by Roving Reporter, ©2021 

Wikimedia Commons, GNU Free Documentation License

(Nov. 22, 2021) — “Stand By Me Jesus” (3:08)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest is a retired government ‘cunning fake news expert’ who will tell us, first, what he really did for his paycheck, and then, second, what his biggest accomplishment was. Glad to have you on ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

“Well, now, my wife said to keep my name classified. She said she didn’t want any goons, oh, sorry; she said she didn’t want any GESTAPO, oh, again, sorry; she said she didn’t want any FBI agents using a battering ram on our front door, is what she said. She reminded me that she picked out the door herself at a specialty front door store and had it painted Old Glory Red’ by a professional front door painter. You can call me ‘Jim.’”

“Okay Jim, but do you know that’s a TV camera over there?”

“So? Give me a break; do you think any idiot government employee watches “Pulse’ or Dr. Gina or Bannon’s War Room? No, they get their ‘news’ from the government TV stations — you know, MSNBC, CNN and the rest of the Fake News stations. I know this show is printed and disseminated by The P&E, which is why I don’t want you to use my real name.”

“So your wife is concerned about an FBI raid?”*

“Let me put it to you this way: Roger Stone was concerned for his wife’s life, okay?”

“Yes, and he really was because I saw the interview the next day, poor guy. You know, the FBI and, as a whole, law enforcement, has lost all the respect they once had. Did you see the night Baltimore burned? On TV we saw cops standing on the corners watching looting and arson; same in Seattle, Chicago and everywhere. Portland, Oregon. If I were one of the cops I would have arrested the mayor, to start.”

“Don’t forget the mayors of all the sanctuary cities.”

“I haven’t. So, what exactly did you do for the government?”

“I thought you were going to say something else, maybe as a concerned citizen.”

“Oh, yeah, right. I was just going to say one of these days the GESTAPO is going to bust down the wrong door, is all. Maybe they’ll barge into the home of a combat Veteran with PTSD and there’ll be no donuts, some crème-filled, waiting for them. I’ll say this: 10% of the government employees are good. hard-working and honest but, my God, they all ought to know by now that the election was a fraud. I mean, are they really that dumb?”

“Yes, they are, and I ought to know because I made them that way. Well, not me personally, but I supported the Deep State’s brainwashing of them, all the way from public school to university. You see, it has nothing to do with brains; why, I know some very smart people who believe in The Jab.”

“And you think they’re smart?”

“Well, maybe they can fly a plane or run a billion-dollar company, but they got The Jab anyway, even with all the facts about an experimental and dangerous drug – not a vaccine, as they say — so maybe they’re not as smart as I thought.”

“Tell us, if you would, please, what did you actually do for the government?”

“I made up lies. First a little lie, then a bigger one. I wish I would’ve made up the Russian Collusion Hoax; that was Hillary’s and it was a doozy, lasted years. No, I just did the ‘Republic will last forever,’ which it won’t. The way it’s going it won’t last by the next decade — just look at our military, sitting on the sidelines when LTC Terry Lakin was put through the wringer in his kangaroo Court Martial. I thought the whole military would rise up, but not a peep. Trump tried to make the military great, but just look at our Joint Chiefs of Staff. What a joke.”

“And that kid, Rittenhouse, was doing a man’s job, a job we hired the police to do. Had the cops done their job, Rittenhouse would’ve been home watching TV. Those cops were hired to protect property and to keep the peace: allowing people to riot does not make a lick of sense.”

“That’s right, isn’t it? Rittenhouse showed the way: if you want protection, be armed. Expecting the police to do their jobs is asking a little too much these days, apparently. Look, we need the police to be the police, and not some armed private enforcement of left-wing loony mayors. Goodnight.”

Grease: Central Station Antwerp” (4:13)

The following is a Special Announcement from Professor Zorkophsky:

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT:

The Chinese biological weapon, COVID-19 and kissing cousin, THE JAB, was designed to kill or, at the very least, do as much short and long-lasting harm as possible, so STAY AWAY from them.

Thank you. Just pay attention and you’ll be just fine (wash your hands and keep your hands away from your face, normal good hygiene practice).

Professor ‘Trash the masks’ Zorkophsky

[*FBI raid: see Sherronna Bishop.]

First in Line” (3:58)

Roving Reporter

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