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by OPOVV, ©2020

“The fallen Christopher Columbus statue outside the Minnesota State Capitol after a group led by American Indian Movement members tore it down in St. Paul, Minnesota, on June 10, 2020,” Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 2.0

(Oct. 16, 2020) — “Mirie it is While Sumer Ilast” (2:46)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we’re going to interview a man who is no stranger to our past viewers* and current listeners, Professor Zorkophsky. Welcome to the show, Professor.”

“Glad to be here hawking my latest bestseller, Roving. Oh, by the way, please call me ‘Zork.’ I wish I could show the folks my latest gadget but I could quickly describe it, if that would be okay.”

“I’m sure our listeners would like nothing more.”

“Thank you. Picture a miniature 1959 Edsel without the wheels and tires; that’s just the way it came out.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a device to measure the distance to the moon from wherever you are: all you do is point it at the moon – line of sight – and wait for the numbers to appear on the screen. Look here: push this button and it reads kilometers; push it again and it’ll display miles. A great stocking-stuffer.”

“Wow; makes one wonder how we ever got along without one. Tell us about your book after this commercial message.”

Swallowtail Jig” (1:33)

“First a little background: humans – actually, all life forms —  are dynamos; that is to say, all life forms produce electricity. I say, ‘If it makes juice, it’s alive.’”

“You say that?”

“Don’t be rude. What makes the electricity in our bodies flow easily is water. We need water; mice and giraffes need water. Some of us are short-circuited, maybe some of us need more water; I don’t know. The Dems may need more water than the Republicans. By the way, Trump Derangement Syndrome may be prevented by drinking water and believing in facts rather than lies.”

“I see you have a chapter titled ‘Regenerative Memory.’ Mind explaining that one?”

“That’s under the heading of ‘Dreams and imagination.’ It is my theory that some dreams are generated by a collective memory that our species carries from time immemorial. Now as far as imagination goes, there are more things out in space than even the most imaginative stargazer could ever come up with.”

“So what’s the bottom line of your book? Why should we buy it?”

“The bottom line is that we’re all in this together, meaning we are a species that lives with other species; that we are dynamos surviving with other dynamos and that if we upset the apple cart we may very well put our ability to produce our electricity in jeopardy that’s needed to keep us alive.”

“This time in English, please.”

“Clear-cutting; strip mining; decimating the Amazon Rain Forest, coupled with over-population that, at least thus far, abuses the resources of our home is bad.”

“What do you mean by saying ‘bad?’”

“Our trash, that’s what. One would think that we would make stuff that is recyclable, 100% of it, that’s what I ‘m saying. Eliminate trash: save our oceans.”

“So you’re an environmentalist.”

“I would say that I’m a humanist. I would say that what we’re doing, starting with our country, is to do the right thing for us, just as the English and the Dutch must do the right thing for themselves.”

“That makes perfect sense; so how do you suppose we start?”

“Since a country is, first of all, defined by borders, bring back the borders between the European countries. Second, let each country decide their own future by having their own laws. Third, and perhaps the most important, reverse the so-called ‘migration’ and send everybody back where they came from during the last 20 years.”

“You mean deport people.”

“You said it, and I agree wholeheartedly. And don’t sit around and talk about it; discuss it; have endless closed hearings; endless open hearings; debates about what is right and what is wrong; town meetings: just do it.”

“What about DACA?”

“Give me a break. Look, let’s at least make an effort to try and act like adults and not some flaming liberal Dem. By the way, the Dems say they are progressive, right?”


“How can you be progressive on the one hand and on the other take away freedoms? How is it even remotely possible to equate the two?”

“Okay, I get the point.”

“The point is that, as a species, as citizens of a country, as a specific group of people (within a set of boundaries) on the spaceship that we call Earth, it would be in our best interest to be on the same page on any issue that would benefit us in the short run and also in the long. I mean, just think about it: what would our country be like if we were all for the Constitution, the rule of law and order, didn’t drive under the influence of drugs, and didn’t have any Muslims and illegal immigrants? Would it be better or as it is now, with the destruction of statues, burning and looting, and Democratic mayors allowing it all to happen?”

“And it is getting worse, as if we are somehow immune to what is going down in Venezuela.”

“It certainly seems so. It is the viewpoint of the world through the eyes of Hollywood: ‘systemic racism’ when in actuality it is nothing more than ignorance. And by the way, the FBI is tainted beyond redemption: give them all a pink slip and let the U.S. Marshals carry the banner for truth and justice.

“And the answer is?”

“Support the man who is making America great again, because second place is the GESTAPO breaking down your door to confiscate your guns, and that’s just for starters. Thank you for taking the time to hawk your new book. By the way, what’s the title?”

“The title is, ‘The Aboriginal Dreamscape Interpreted by a Western Shrink.’”

“Great title. Okay, thank you for being here and we’ll be saying goodnight: Goodnight.

“Another great show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*past viewers: we’ve had a number of inquiries when we expect to be back on television. The short answer is don’t hold your breath; the long answer is that our equipment was destroyed and the (TV) future is looking dim. We are very fortunate to have access to the General’s shortwave set and the continued support of The P&E.]

Jambalaya” (2:53)



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