by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Jan. 11, 2022) — “One Shoe Blues” (4:56)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we have a real treat, a government whistleblower, Kathy Rybinski, who says she will reveal the truth behind government hiring practices. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“And thank you for having me, although I can’t believe I’m here. You see, ‘Pulse’ is one of the many shows that are verboten because you don’t follow the government’s narrative.”

“What does that mean?”

“Lies, the government’s lies. Believe it or not, there was once upon a time when you could trust the government, but ever since the publication of the Pentagon Papers that fantasy was finally put to rest.”

“So, you said you had some rather revealing information you wanted to share with us.”

“I most certainly do and I like to present it with this short film clip that I’ve put together for you made up of different interviews, if that would suit you.”

“Okay, fair enough and we’ll run it after this short break.”

Muss i denn” (2:38)

“And we’re back with Miss Kathy, a government whistleblower who will share a short film with us. Run it.

The black and white film shows a small room with desk and two chairs. Sitting behind the desk is the interviewer who says, ‘Next,’ and in walks a young man wearing a suit.

“Please, have a seat.”

“You want me to sit on the chair or on the floor?”

“Whichever you prefer.”

“I think I prefer the chair, but if you would prefer I sit on the floor, I’ll do so.”

“Good answer. Go ahead and use the chair. Now, it says here that you wear your tie backwards.”

“Yes, that is true.”

“But your tie seems to be in the front.”

“Oh, sorry; my mistake.”

“Do you, by any chance, speak German?”

“I know a few words, so yes, I speak German a little.”

“Would you follow an illegal order?”

“Ja, mein Kapitän!”

“You’re hired.”

“That was very entertaining, Miss Kathy. Is that about how they all go?”

“We only hire the best; why, just look at Jen Psaki, one who follows the party line hook, line and sinker.

Press Secretary Jen Psaki takes questions from reporters during a press briefing Monday, Feb. 1, 2021, in the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House. (Official White House Photo by Chandler West, public domain)

“I see. Well, I’ll send you on your way. Bye. Wow, if that doesn’t concern you I don’t know what does. Let’s take a well-deserved break and start all over again.”

That’ll be the Day” (2:19)

“And we’re back. I have to apologize to our audience: I’m sorry; maybe we could’ve learned a lot more from that government whistleblower, but that was just a little bit too scary for my tastes. We moved out to the sidewalk and we’re standing in front of a shoe store about to bother an unsuspecting shopper. Excuse me, Roving for ‘Pulse’; mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a TV camera.”

“Looks like he’s holding up a phone to me.”

“It’s a dual-purpose electronic device. What’s with the mask?”

“Why, for protection? What else?”

“Do you have any idea how small a virus is?”

“Yes, matter of fact I do. I know this mask, in relation to the Chinese biological weapon, COVID-19, is the same as a chain-link fence to a grain of sand, but I don’t wear it for that. I wear if for compliance so the crazy people leave me alone.”

“You mean the ‘compliance police?’”

“Yes, that’s who.”

“But why? I mean, why bother?”

“Because I no longer have a brain, that’s why. I just go along to get along.”

“Some life.”

“I no longer have a brain.”

“Let me ask you this: do you, by any chance, work for the government?”

“How’d you know?”

“And that’ll do it for us, so I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Another one in the can. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: I’m sworn to secrecy.]

I Threw it All Away” (2:24)

Roving Reporter

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