by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020
(Dec. 15, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. For those of you who don’t know who I am, I’m a professional psychiatrist who has been a professor at a leading university; worked at the VA and was asked to leave because I balked at pushing pills; a bestselling author; a screenplay writer; and, lastly, radio talk show host. My specialty is working with Veterans who suffer from combat-induced PTSD, and I’m proud to say that I have been asked to speak at a number of symposiums addressing that very subject. With us today is Miss Barbara McKay, a Sociologist whose specialty is curing people who believe their own lies. Welcome to the show, Miss McKay.”
“Glad to be on ‘Pulse,’ Professor Zorkophsky, especially since I’ve been with you since your first broadcast, back when I could get you on satellite.”
“Please call me ‘Zork’; after all, we’re on radio and many of our listeners are dealing with rude drivers who, when they see a YIELD sign, floor it.”
“And when they see a yellow traffic light.”
“And they all speak Spanish; after all, imagine yielding to an old lady? Kind-of tarnishes any macho image they may have cultivated since birth. Everybody knows the election wasn’t honest, right?”
“You’re quite correct, Zork. And I know where you’re going with this: what kind of person accepts a lie as the truth? Am I right?”
“Yes; go on.”
“The kind of person who believes in lies are people who lie themselves. The poster child of a liar is the campaign poster of the Biden-Harris ticket. In the history of the world, there has never been a team of liars equal to Adolf Hitler. Now, as long as I have your attention, I want to say a few things. This so-called pandemic is nothing but a farce: the China-19 flu is just another flu, and for proof, the death rate hasn’t changed one iota from year to year. The face mask is another farce: the size of the flu virus and the face mask is like a mosquito and a lattice fence; in other words, the face mask is nothing more than a symbol of Big Brother’s control over the ignorant, the gullible, and the stupid.”
“So what are you really saying, Miss McKay?”
“I’m saying that this so-called China-19 Pandemic is nothing more than a pig-in-a-poke; it’s nothing but mirrors and deception; nothing but an excuse to steal an election and it needs to stop. Trump won, fair and square or, conversely, Biden won by cheating; take your pick.”
“I pick the ‘fair and square,’ but why would anyone go for the Biden-Harris ticket?”
“The mentally lame; the ill-informed; the misinformed and those infected with Jane Fonda Syndrome, sad to say, Zork.”
“Excuse me, but what’s this Jane Fonda Syndrome?”
“It’s about Little People playing make-believe.”
“Oh, you mean the Little People of the Adirondacks?”
“No, Zork. I mean people with little hopes and aspirations; little NAZI spy-on-your-neighbor; little tyrants, like the Biden-Harris pair: little minds playing grownup in a big world; little children playing with matches; playing with fire. Little people discarding freedom for slavery; free speech for censorship; worshiping for obeying without question. In short: the end of dreaming; the cessation of imagination; the extinction of the human race.”
“Pardon me, Miss, but don’t you think that’s painting it a little bit thick?”
“Then tell me, what kind of strokes would you suggest I paint ‘reeducation camps’? Or maybe you like ‘indoctrination centers’? Or maybe you don’t complain about Facebook’s and Youtube’s expunging truthfulness, or Fake News? Look, it’s either us or them; get it?”
“Who are the ‘them?’”
“The hopeless and mindless who are sitting around waiting for someone – anyone – to tell them what to do and what to think, that’s who. Notice I didn’t say ‘how to think’ because this pandemic is proof enough that people are more than willing to get in line to drink the Kool-Aid.”
“So what’s your suggestion?”
“Ditch the masks and let’s get back to normal, number one. Then kick China O-U-T and if any of our Democratic-Socialist-Communist neighbors want to go with them, fine; let’s pay their way, First Class, with the caveat that if they ever return then we give them over to the Taliban; it’s the right thing to do. I mean, ‘do unto others,’ right?”
“Well, yes, if you put it that way, I think you’re right; works for me. So what’s the conclusion of people who believe their own lies?”
“I’ll tell you straight-up, Zork: give them a taste of their own medicine; go for the jugular; no more Mr. Nice Guy. To start, what do you say we give North Korea two guests to reeducate in one of their infamous camps? Heck, Biden-Harris ought to fit right in, don’t you think?”
“I like it; I like it a lot, and with that I’m afraid we’ve run out of time so we’ll be signing off, wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, Miss McKay. Burger time: my treat.”