by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021
(Feb. 13, 2021) — “Love is Strange” (2:48)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The world is a more dangerous place than it was ever before, and with us tonight is a guest who needs no introduction to tell us why.”
“How come no introduction?”
“Because we’re back on television, that’s why, so people can see the feathers sticking out of your hair.”
“But what if they don’t know me to start with; what then?”
“Maybe at some point I’ll address you as ‘Chief New Leaf’ and mention that you’re of the Cherokee Nation, that you have a pretty darn nice RV and believe in the Constitution and Trump.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“Very well. I am here to explain to you white people why you are so crazy.”
“Wait; does ‘white people’ include other people?”
“Totally inclusive; all are given an equal opportunity to make a mess of their lives; there are no exemptions; nobody gets a ‘free pass.’”
“Nobody? So some nitwit can’t play the ‘race card’‘”
“And can’t palm the joker out of a cuff. Face it: you can’t cheat and expect to get away with it.”
“But those BLM fools seem to, or don’t they?”
“They’ll get theirs in the end, trust me. But here’s the thing: by the time they realize they shot themselves in the foot, we too will feel the effects. It would be one thing if they could keep their mistakes to themselves, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.”
“And that’s the soliloquy that I was looking for to introduce the topic at hand that we’ll get to after this commercial. For those of you reading the transcript of the show, Molly, our secretary, will have picked out a favorite of hers for your listening pleasure.”
“Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime” (2:40)
“And we’re back with Chief New Leaf, who visits all the Indian reservations in the lower forty-nine; is that how you say it?”
“It is indeed.”
“So how come the world is a more dangerous place today than it was yesterday?”
“It’s a one-word answer: M-O-N-E-Y.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?”
“Well, since that’s the answer, I’ll be hitting the road. Look, if you let crazy people have a lot of money, you end up with George Soros: end of story. By the way, why hasn’t Soros been deported as a NAZI war criminal? Don’t answer; it’s a rhetorical question. As I said, I’m out of here. Thanks for having me on.”
“And there he goes. Well, it looks like we have to find another guest to fill the empty void between commercials, like this one.”
“Love Me Tender” (2:50)
“What do you say we step outside and see who we can waylay? There’s a likely target. Excuse me, care to be interviewed on live TV?”
“What, at three o’clock in the morning? Are you crazy?”
“No, I’m an eminent professor of modern-day psychology conducting interviews for ‘Pulse,’ an award-winning information show. So, please tell us your name and your views on why we’re worse off now than before.”
“Before what? Ah-ha! Got you. Anyway, my name is Sam but you can call me Stan. I’m a well-known writer. I can’t tell you my pseudonym due to contract obligations, but I’m free to speak freely otherwise.”
“How is it being a writer? I mean, is it hard work or what?”
“Think of playing chess, then think of the little words like ‘a’ and ‘the’ as pawns and the bigger words, like ‘elephant,’ as castles.”
“Which word would be a king?”
“King? Obviously ‘Trump.’ ‘Melania’ is the Queen and ‘Biden-Harris’ are not even on the board; discarded before the game begins, like:
‘I’ll spot you two pawns.’
‘Which ones?’
‘Bidden-Harris’
‘It’s a deal, because with them I’d be starting the game in-the-hole, already behind.’
‘Want to bet?’
‘Let’s make the bet a five-spot.’ Might as well pay me now.'”
“I like it. So, do you think the world is in worse shape now than before?”
“Of course it is. Look, all you got to do is ask yourself what will work years from now. Will Cuba still have a thriving black market for American consumer goods; will Venezuela still be mixing their oil with Iran’s and the Saudis’ so they can avoid sanctions and tariffs; will the Chinese continue to execute any who don’t toe the Party Line; and will the Library of Congress have burned all their books* by then?”
“So no more Constitution?”
“Are you kidding, not since the Constitution has been officially trashed by none other than Mike Pence (when he certified the fraudulent election results). It’s the end of Constitution; end of country; end of story.”
“So what’s the answer?”
“The answer is the world is becoming more violent as we become closer and closer to the One World Order. Recognize that the Deep State will stop at nothing, including murder and war, pandemic or starvation, to achieve the goal that the police and the military will act as one coherent entity, from town to town, country to country, ocean to ocean. One overseer for all.”
“That all sounds rather ominous.”
“Yes, it does, doesn’t it? And to make matters worse, the NAACP, BLM, SPLC, NOW and all the rest can’t see it; not a clue that we’re inching closer and closer to slavery for all, that the made-up term, ‘white privilege,’ is just another word: Welcome the ignorant and the gullible: Did you cry when Hillary lost?”
“What kind of books do you write?”
“Novel based on truth; books about war, like Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.”
“That’s nice.”
“People don’t read books like they used to since there’s a lot of competition for our free time. We have recorded stuff, from music to lectures; radio; TV and the Internet, so to expect people to take the time to read a story vs. watching it on the Movie of the Week is maybe expecting a bit much. books still sell but not like they used to. Just look at the caliber of people who are graduating from high school these days: do you think they go to the library to check out a book or a movie?”
“I’m sorry but we’ve run out of time, so I thank you for talking with us, Stan, and thank you, viewers, for watching us on our maiden broadcast from a city that isn’t run by morons located in a state that isn’t governed by imbeciles. And so, this is your friendly professor wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*burned the books: the recurring theme of Totalitarianism: stifle free speech; can’t use certain words or phrases such as ‘fraudulent election,’ ‘WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE,’ ‘Russian Collusion Hoax,’ and ‘Hillary’s Server/Benghazi.’]