by Roving Reporter, ©2022

Entrance to Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL (Wikimedia Commons, Spmartin15, CC by SA 4.0 International)

(Apr. 25, 2022) — “I’m a Honky Tonk Girl” (2:18)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest is a rare breed indeed, a Floridian who was born and raised right here in Florida. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most- watched information show in its time slot. So, you have some information about Mickey Mouse that you would like to share with us, is that correct? I don’t see your name on my card here.”

“Oh, sorry about that. My name is Terry and I’m a retired Palm Beach County employee who is really glad to be out of the, well, it wasn’t a rat-race; matter of fact, it wasn’t any kind of race at all unless you like races in slow motion.”

“No sense of urgency?”

“I’d say not. It was a climate where suggestions were frowned upon, change was feared and if anyone said, ‘I think there’s a better way’ was immediately sent to some reeducation camp* in the middle of the Everglades, sometimes never to be seen again. My fellow employees were as flatlined as I was, robots going through the motions, day after day, until the day of atonement.”

“Well, I guess congratulations are in order. Let’s pause for a short break.”

That’s Life” (1:43)

“Okay, go ahead and answer the question.”

“The congratulations are in order, thank you. Imagine having a job where, in order to preserve it, you’re required to keep a zipped lip every day for 30 years. Heartbreaking: it really grinds you down, but, luckily for me, not all the way, which is why I’m on your show today, to talk about the hype of the Disney brand, which is nothing more than a rodent as the mascot of a county carnival. But instead of ‘Here one week and gone the next,’ it’s the people who come and go, not the carnival.”

“So, there’s nothing special about Disney?”

“Only if you’re a student of marketing.”

“That’s it?”

“And crowd control, which is a polite way of saying ‘to separate the people from their money.’.Look, there’s no doubt about the success of a big airport, plenty of motels and a Magic Kingdom beckoning kids to get induced wishes answered.”


“And not just the kids. Anyway, I always told the foreigners to skip Disney and visit the Grand Canyon. I wonder if any of them took me up on that.”

“That’s a good one: visit the Grand Canyon or have your picture taken with a short person wearing a Minnie Mouse costume. And will you just look at the time? That’ll do it for us and so, on behalf of Terry, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Reeducation camp: Socialist brainwashing, similar to what our kids learn at university or, for that matter, any school that accepts public money.]

Since I Met You Baby” (2:49)

Roving Reporter

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