by Chief New Leaf, ©2021 

(Dec. 11, 2021) — “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (3:39)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. No matter how any of us divides up the world, we always end up right where we started, at ‘Square One,’ meaning that no matter where we go or what we do, we can’t get away from ourselves. Our thoughts, hopes and desires are encased within a bone ball that we call a ‘skull,’ and say what you will, the only difference between us and other living organisms is that we found a way to store food longer than a fish or a cat. Some may say that a whale has yet to produce a printing press, but then maybe whales don’t need printing presses to get along. With us today is the one person who can sort it out for us, Professor Zorkophsky, who just wrote another book on the, well, here’s the title: ‘The Human Psyche and What to Make of It.’ Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“Thank you, Chief, for the warm and heartfelt introduction. It is always a pleasure to be on Pulse, where I’m allowed to hawk my latest bestseller unabashedly. And please, Chief, address me as ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.”

“Than ‘Zork’ it shall be. So, what of the human psyche? How’s it doin’?”

“My calendar is full until the year 2221. No, just kidding, but there are so many deranged nuts out there I’m booked for years to come. Most of my patients are hopeless beyond reproach, meaning there’s no hope for them, not even a smidgen, even if they were hit over the head with a cattle prod, which I am forced to do every now and then, especially the ones who cried when Hillary lost.”

“Really? You use a cattle prod?”

“Have to, I mean, they are so far out there somebody has to get their attention. BLM believers are in the same category.”

“And what category would that be?”

“Those who can’t read or, if they can read, fail to comprehend. I’m talking about the Constitution. Look, it’s not our fault if they fail to grasp the significance of the document. The word ‘equal’ applies to everyone, male and female alike. But the American Indian seems to have been forgotten.”

“You tellin’ me? Show me one television commercial with an Indian or a wigwam in it. Before we went on air, you mentioned your professional concern about the increase of crazy people, and as a specific you mentioned that an open border is an invitation for disaster. You also mentioned that Democrats favor higher gas prices, that they are proud of the Keystone Pipeline shutdown and welcome inflation, not to mention of how proud they are of us finally leaving Afghanistan and that the $85 billion-worth of war goodies left behind and 13 lives lost was well worth it.”

“That is true. Everyone who got The Jab, if not already crazed, will become more crazed; reflexes slowed; cognitive ability decreased; manual dexterity diminished; miscarriages; drooling; stumbling and a heart attack at 15. Kids don’t get the Chinese biological warfare weapon COVID-19 in the first place, so why do they need to be fake vaccinated from it?”

“Now that’s a good question. What do you say we take a commercial break? Be right back.”

To You Sweetheart, Aloha!” (2:41)

“And we’re back with Professor Zorkophsky of ‘Trash the masks’ fame, the eminent bestselling author of psychiatry textbooks for the layman and also the prenote speaking at PTSD symposiums. And speaking of PTSD, do you have a chapter or two on that subject in your latest soon-to-be bestseller?”

“Yes, Chief, I most certainly do. It is the most asked-about subject I get, as if I have some sort of cure.”

“Well, don’t you?”

“No, not by a long shot. You see, everyone’s life experience is different, from birth until whatever knocked their life out of whack. Some have flashbacks while others have nightmares; some have low self-esteem while others seek revenge; some talk about it while others shut themselves off from the world. Now the real nuts have all those symptoms, and the recommended treatment, in my professional opinion, is the same: find at least two others who have the same type of problem and hang out together.”

“I understand that you had PTSD and a couple of friends to help out.”

“That is true, let’s call them John and Rod, and they helped a lot. I do not recommend pills; trust me on that one.”

“You have mentioned to us before the importance of an understanding spouse.”

“That is true, but if the PTSD sufferer won’t open up, a spouse isn’t the answer. A spouse is but a tool to assist the wounded become unwounded.”

“I notice you use a lot of terms that are not usually associated with professional psychiatrists, words like ‘nut’ and ‘unwounded.’ Are they part of the new lexicon of today’s psychiatry?”

“For sure; I mean, even the discipline of us ‘Nut Mechanics’ has to keep up with the times.”

“I haven’t heard that one before, ‘Nut Mechanic.’ Is that new?”

“A Doctor is a ‘Body Mechanic’; dentist a ‘Tooth Mechanic’ and a psychiatrist a ‘Nut Mechanic.’ Just made it up.”

“I see. So, you once said that PTSD is never cured, that the best anyone can hope for is remission. You said you helped yourself, how?”

“Hello, oh, sorry, I misunderstood you. How I did it was to isolate myself, which destroyed my family, and I’m truly sorry for that, but at least I didn’t eat a bullet. The price was high, but I thought that I was doing the right thing at the time. Of course I can’t look back on it because had I stayed I wouldn’t have made it, trust me, which is something they’ll never understand but those who have or have had PTSD will understand exactly what I’m saying.”

“So you’re saying that PTSD takes over a person’s life, their whole life, 24-7?”

“You better believe it. PTSD sufferers become paranoid beyond belief; have persecution fantasies that would be the envy of novelists. It took me years before I convinced myself I wasn’t on another planet when I got back to ‘The World.’

“So you’re not cured?”

“I don’t know if there is a cure; all I know is that the human psyche presents itself with some sort of ‘coping mechanism’ as a form of defense to survive.”

“Can anything dislodge this ‘coping mechanism?’”

“You better believe it. A fraud of an election and the lies about masks and ‘The Jab’ will sure as heck do it, if it hasn’t already done so to thousands out there, even myself. I’ll tell you this: I, for one, am mighty sick and tired of the government lying to us. They lied about Biden being president and Harris the VP; they lied about the history of COVID; they lied about the lockdown; they lied about the vaccine; they lied about all those left behind in Afghanistan; they lied about January 6 and you can bet your bottom dollar they are lying to us now because it may very well be our bottom dollar as we rush toward a Venezuela-North Korean type of totalitarian state.”

“You don’t seem to pull any punches.”

“Neither do they.”

“Well-put and with that, on behalf of Zork, this is Chief New Leaf wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: on the move.]

O Holy Night” (2:12)

Chief New Leaf   

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