by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Apr. 11, 2022) — “You Made Me So Very Happy” (4:17)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us is none other than Professor Zorkophsky, eminent shrink, author and all-around good guy who has been on the ‘anti-pill crusade’ against the VA on how it treats its PTSD patients. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“Thank you, Roving, always glad to make the time to be on your show on short notice whenever one of your guests bails.”

“Yes, of course. Well, be that as it may, any new books on the horizon?”

“A couple, one about the lowly tomato plant. Did you know that it used to be called the ‘love apple?’ And another one about PTSD which I think you’d find interesting.”

“How so?”

“Because you’re a nut, too. I mean, you used to have nightmares and a failed marriage because of it; am I right?”

“Too true.”

“I brought a tape of one of my interviews, so if you’ll play if for me?”

“Roll it.”

“As you can see, we’re in my office and that there on the screen is Robert Camp, a Gulf War Veteran; I’m off-camera, asking the questions.

“So, you said that you’re depressed; aren’t we all?”

“I suppose. What’s that over there in the corner, a camera on a tripod? Are you recording me?”

“I am, after all, a bestselling author of psychiatry textbooks for the layman shrink so, yes, I record every interview to refer to as I write. If you have a problem with that, I’ll turn it off and rely on the hidden camera over there in the other corner, that is, if you don’t mind?”

“Just wondered, that’s all. Go ahead and record, as long as you don’t make it public; I wouldn’t want my ex-wife, Dea, to see it.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll never see it. Now, you were saying something about depression.”

“Well, here it is in a nutshell: I’m beginning to feel that my stint in the military serving my country was a complete waste of time, nothing more than an excuse for military contractors to gouge us taxpayers besides I risked my life and for what? So Pelosi can be paid millions in bribes and kickbacks? A failed election? Biden and Pelosi should be behind bars.”

“Welcome to the club; we all feel that way.”

“Really?”

What, you think you have the ‘military regret’ cornered? Let me clue you in: running out of Vietnam with our tail between our legs was bad, but how we left Afghanistan upset even the ex-military who voted for Biden, if you can believe that.”

“That I don’t believe. Everyone knows that Biden-Harris is a couple of pinko, well, pinkos. No, it goes deeper than a regret, I feel. Let me tell you this: the other day, when that other pinko, KB Jackson, was voted into the Supreme Court, I had never felt ashamed to be a citizen of my country, but I do now. That’s bad, isn’t it?”

“No, not at all. The exploitation of children used to be a capital offense: ‘Sparky,’ the electric chair, was a just end to such people. Pedophiles didn’t faze Jackson in the least, I’m ashamed to say. How another human being can sit back and let it happen to those children is beyond me. You’re not alone, not by a long shot. Our country is going to the dogs, so to speak, and not even Trump can put the pieces back together. Heck, what do you think Omar and Tlaib are in Congress for, to uphold the Constitution? On the contrary, they would like nothing better than to trash our Constitution and give us Sharia Law.”

On loudspeakers.”

“See all those dead dogs in Ukraine? Russians don’t kill dogs, but Muslim-Russians do.”

“I’m not feeling any better.”

“Look at it this way: if it were a perfect world we wouldn’t have any illegal immigrants or Muslims within the borders of our country, but because half of us hate the USA there’s not a heck of a lot we can do except arm ourselves and don’t bother the police or you’ll end up like that woman did in Minneapolis: shot dead by a Muslim cop.”

“And he’s out now, isn’t he? He murders her in cold blood and walks. So much for justice.”

“It is the end of civilization, piece by piece. A little here, a little there and before you know it our country is no more. We tear down our statues; we erase our history; we sweep the shelves of our libraries so succeeding generations can’t understand that they’re paving the way to their own destruction. They lack the mental ability to foresee the future; they can’t think hypothetically, they can only think what they are told to think: ‘Orange Man Bad,’ which translates into the ‘Constitution bad,’ a flawed document that was written by white men.”

“I agree.”

“Well, that proves that you’re not alone, but there’s far too few of us and far too many of them. Besides, they mean to take us over while we’re acting like a bunch of wimps, and if Jackson doesn’t mean the bottom of the barrel, then you tell me what does.”

“What do you mean there’s more of them than of us?”

“What I mean is that the Deep State will win unless we fight fire with fire, and because ‘Pulse’ is a family show I can’t be any more explicit than to say if we don’t get down in the gutter and eviscerate them before they do the same to us, we’ll lose our Republic.”

“But they control everything, don’t they? They control the military – vax mandates, the FBI and who knows what, including the Fake News.”

“As a Marine gunny once told me in Japan, in Yokosuka, just south of Yokohama: ‘Be parsimonious in your water and your ammo.’”

“That’s it?”

“We do what we can. And that’s where it ends.”

“And we’ll end it there, too, so, on behalf of Professor Zorkophsky…”

“Excuse me, please. I’d rather you call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere; wouldn’t you agree?”

“By all means. Okay, on behalf of Zork, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Sayonara” (2:36) beautiful sax solo worth the listen


Roving Reporter

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