by Chief New Leaf, ©2021 

(Mar. 5, 2021) — “Come Rain or Come Shine” (1:47)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Let me say from the get-go that I’ve heard the phrase, ‘The only good Indian is a dead Indian,’ and so I just saved you all the trouble of saying it again. And then if any of you say or believe in ‘Black Lives Matter,’ go read Tom Sawyer*, that is if you can even read, a question not without merit.

“Hello, I’m Chief New Leaf, and if you believe that ignoring the past guarantees a better future, then let me say that you’re going to have one disappointing life and, as you pass, you’ll be the saddest person on earth. Now if it makes you feel better toppling a statue, any statue, ALL statues, you’ll be falling into the Islam way of thinking: there is no past; there is no future; but there is suffering in the here and now. Now please excuse us for a short commercial break.”

All About that Bass” (4:14)

“As you know, ‘Pulse’ has been blessed with a number of gifted correspondents, with Madam Shylock near the top of the list, and she’ll be our guest tonight. Glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything, Chief. You were talking about ignoring the past, which is something only nitwits, the ignorant and the stupid take part in. That reminds me, when Nikki Haley took down the Confederate Battle Flag from South Carolina’s State Capitol, she wasn’t doing anybody any favors.”

“Now why do you say that?”

“First of all, the whole idea of the Civil War was fought over States’ Rights. Look, slavery in the South was on its way out for a number of compelling reasons, such as the invention of the cotton gin and steam power, and the cost of housing, feeding and health care didn’t make it all that profitable for a slave owner.”

“Not to mention the social stigma of owning a slave.”

“That’s right, which is why the soldiers of the Confederate army were not slave owners, not by a long shot. They just didn’t cotton to being told what to do by a bunch of Yankees, that’s all.”

“Right, which is why the Civil War is perhaps the prime example of the end result of the breakdown of failed negotiations.”

“Too true. One could say that those who advocate reparations and free tuition are brainwashed, brain-dead and brainless and be right on the money.”

“Here’s what’s happening: the enemy is at the door, through the door and in our homes. The enemy is dead set on destroying our past, from Dr. Seuss to the Second Amendment. Remember this: without the Second, we won’t have any of the others. But like they say about a vacuum: human nature abhors a vacuum, so as soon as something in our culture is trashed, something else takes its place immediately.”

“So what takes the place of an empty pedestal, one where a horse stood?”

“The belief that the here and now is more important than memories, is what. You see, most people are followers, and that’s a fact. Now if everyone would take the time to be informed, well, Biden wouldn’t be president, now would he?”

“Of course not.”

“Which means most people are not only not informed, but they’re just too darn lazy to care to learn the truth. That’s a sorry excuse to go through life stupid and crying because Trump trashed the incompetent ex-Secretary of State, who got our Ambassador tortured and murdered, as bad as he trashed Biden.”

“Don’t forget Seal Team Six.”

“And made war on Libya and had Muammar Gaddafi murdered.”

“Look, all lives matter, the Constitution matters and we can’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that we lack the resources to pay a bunch of ungrateful migrants to scam our system, is what; it means that we can’t keep on printing money; it means that if you speak bad about the USA we’ll target you with a cruise missile, but that’s all. You want to burn effigies of Uncle Sam, fine: we’ll rain down destruction from the sky, but our troops will stay home protecting our borders and assist on deporting illegal immigrants and each and every Muslim from within our shores.”

“It sounds as if rewriting history is a dangerous game.”

“You better believe it because you don’t know where they’ll stop. Remember when that Attorney General** said that all Veterans were Domestic Terrorists? So much for our Constitution, which is why today’s cops have never served in the military: mayors want allegiance to them rather to the Constitution.”

“We live in precarious times, indeed.”

“If Biden were a man, a man of integrity and honor, he would admit the error of his ways and welcome Trump back to the White House, but Biden is a lying two-faced scoundrel and there’s no two ways about it. All I’ve got to say is, Woe to us. The chances of Biden being part of the salvation of Western Civilization is fast diminishing, isn’t it?”

“Too bad he doesn’t have the brains that God gave him.”

“Yes, squandering an opportunity of a lifetime. Trump didn’t squander one New York minute, did he?”

“He burned out guys and gals half his age. We needed Trump then and we need him now, and with that we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Tom Sawyer: The thought police are alive and not well at all: they’re sick, suffering from a disease known through the ages as “denial,” as if going through life stupid is an attribute.]

[**AG Janet Napolitano: she only folded due to all the blowback. Then she had the nerve to run for governor of FL.]

The Soldier’s Return” (3:30)

Chief New Leaf

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