by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021
(Apr. 23, 2021) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we have a person who is certainly no stranger, the Vietnam Veteran, who has an important announcement to share with us. So, what’s up?”
“Hello, Professor; thanks for inviting me to be on your show.”
“Please call me ‘Zork.’ I believe it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.”
“Yes, of course. Now, about that important announcement?”
“By all means.”
“What we’ve done is to take the Neighborhood Watch and make it into an early warning system, you know, for the possibility of the government’s gun confiscation program.”
“What plan is that? I haven’t heard of any ‘abolishing the Second Amendment’ plan yet.”
“Just wait; you will. Now I’d like to switch the topic, if I may. I’d like to talk about the government not being our government, okay? What we have today is a bunch of county employees who follow no law and answer to no one, and that’s the truth.”
“Could you please be a little bit more specific?”
“You mean besides pointing out the obvious? Give me a break. It’s like playing an old record that’s stuck in a groove: we don’t want any jihadists and illegal immigrants. Pick up the phone, ‘Hey, Senator, how about kicking out the so-called ‘migrants’ and the illegals?’ Or maybe write a letter:‘Dear Representative: How about doing your job and protecting us?’ Fat chance ‘cause they’re all in the same boat; Republicans are now officially ‘RINOs.’”
“You don’t have a very high opinion of our nation’s lawmakers, do you?’’
“You mean ‘lawbreakers.’ Look around you and tell me what you see. If you don’t see the television spewing out lie after lie from programs to commercials 24-7, then you’re not paying attention and became part of the problem. Ever hear of ‘subliminal suggestion?’”
“You mean like ‘brainwashed?’ What was that movie, the ‘Manchurian Candidate?’“
“That’s right, but it’s not just during the commercials now; it’s ALL the time, 24-7, as I just said.”
“The obvious: ‘Biden is president’; ‘Harris is eligible’; ‘China is our friend’; ‘guns are bad.’”
“Really? How come you can hear it and nobody else can?”
“BEEP, you’re wrong: everybody is hearing it; you just have to be paying attention, is all I can say. Look, my wife is a songwriter so she has all kinds of gadgets: you know, stuff to record with.”
“This is getting interesting; go on.”
“So one day I recorded a television program; I just plugged in the microphone and hit ‘record’ on all 24 channels. And then I played it back by breaking down the frequencies of each channel. I did that by cutting the sound except for, say, the blowing of the wind or a horse walking ‘clip-clop’ or people talking. With her machine I could break down the sound to a 10-hertz spread, the machine is actually that precise.”
“Sounds like an expensive machine.”
“Well, it probably was when new but we picked it up at a pawn shop for a couple of hundred. And there it was, the subliminal messages, played over and over again whenever there was some other noise going on, like talking, for instance. Not all the time, but enough times to pick it out. The latest is, ‘get vaccinated.’ I burned it to a CD in case you want to hear it.”
“You want the truth? If we play it the FCC will yank our broadcasting license faster than you can say ‘Jackie Robinson’ and probably send in the cops to confiscate it for being ‘subversive paraphernalia’ or some other hogwash.”
“Well, just the same, here it is. I must skedaddle; bye.”
“Off he goes. Next up is another old friend, Professor Wert. Thanks for filling in on the abrupt departure of our featured guest, the Vietnam Vet. Do you also have an earth-shattering announcement?”
“Do you mean to say that I’m an ‘old friend’ because I’m what you consider ‘old,’ or is it because we’ve known each other for a few decades?”
“The latter; now about that announcement?”
“Okay, you asked for it. We, meaning us human beings, and when I say ‘human beings’ I’m including males and females entirely equally, understand?”
“Oh, I understand but do they?”
“No, of course not. Anyway, if I may continue, us human beings all, each of us, male and female…”
“You already said that.”
“So I did. Anyway, all of us — think about this — all of us live on a sea of molten lava.”
“I thought lava was molten to start with.”
“Maybe I misspoke; suffice it to say we live on a sea of hot rock; would that be alright with you?’
“That we live on a sea of hot rock? No way.”
“Get used to it. But that’s not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was that, if the votes during the last election were honest, then there would be no reason to thwart any recount; am I right?”
“I take it you’re referring to the recount going on in Arizona, right?”
“I think you’re 100% correct, and everywhere else, for that matter. Look, if the election was honest there would be nothing to hide, and because there is something to hide, the ones who cheated are doing everything in their power to stop the recount.”
“That is true. Go on.”
“Ergo, voicing opposition to a recount is an admission of guilt, and admission of guilt means that the election was a fraud, and because the election was a fraud Biden was not elected; Trump was.”
“So you’re saying anyone who opposes a recount is admitting that Trump is their president? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“That’s right: Trump is our president, but we don’t want Mike Pence on the scene. We want an outsider who can’t be bought, just like Trump. We don’t want no politician: Mike Lindell comes to mind.”
“Well, now, that is an interesting thought: Trump-Lindell. You know, I like it, sure a lot better than Biden-Harris, or even Trump-Pence. It’s that time when we thank you for watching, folks, and now we’ll say goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”