen to him, like NOTHING? The last midterm election results were the same: NOTHING.

    Brought to you by Madam Shylock’s Fortune Telling Emporium