by OPOVV, ©2021
(Jan. 31, 2021) — “A Hundred Pounds of Clay” (2:18)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. It should be a really exciting show for us today; we’ve been invited to watch some hot air balloons racing and with me is Clyde Walkins, one of the contestants, to explain it all.”
“Uh, well, not quite, Roving. You see, I think you misunderstood me on the phone last night. Matter of fact, I know you misunderstood me. I don’t know where you got the idea of racing, although there is a balloon involved.”
“No racing?”
“None whatsoever. I wrote a play, is what I did. It’s a pretty good play, if I don’t say so myself. ‘Audience participation’ sort of thing.”
“Explain what it’s all about.”
“Well, it’s about ‘the masses taking down the tyrant’ sort of story.”
“But you do have a balloon in it?”
“Oh, yes; it’s about six feet tall and looks like would you would expect a tyrant to look like: you know, someone who you would expect to trash the Constitution and its Bill of Rights.”
“We get it. So where does the audience fit in?”
“Simple: with each ticket comes a knitting needle and at the end of the play the audience is welcome to come on the stage and help let the hot air out.”
“Well, it all sounds very exciting. Anything to add?”
“Well, we require no masks. And we mention that the China flu is just another rotten flu, and that the common cold is just another virus and ask our audience to deal with it the best they can. Now if they can’t deal with reality and made-up hype by the Democratic Party, then we’ll refund their money and don’t come back, thank you very much.”
“That makes sense. Anything else?”
“Well, there’s the ‘Capitol Building Takeover’ which is as equally meaningful as a flash mob taking over a 7-11 in, say, South Dakota or Nevada, or anywhere else, for that matter”
“So is that in your play?”
“No, of course not. Only meaningful stuff and not childish make-believe ‘Hillary lost crying,’ okay?”
“Of course okay. What else?”
“The play has been sold-out since January 20, two shows a day. But here’s an interesting tidbit: the knitting needles are numbered, I mean, that’s how they came and they’re in order, meaning the first ticket got number 0,000,001. Well, that’s maybe not so interesting but what is interesting is that I’ve seen them on the Internet selling for thousands of dollars. I think the needle with ‘0,000,001’ sold for a thousand and then two days later it sold again for seven thousand dollars. Who knew?”
“Unbelievable. We’re almost out of time so time for one more gem.”
“You got it. We end the play with Rook Dunkin giving a prayer and I’ll recite it for you:
Dear Lord,
I know you can hear me because you and I talk quite often. Why, just the other day I lost the little brush that attaches to the vacuum cleaner hose and then last night I had to plug in a new bedside lamp and there it was, resting against one of the legs of the bed. And I looked but never would’ve seen it if I didn’t have to plug in the new lamp, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sorry to bother you, again, Lord, but do you think that you can make Joe Biden a REAL man, someone who you can take at his word, someone who you can respect as being honest and forthright, someone who you can rely on in case you find yourself behind enemy lines?
And can you put religion into Joe, I mean the real ‘let’s not murder babies’ kind of religion? Just asking; I and another 100 million Americans would like to know if their president is not a crook.
Maybe make him confess and see the error of his ways and put Trump back where Trump belongs: as our Commander-in-Chief?
Thank you and Amen.”
“And that’ll do it so I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight. Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”